I will always be there for you
by Amuto4ev
Summary: Amu is married with Tadase. She is Happy. Yet, she still feels as if her heart is missing something. When she dicovers what Tadase is doing behind her back, she leaves him, her heart now completely empty. Can anyone fill it?
1. 1 Cheaters never win

_Hello Everyone! I Have decided to write a new story! I recently like, a few minutes ago red chapter 48 of Shugo Chara! And it frustrated me _so_ much! An open love triangle, No! Absolutely not! This story was not inspired (well, maybe a little bit) by Chapter 48! After reading it, I just felt the need to make something better! Anyway, I hope you like this new story! Please review, and tell me what you think of his new story! Not just "Please update so" I want to know what you think, anyway, here it is!_

_**THIS IS STRICTLY AMUTO! I KNOW THAT THE BEGINNING THROWS YOU OFF, BUT TRUST ME! And by the way, They are older in this one, Amu is... 20...Tadase is 20... Ikuto is 25... and If I have any other characters entered, I will let you know there age, too!**_

Cheaters never win

I was happy, so happy. I was with the prince of my dreams, he was mine, and know one else could have him. I was now the Mrs. Hotori, Hotori Amu. I loved it, I loved _him. _I sat there, waiting for him to come home. He worked at his own store down the street. He was in a company that was soon to be world wide, and was very popular, so I guess you could say that he was semi-ruling the world. I chuckled to myself.

He left at 7:00am and got home at around 7:00pm, long work day. I had decided that I would go pick him up from work, since it was 6:50pm he rarely ever had to work this late. I got in my blue slug bug and drove out of our drive way. We lived about 7 blocks down from where he worked, I was just a stay at home wife, so I was pretty bored most of the day. I looked at my surroundings, I looked at the houses, and I almost swerved into the other lane. I remembered that, the house that I just drove by was Utau's place, I saw her on occasions, but that wasn't what made me swerve..._Ikuto_... I thought.... No! Amu, you are happy with Tadase now! Why would you want to be with someone else!? But... I still couldn't help thinking about what Hikaru did, he collected shiny rocks to fill in the gaps in his heart... Why do I feel the same, I feel like, my heart is missing apart of it...

I pulled up in front of Tadase's corporation. I got out of my car and clicked the lock on... I had a key chain on it, it was a cat, I always thought of Ikuto when I looked at it... No, Amu!!!!!! Stop... I sighed... I walked up to the door. I opened it.

"Hello? Takuto-san?" I called to the man at the front desk.

"Oh!? Hello Hotori-san, how are you?" he asked me.

"I'm fine, I am here to pick up Tadase-kun" I said.

"Oh, um... I'm sorry but Hotori-sama checked out hours ago, today is an early release day" he said. "He got off of work at 4:30pm, ma'am" he said.

"What?" I asked, confused, where was he? He always told me if he was going somewhere after work.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Positive" He said.

"Oh..." I sighed, I could call him, Well, I guess I will search around for him for a little bit.

I wandered around for a bit looking into different stores. I was walking past a diner place when I saw him. He was sitting down at a table by himself... Or... I walked around to see his table at a better angle. Then I saw her. He was eating and talking with some girl casually. I felt my eyes stinging. _Wait, Amu, don't over react, it could be a co-worker..._ I sighed to myself, realizing I was being stupid. He didn't notice me, so I though I would walk in and greet him-- but then I noticed that he was holding her hand under the table. What?! I was getting more frustrated. Hmm... then I saw him... LEAN OVER THE TABLE AND KISS HER!!!!! What was wrong with him!? Kissing that girl, and he was still kissing her! What... Eh... I was starting to cry... How could he... My heart was broken, now it was completely empty. Why...Why would he do this to me... I turned around and ran towards my car. I turned around one more time and took a picture of it on my _phone. Don't try getting yourself out of this one, Tadase! _I tore the door open and was about to drive out onto the road. But first, I called him.

Ring ring

ring ring

ring--

"Hello?" he I saw him answer his phone in the dinner.

"Hey Tadase-kun!" I said, trying to sound happy.

"O-oh, hello! What is it?" he asked, He looked a bit nervous in the window, I smirked... Why was I acting so evil...?

"Do you want a ride home?" I asked.

"Umm... I'm a bit busy right now" he said. He better not tell me he is still working, he promised he would never lie to me at our wedding.

"Are you still working?" I asked.

"I still have something I need to take care, but I will be back soon" he said. He never said he was still working...

"O-okay" I said, my voice cracking.

"Okay... Good bye" he said. He must of heard my voice crack! He didn't even care! I looked back at the window. He was smiling and chatting with HER again. Now I drove away, drove home, faster then I should've. I pulled up into the driveway un-evenly, so now it would be more trouble for Tadase to get parked, maybe he would knock off a mirror off his stupid Ferrari! I didn't care! I got out of my car crying. I went inside and looked at myself in the mirror. I was a mess. My make up was running down my face and everything. I decided that I would fix myself up before he got home, I wouldn't let him know, not yet, that I saw him...

* * *

After I fixed myself up I decided to call someone, I was lonely. I wanted to call..._Ikuto_... my heart told me... No! I couldn't, ever since me and Tadase got married, he had never been the same, he acted almost like it wasn't real, and hasn't talked to me since, so it has only been a few months... Utau or Nagihiko... Eto... Nagi would understand, but may figure it out, Utau would try to do something... Nagi... I dialed his number

"Oh, Mushi mushi Nagi!"I said with a false happiness.

"Is everything okay, Amu-chan?" he asked me.

"Well, I wanted to talk to you about something" I said.

"Alright" he gestured me to speak.

"What would you do if, you figured out something like... I don't know... someone you loved was cheating on you? But that is just a random example!" I said, trying to cover myself up.

"Amu, are you lying?" he asked me. What should I say. I sighed, might as well tell him.  
"Nagi... What do I do!?" I wanted to cry again.

"I-- I don't know, Amu-chan, I have never been in this situation before, why don't you talk to him?"

"I can't" I said... I heard a car pulling up in the drive way.

"Please don't say anything! I have to go now, bye!" I said and hung up. I heard the door open.

"Hey, Amu! Next time be little more careful when you park your car! I almost scratched my car" He said to me. _Damn, not close enough!_ I thought.

"S-so, how was work?" I asked.

"Great, I made..." he pause, _of course work was great for you, macking with some...some...some...! _" a lot of progress!" he said happily. A lot of progress, eh? Tadase, you...BASTARD! I will never forgive him. I decided to make him suffer while I could.

"I love you Tadase-kun!" I said happily and ran towards him and gave a him a reluctant kiss. I can't believe I just did that! Blech!

"Yeah..." he said. I tasted, cherry lip gloss and french fry salt. That bastard! Eating french fries with some man-stealer!

"Tadase, why o you taste like french fries? Did you go out to eat?" I asked. He looked nervous. Perfect.

"O-oh, um yeah, I went to grab a bite to eat" he said. I will get it out of you...

"And cherry lip gloss?" I asked him, a bit more suspiciousness in my voice.

"E-eh!? Oh I don't know... Oh yeah! I um... got a cherry soda, it was really good, so yeah..." he chuckled nervously... _I know for a fact that that restaurant doesn't have cherry sodas!_

"Where did you go to eat" I asked.

"Misa's dinner" he said.

"But they don't sell cherry sodas there" I said. I eyes him suspiciously.

"Well..." he said... "Why are you accusing me of something. Do you think that I am...cheating on you?!" he eyed me now. _Yes, I do!_ I said to myself. And I have proof! Now I was going to fight.

"Yeah, I do!" I yelled at him.

"I can't believe you! You don't trust me!?" he yelled back.

"Why should I!?" I yelled back.

"Because you are my wife!" he yelled at me. I pulled out my phone and showed him the picture.

"Not, anymore" I said. I looked at him, I was going to start crying again.

_There is chapter one! Hope you liked it expect updates soon (Hopefully)_


	2. 2 I am Better Off Dead Then Alone

Annyeonghaseyo! That mean Hello/How are you in Korean! If you didn't know, We had Korean exchange students, so I have been really busy, but they are gone now... D''''''''''= I know that I haven't updated in forever and I am really sorry! I have had to much stuff going on! And as for my other Fanfic, **What woul've happened after 43, **I am not feeling inspired with it so I don't know when I will be updating, I know what to type, I just need to figure out how! Anyways here is the next chapter to... **I ****will always be there for you!**

_****Flash Back****_

"I can't believe you! You don't trust me!?" he yelled back.

"Why should I!?" I yelled back.

"Because you are my wife!" he yelled at me. I pulled out my phone and showed him the picture.

"Not, anymore" I said. I looked at him, I was going to start crying again.

_**** End of Flash Back****_

I am Better Off Dead Then Alone

He just sat there gaping at the picture. _That's right, I have proof!_

"W-where did you..." He looked at a loss for words.

"How long have you been together?! Huh? What am I?! You love me at home, but when you are "at work" you need someone else!?" I yelled at him.

"That-- That's not it! I just--" I cut him off.

"You just what!? Am I not good enough for you, when you told me you loved me... I knew I felt another emotion, like something wasn't right..." I said, Tears were spilling out of my eyes.

"What do you mean by that?!" He was-- he was acting like he was just, like, chatting with me! What the hell is his problem!?

"I never,_ ever_, should have married you, when I did, I thought I was, happy, but, I was never fully happy..." I was more talking to myself then him, _his _name kept popping up into my head... _Ikuto..._

"Come on, Amu, let me make it up to you.." he told me, trying to touch my shoulder.

"Make it up to me?! You think you can just apologize and that males everything okay?! Well, you are wrong!" I slapped his hand.

"Come on Amu, I-- I love you..." he said. Pft!

"Yeah right!" I yelled.

"Let's just talk this over--" As if!

"Get out!" I yelled at him.

"Wha--"

"I said, Get out!" I yelled and pointed towards the door.

"But this is my--

"I don't care! Get OUT! Go find I hote- Motel! I am going to pack up my stuff, and I am leaving!" I yelled at him and shoved him towards the door.

"Is there anyway I could change you mi--

"NO! GET OUT!" I yelled at him for the final time and he ran out.

I collapsed onto the couch and sat there crying for a long time. I fell asleep.

I woke up at about 3:00 am. I sat up, I had a headache, but started to gather up all my stuff...

I was almost done with my clothes when I heard my phone ring.

"H-hello?" I said.

"Oi! Amu! Are you okay? I heard shouting earlier, but I didn't have time to call, what happened?" it was Utau.

"U-Utau!!!! I... I caught Tadase cheating on me, SO We were fighting and I told him to leave and, Utau! I fell so empty and alone! Why did I make such a terrible choice to marry that Bastard!?!?" I sobbed into the phone.

"Amu-chan... I'm sorry... But frankly, I didn't think Tadase was good enough for you... Sorry, but that is the truth. HE was just a pretty face" she told me.

"Y-yeah, you are right..." I continued to cry and talk to Utau while I finished packing. I got my clothes, jewelry, etc. then it dawned on me.

"Great..." I muttered,

"What is it?" Utau asked me.

"I was so absorbed in this all, that I didn't think about where I am going to stay now that I am leaving..." I sighed internally.

"Amu, you can always crash at my place" she said.

"R-really?" I asked.

"Yeah, I mean, you don't have anywhere else, right?" she asked.

"No..." I said.

"Well then, head over anytime" she said.

"Thanks so much U-Utau!" I said, slightly happier.

"No problem!" she said.

"Alright, s-see you soon! Bye!" I said.

"Bye" she said and hung up. I sighed.

I got all my stuff gathered into one place and tossed it all into my car.

I took one good look around. I spit on the ground. I don't why I did, but I did.

_I guess marrying him really was a mistake... But... who else was there, for me....? Ikuto..._

_and there is chapter 2! It is really short! Sorry! I am typing the next one right after I submit this! Review please and thanks for reading! :)_


	3. 3 You're here?

_See told you I would get it up soon! YaY! I am really sick *cough cough sniffle sniffle!* Any who here is chapter 3!!!_

_****Flash Back****_

_ I got all my stuff gathered into one place and tossed it all into my car._

_I took one good look around. I spit on the ground. I don't why I did, but I did. _

_ I guess marrying him really was a mistake... But... who else was there, for me....? Ikuto..._

_****End of Flash Back!****_

You're here!?...

I thought about that... Would it have been better to have chosen Ikuto... I didn't know I was so confused...

I got into my car and shut the door with unnecessary force. I sighed and started my car. I pulled out of the drive way and drove down about 2 blocks, Utau lived pretty close by. I pulled into her drive way. It would be nice to see Utau again... I smiled.

I walked up to her door and knocked.

"Oi Utau! I am here!" I yelled.

I waited there for a few seconds. Then I heard voices.

"No! It is fine I'll get it!" I heard someone yell, Utau.

"It is 4:56 am, it could be a robber or someone dangerous" I heard another voice. Who was it?

"Oh, yeah, 'cause a robber would knock!" I heard Utau yell.

"Why are you acting so paranoid?" I heard the other voice ask.

"Because I didn't think that you would be here!" I heard Utau say.

"Why does it matter if I am here or not?" the other voice said.

"Just!-- This is my house, my rules! So... So go to your room!" Utau said, I giggled, she sounded like a mother.

"Excuse me?" the other voice asked.

"Please! For once, just listen!" she said, begged.

"Fine..." I heard the other voice say, giving up, defiantly.

I knocked again.

"Coming!" I heard her yell, I heard foot steps running towards the door.

"Hi! Amu! Sorry about the delay!" she said quickly.

"It's alright... But who were you talking to? Is there someone else living in your house?" I asked.

"N-no! I was... om the phone!" she said, stuttering.

"But I heard you say ' go to your room!'" I said.

"I was on the phone with... Hikaru and He was staying up to late so I told him to got to his room, to bed!" she said, she was sweating slightly, was she lying? I was tired so I didn't go into it.

"Listen, Amu, I am really sorry that his happened..." Utau said with sympathy.

"Yeah, thanks... Some how I feel... My heart, had always felt empty, even when I was with Tadase, and now, well, it doesn't feel any different... Maybe... Maybe I didn't love him like I thought I did..." I said.

"I don't think he was good for you, either" said Utau, wrapping me in a big hug.

"I... It is strange... I feel... I feel, free, kinda, like, God has been waiting for this to happen, and now it did, and I feel, happier?" I didn't want to admit it, but that was the truth.

"So you don't love him anymore?" she asked me.

"...No, I don't..." I said to myself, happy that I was finally able to admit it to myself. I heard something crash on the upper floor.

"What was that!?" it was loud, like something fell over.

"I- I don't know... It is probably nothing!" she said.

"Are you sure, maybe we should go check..." I started getting up.

"No, no! Please don't!" She said, acting paranoid again.

"Utau, is something wrong? Are you hiding something from me?" I asked her.

"N-no! Why would I? I mean What do I have to hide!?" she was sweating again.

"But you--" she cut me off.

"Here! You must be tired!" she handed me my stuff and pointed up stairs. " Let's go to your room!" she was obviously hiding something...

"Alright it is the room on the right" she said. I grabbed a door handle.

"No! Other right!" she said shoving me out of the way of the door. I was tired, so I grabbed the left instead of right.

"S-sorry, what, who's room is that?" I asked.

"O-oh! Um... The guest room, but it's a mess!" she said, panicking more. "Well, Um... Why don't you go brush your teeth, and I will bring you bags up!?" she said.

"Alright" I said.

"There is a new tooth brush in the bathroom you can use that one" she said.

"Okay" I said.

I walked into my room and set my purse down on the night stand. I walked out of the room... which one was the bathroom? I looked at all the doors, I decided to try them all. I opened the first one.

Utau's bedroom.

Second one.

Guest bedroom... She said it was a mess... it looked clean enough... There are freakin' bedroom WoW!

Third one... I heard Utau walking up the stairs. I opened the door.

Lying on the bed reading, was...

"Amu! What are you doing!--" Utau tried to shut the door, but it was to late...

"I...Ikuto?..." I stared at him in awe... And so did he...

"A-Amu" We just stared at each other.

"Crap..." I heard Utau say...

_And there is chapter 3! I left you at a cliffy! Ehehehehehehe! Email me if you want to know about the next update! ! See you later!_


	4. 4 Just like the old times

Hola! I am staying home from school today because I am sick!... I should probably be in bed... Oh well! Here is chapter 4!

_****Flash Back****_

"_I...Ikuto?..." I stared at him in awe... And so did he..._

"_A-Amu" We just stared at each other._

"_Crap..." I heard Utau say..._

_****End of Flash Back!****_

Just like the old times...

The silenced dragged on... I saw Utau look back and forth between the two of us... But we just continued to look at each other... I remembered that... he was so upset when he figured out I was marrying that gay, son of a *beep*. It felt like time had stopped, like we were all in our own little trances... My heart started beating really fast, the sudden change of pace made me put my hand on my heart, my own heartbeat startled me... My sudden movement brought us all back from our trances, time felt like it had started again.

"Amu!" I heard Utau say, and I looked at her. "What are you doing!? I told you not to come in here!" She yelled at me.

"I didn't which room was the bathroom! And, why... Why were you trying to hide him from me?" I asked, my voice cracked slightly at the end... Why did it hurt so much to know that, 1. Utau tried to hide something form me, and 2. She tried to hide _Ikuto_ from me?

"Utau! Why didn't you tell Amu was coming over!?" I heard Ikuto snap at her. He had hopped off the bed and was now looking at Utau. The sound of him saying my name made me clutch my heart harder, and made it beat faster...

"I didn't know she was until a few moments ago, you know! And why does it matter!? I am sure you have been wanting to see her! You are always locked up all day inside your room, sulking! But of course, the one time, one day when she does come over, you be defiant, and not go to your room! Half the time you are outside wandering around at night, it's not my fault you decided to stay home on the one night Amu comes! And I would figure you would be happy to see her!" She finished. Her face was slightly red after yelling that much.

He didn't say anything for a few seconds...

"Why is she even here...? Wouldn't rather be with the kiddy king?" He said, sounding kinda snotty...

I looked down, I let my bangs cover my eyes.

"Utau, I am tired and I am going to bed" was all I said, then I walked out of the room.

I walked away from them both, grabbed my suite cases, and walked into my room and shut and locked the door. I set my stuff down and collapsed on my bed. I sighed. I clutched my heart again... _Why does Ikuto make me feel this way?_ I asked myself... _but... the thought of him missing me_...I smiled..._Makes me...happy..._

I lye down in bed for a while listening to what the were saying to each other... but I couldn't make any of it out... I eventually drifted to sleep...

****3****rd**** person point of view in Ikuto's bedroom after Amu went to her room!****

"You can be so cruel Ikuto!" Utau yelled at him.

"_I'm_ cruel? She is the one just waltzing in here, acting like everything is okay! While she is enjoying herself with Tadase, I am sitting here wondering if she is happy, sick, okay... Wondering if the girl that _I love_ is okay! Nobody knows how much pain I am suffering form, how I have to hold in my emotions, not let her know how I still feel about her! How I will _always_ feel..." Ikuto said, letting his sentence drift.

"Ikuto, you don't even know why she is here..." Utau said, sitting next to him on the bed, trying to comfort him.

"Well then, why is she?" Ikuto asked.

"Do you remember the shouting we heard earlier?" Utau asked him.

"Yeah, why?" He asked.

"Ikuto... A little earlier to day, Amu told me something... And then I told her, I never thought Tadase was good enough fro you... Ikuto... Amu caught Tadase cheating on her..." Utau said and looked down.

"... Seriously?" was Ikuto could mutter, he ran his fingers through his hair.

"Yeah, so smooth move, since you weren't exactly acting, welcome" she said.

"..." Ikuto was silent.

"But..." Utau whispered into his ear... "Now it is your chance to make a move!" she pulled away. "'Night!" she said, smiled, and walked out of the room. Ikuto sat there... then collapsed on the bed and thought about what Utau had said...

****Back to Amu's point of View! Phew!****

_****I have something to say! I don't like writing in 3rd person! That is all!****_

I was dreaming. I must have been dreaming. Because there was no way that this was real. I knew it wasn't real, even if it felt real because I have had this dream before. Dia was floating there staring at me. There was one thing that was different from this dream, from all the others. I have had this dream three times before. The first time, when I became Tadase's girlfriend, the second, when he proposed, and I said yes, the third one, when we got married. The night after the day of that event I would have this dream. Dia would be floating in front of me, looking at me, with pain filled, sorrow filled eyes.

Always asking me, '_Why, Amu-chan? Why..._' that was what she told me in the first dream.

The second. '_Why, Amu-chan, why? How could you do this...? Your radiance is dimming.._'...

The third...'_Why, Amu-chan, why? How could you do this...? Your radiance is almost gone..._' that one terrified me the most, but I chose to ignore them...

This one was different from all the rest...

'_Amu-chan..._' she said... '_your radiance is back, still dim, but it is returning, you know how to make it shine, your radiance is brought to you by the person you hold dearest to your heart_' she told me.

"Who is that, who is most important to me?" I asked. Whoa! I tried to talk in the other dreams, but nothing came out... why this one?

'_Only you know that answer, you know who, your heart knows, you just have to tell your mind... Tell yourself, Amu-chan... And your radiance will shine more then ever!..._' She told me. She started to fade away...

"Wait!" I yelled at her. I stretched my arm out, but I couldn't reach. I stetch my hand out farther, I hit something. My eyes shot open.

"Eh!?" I sat up, only to realize I had just hit Utau in the face.

"Dude! What the heck is your problem! I come into wake you up, and you smack me!?" I heard her say, rubbing her face.

"Sorry... I was dreaming..." I said I yawned.

"Dreaming about what? Smacking me In the face!?" she yelled me.

"No, nothing never mind" I told her.

"Right, are you hungry?"

"Oh yeah, I guess..." I said getting up.

"Okay, I will go make some waffles" she said and went down stairs.

"Thanks!" I hollered out the door. I went to go close it so I could get changed, so I grabbed a new shirt, a pair of pants and new under wears, as I was closing the door, I saw Ikuto walk out of his room, he looked in my direction. We made I contact. Then he looked at what I was carrying in my hands. Of course my bra was hanging out of the pile of clothes, and he saw it, so I immediately turned red and slammed the door, and out of habit yelled:

"Pervert!"

I put my back against the door and listened. I heard him chuckle loudly. I could hear him smirking!!!!!! Err... Unconsciously I was smiling...

****Both Amu and Ikuto's thought's (3rd person)****

'_It is just like the old times...' They both thought._

_And there is chapter 4! I hope you liked it! :)_


	5. 5 I would

_Here is Chapter 5!_

_****Flash Back****_

"_Thanks!" I hollered out the door. I went to go close it so I could get changed, so I grabbed a new shirt, a pair of pants and new under wears, as I was closing the door, I saw Ikuto walk out of his room, he looked in my direction. We made I contact. Then he looked at what I was carrying in my hands. Of course my bra was hanging out of the pile of clothes, and he saw it, so I immediately turned red and slammed the door, and out of habit yelled:_

"_Pervert!"_

_I put my back against the door and listened. I heard him chuckle loudly. I could hear him smirking!!!!!! Err... Unconsciously I was smiling..._

****Both Amu and Ikuto's thought's (3rd person)****

_'It is just like the old times...' they both thought._

_****End of Flash Back****_

I would

I finished getting change and ran down stairs. I had just realized that I was starving.

"'Morning, Utau!" I said, I was happy today, after that one small thing, seeing Ikuto smile, made me happy.

"Morning, you seem like you are in a better mood today" she said, smiling at me popping waffles out of the toaster.

"Yeah" I said, stretching. She put my waffles on my plate and set down syrup and butter next to them, there were 4 waffles.

"I hope those are enough" She said.

"Hopefully" I dumped syrup on them, along with butter. I started eating them really fast, since I was so hungry...

...

I was just finishing my third waffle when I heard footsteps coming down the stairs, I looked at the stair way, a hunk of waffle still hanging out of my mouth, and down the stairs came Ikuto. He saw my expression. Innocent looking eyes with waffle hanging out must have been a funny sight, and he cracked up in laughter. He was gripping the hand rails.

"Hey!" I yelled at him and stood up, tripping over my own two feet, fall on the ground, landing on my butt.

"Ow..." I said, rubbing my butt. He was buckling over with laughter.

"Why are you laughing at me!?" I turned to look at Utau, who was smiling and laughing slightly, I'm sure she was happy that everything was going along great.

"Dude, who _wouldn't _be laughing at you?" he said, falling to the floor.

"Oh! You know what?!" I said, fuming and rising up.

"What?" he asked.

He caught me off guard...

"Um...I'll..." I was thinking... I was staring off into space...So when I had finally thought up a good response, I hadn't realized that Ikuto was standing a few inches away from me

"Ah!" I screamed and jumped back, started loosing my balance, flayed my arms out trying to regain it, and knocked Ikuto to the ground, since I had caught _him_ off guard, so when I fell over I ended up falling on him. I was sitting on his stomach cross legged looking at him in triumph.

"You'll squish me to death?" he said. "Fatty" he said, smirking.

I was going to tell him I wasn't fat, but he would surely just use it against me so I started getting up a little bit, then I sat back on him again, hard. He hadn't expected this, so when I did he grunted.

"Unh--! See, you are fat!" he told me, trying to get up.

"I will sit on you again!" I said.

"You already are" he said.

I raised and eyebrow at him, and started to get up again. I was about to sit back down again but then... He lifted his legs up, knocking me in the back, so that I fell forward.

"Kya!" I yelled out. I put my arms forward to break my fall. I shut my eyes tight. When my hands hit the ground I opened my eyes. I gasped. I was less then an inch away from Ikuto's face. Our noses were practically touching. We stayed in that position for a few seconds. Then I snapped out of it.

"Ah!" I pushed my hands on the floor and shot back up to a sitting position and was now leaning back against Ikuto's legs. I had one leg at each of his sides, and I just looked at him, in shock. My heart was beating really fast. I stood up, a little shaky..._ Why am I so... Nervous and...Excited?...!_ What?! Why was I excited?! Why do I care that I was so close to him?! Ah! What is wrong with me... I looked over at Utau... Her mouth was a gape.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Silence . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

I was still standing over, I stepped to the sides, trying to think of what to say to fill the silence...Umm...before I could say something, Ikuto got up silently and walked up stairs...

Me and Utau just looked at each other.

Utau cleared her throat... "Well..um... that was..." she was thinking.

"Seems like something that would've happened back in the day..." I said.

"Yeah..." she looked at me more. "Dude! You face is so red!" she pointed out. I realized that my face was hot.

"Oh! Damn it! I thought I was over that!" I yelled, putting my hands on my face, I thought I heard laughter from up stairs.

"Why are you smiling, Amu?" Utau asked me.

"Huh?" I realized I was smiling, unconsciously.

"Oh...um... I don't know why, actually" I said. I walked towards the couch and sat down.

"Could it be that you enjoyed it?" she said smugly, putting her hand on her chin, now _she _ was teasing me? It must run in the family...

"Shut up!" I picked up a pillow and threw it at her.

"Hey!" she said and threw it back. I dodged it. I picked it up and put it back on the couch.

"Well, did you?" she asked me again.

"Huh?" She actually wanted me to answer...?

"I'm serious" she said. "Did you?" she asked again.

I thought about it... did I? I mean, maybe, but... Maybe just because it brought back memories from the past... I looked back at Utau, I was about to answer when I saw her quickly glance at the stairway, and then look back at me. I glared at her. Her opened wider. I ran quickly to look through the stair way, only to see a streak of blue run inside a room and slam the door.

"Utau! What the heck was that for!?" I yelled at her. "Why did you want me to say something about that in front of him!?" I asked.

"Amu" she whispered, and walked towards me. "Amu, he still-- He still... He is still in love with you, Amu, please, I can tell that you have feelings for him, you just won't admit those feelings, so they never get to develop, I just needed to tell you this" she told me. I had not seen that coming... O h my God... I didn't know what to say. I just walked to the couch and collapsed. She followed.

"I am... so terrible..." I said, my eyes were watering.

"No, your not. Tadase is" she said, rubbing my back.

"I can't believe I hurt him, so much" I started crying. I started crying into her shoulder.

"It's okay Amu. See, this is what I am talking about, you feel so guilty when you hurt him, because he is special to you, has a special spot in you heart" she told me. Those words hit me. Was that why I cared about him so much?... I don't know... I wiped my eyes clear of tears... Did I love Ikuto... I don't know... I could never admit it...

_Ding-Dong_

"Eh?" My head snapped up. Who could it be?

"I wonder who it is?" I heard her ask herself.

She walked to the door and I stayed on the couch.

"Hello--" she stared wide eyed at the person in the doorway. "What do you want?" she asked in an irritated voice.

I heard that and walked up to the door.

"Utau, who is it--" I can't believe it. "Why are you hear!?" It was Tadase! What did that bastard want?!

"Amu! I needed to talk to you..." he said, looking down, trying to act innocent.

"Oh! Cut out the act! I know you are just trying to look cute!" I yelled at him. He looked up and sighed.

"I will ask you again, what do you want?" Utau asked.

"Amu, I just wanted to that I am sorry and that I was an idiot and-- is there anyway that I can possibly get you back? Please..." He looked at me. "Please you are the only one for me, I don't know what I was thinking. Please, take me back" he begged.

"Do you honestly think that she would take you back?" Utau asked him.

"Because there is no way I will ever! You are just degrading yourself by crawling back to me!" I yelled at him.

"I am the _only _ one for her! Well, who else would take her?" He said.

I scoffed. "You--" I heard footsteps behind me and I was firmly but gently moved out of the way.

Ikuto.

Ikuto stared at him coldly.

"I would. You never have been and never will be good enough for her. Now leave before I do something I am going to regret" Ikuto told him. I had never seen him So... protective and serious...

"I-Ikuto..." I whispered.

"Why in the right mind would she want you?" he asked.

"Because I am not a cheating bastard! I am not a lier! I don't keep secrets from the people I care about! _That's_ why!" Ikuto yelled at him.

"But does _she_ want _you_?" he asked. This time I move Ikuto out of the way.

"Tadase... Go away I never want to see be so terrible to the people I care about again. Leave!" I pointed to his car.

"...Amu-koi--

"No! You will not call me that! Leave right now before I call the cops!" I yelled at him.

He stood there for a few seconds, but then slowly walked away.

He drove away...

It was silent.. the mood was still fiery after all the yelling.

"Thank you... both of you" I said.

"He had no right to be here, we had to do something" Utau said.

Ikuto said nothing. He looked at me with soft eyes, not the hard ones he used on Tadase. "Your welcome" was all he said and he walked up stairs to his room...

"We should probably get to bed, too" Utau said.

"Yeah" I said.

After I got ready, I crawled into bed. To stressed to sleep immediately... I tried and tried but couldn't.. I started thinking about all the things I wished I could've said to Tadase. I started getting tired... right before I fell asleep two words Ikuto had said came to my mind:

"_I would"..._

_And there is chapter 5! I liked this one! Hope you did, too! =D School starts again tomorrow, good bye weekend! I will try to have the next chapter out soon!_


	6. 6 My Feelings

Hello! I am reading a new manga, Destination Heaven Chronicles, aka Angel Diary! It is really good and I suggest that you read it! Anyways! Here is chapter 6!

_****Flash Back****_

_After I got ready, I crawled into bed. To stressed to sleep immediately... I tried and tried but couldn't.. I started thinking about all the things I wished I could've said to Tadase. I started getting tired... right before I fell asleep two words Ikuto had said came to my mind:_

"_I would"..._

_****End o Flash Back****_

My Feelings...

I think I was dreaming. Because I didn't remember ever waking up... I was sitting down watching T.V. On Utau's couch. I didn't really know what I was watching, but I just kept watching what was ever on. I tried to change the channel... but in most of my dreams, I try to do something but I can never do it... -.-' *sigh* So I just continued watching the random colors and objects on the screen... I heard footsteps, I unconsciously turned to the noise.

Someone-- no, two people were walking down stairs... It was Utau and Ikuto. They walked over to me and Ikuto sat down next to me on the couch and, since sometimes dreams can be pretty crazy, I looked around and Utau was gone, disappeared.

So it was just me and Ikuto, alone.

Geh! What was I thinking!? It's a dream! Why does it matter!? Still... I felt like my heart would probably be racing if this situation was real... Since I couldn't really move, I just let the dream take it's own course...

I kinda felt let the all knowing eye, like I saw everything that was happening, like I knew something big was gonna happen but I didn't really know what... So I watched... then... Ikuto grabbed my hand... I looked at him... He looked at me... Then I heard a voice that echoed around the room so I didn't know where it came from but it said:

"_Your radiance..._" It was Dia's voice... _My radiance..._ Was... Was it possible that _he_ was... I couldn't think much in a dream...

"_Huh_" my dream voice said...

"_Amu..." _Ikuto's dream voice said.

I turned to him again.

"Yes?"

"_I love you"_ his dream voice said.

What?! I didn't say anything I just stared at him...

"_I love you, too"_ my dream voice said.

Eh?!.. Did I say that?! No, that was my dream voice... wasn't it? But, even if so, why?... Ikuto started leaning into me... his face was close to mine... What was going on...? We were so close... but... the second our lips had just barely touched, my eyes shot open. My heart was pounding.

"Eh?!"_What just happened...? I was dreaming..._

I sat up and looked at my bedside digital clock... The little green numbers said it was only 5:43am...

I groaned and rolled over... I was dreaming about... Ah! What was it.

I hit myself in the head with my fist...

_Why can't I remember!? _I know that this dream was really... important? Yeah... It was a... it was a really great dream... I really loved it... but why can't I remember!? Ah!!!!!!! I was... sitting... somewhere... and then... What happened!? I heard something important! I need to remember!

I got out of bed and went to use the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror... My eyes had bags... _It's to early..._ I thought... I slowly walked out into the hall. I started walking towards my room... Then I noticed that Ikuto's door was slightly cracked...

I walked over to his door, not knowing what I might do. I just stood there in front of it.

I put my hand on the door and started pushing it. I stopped, I started thinking about what I was doing... Why do I want to see Ikuto? I had only pushed it open about an inch more when it hit me.

_What am I doing!?_

I walked away from the door and ran back into my room. I shut the door. I was breathing hard.

"What the heck was I doing" I asked myself. I ran my hand through my hair.

I collapsed on my bed. I closed my eyes and caught a few more hours of sleep...

* * *

I woke up with sunlight shining in my bedroom window. I squinted. I rolled over to look at my clock.

8:35am

So I got a few more hours of sleep.

I sat up and rubbed my eyes. I sighed. I wasn't really that tired so I got up to get changed.

I walked down stairs. I passed by Utau's room. I heard light snoring. She was still asleep. I passed by Ikuto's room as well. I also heard light snoring. He was also asleep... So I was the first one up. I sighed and walked down stairs. I looked in the fridge and grabbed two eggs... my stomach growled... okay, three. I put them on the counter and grabbed a pan from in the cupboard. I put it on the stove and turned on the gas. I waited for the pan to heat up.

"Oops!" I forgot to get the butter. Went to the fridge to get it. I grabbed it and set it down on the counter next to the eggs. I walked over to the cabinet to get a cup. When I was walking past the stove, I bumped into the pan handle and it started falling to the floor. I tried to grabbed the handle, but missed and grabbed the main part of the pan, which was extremely hot.

"Ah! Shit!" I yelled letting the pan drop to the floor. It made a loud clatter. I clutched my hand, I grabbed a towel and got it wet and wrapped it tightly around my burnt hand. I listen to see if anyone was coming. I didn't here anyone, and I still heard light snoring. Good, maybe I didn't wake them up. **phew*

My hand was still burning.

"Geh...!" It hurt, still. I let a few tears slip. Ow! I wanted ice, but we had none left. I heard light tapping. Stupid gas oven. Always making those clicky noises!

"Amu!" I heard Someone run up behind me. Ikuto.

"Hey" I said.

"Dude, what did you do to your hand--..." He looked around, and saw the frying pan on the floor. I saw him sigh and chuckle lightly... "klutz"... He said.

"Shut up!" I yelled at him.

"Here, let me see your hand" he said. I pulled my hand away, since it hurt, touching it would probably hurt worse. But he Gently grabbed it. It didn't hurt, as much as I thought it would... I felt... safe letting Ikuto help... He has always been there for me, when I was in danger or needed help. I smiled.

He unraveled the towel. He looked up at me.

"What are you smiling about?" he asked.

"Eh?" I didn't really know why... "I... I don't know" I said.

"Hmm... He said and looked at me, tilted his head, but then shook his head looked back at my hand.

"Ouch, why the heck did you grab the hot pan? Are you really that dumb?" he asked jokingly.

"No! It fell and I missed the handle!" I told him.

He just sighed.

"Here get up" he said, grabbing my good hand and helping me up. His touch was so, gentle...

I stood up and, he said:

"I am going to get the first 'egg' kit, I'll be right back"

"What did you say!?" I asked, my eye twitching.

"I said I am going to get the first aid kit" he said, chuckling.

"Okay" I said, irritated. I sat there, bored. I started spinning the eggs around with my fingers. I spun one and it fell off the counter.

"Crap!" I said. But before it could splatter on the floor I tried to grab it. I missed. I was leaning in to get it since it rolled to the other side of the counter so it landed on the ground in front of me, so when it hit the floor, it was just my luck that my foot landed on the spot where the egg broke so I slipped and started falling. I clutched my hand and closed my eyes and waited to hit the floor. But I never did. I opened my eyes. Of course, Ikuto was holding me in his arms about a foot and a half from the ground.

I sighed.

"I can't leave you alone for even two seconds, and you almost crack your head open?" he said. He noticed the egg on the floor "And you also can't keep anything clean, either" he said.

I just smiled and looked at him. He raised an eyebrow at me and helped me stand up. When I got my balance back and was back on my feet, I started laughing.

"What are you laughing at?" he asked, staring at me like I was crazy.

"I just think it is kind of funny how when ever I am in danger or need help, you always show up" I told him.

"Guess you're just lucky" he said.

"Yeah" I said.

"Here, let me see your hand" he said.

I held my hand out. He grabbed my hand and put some cream on it. I cringed.

"Sorry" he said. I smiled he really cared about me.

He finished putting on the cream.

"There, better?" he asked.

It was some kinda cold cream, so my hand did feel better.

"Yeah... Thanks!" I said, I flexed my hand slowly. It stung.

"Idiot!" he said lowly, gently grabbed my hand. "Just because I put medicine on it to make it feel better, doesn't mean the burn is gone" he said.

"Ehehehe..." I laughed lightly.

I looked up at him. He looked at me. We just stared at each other in silence... Our faces were, only about a ½ a foot apart...

My heart started pounding. I could feel my face turning red...

All I had to do was lean in a little bit, I was sure he would take it the rest of the way...

Eh!? What was I thinking!? But... His lips looked so soft... and his eyes... I was getting lost in them.

It was silent for a few more seconds...

"Why are you blushing?" he asked, smirking.

"E-eh?!" I said, my mouth hanging open. I backed away and turned away from him, blushing madly.

He laughed loudly.

"W-well, why are you laughing?" I turned to him and asked.

He leaned into me so are faces were only a few inches apart.

"I asked first" he said.

"Eh...um..." I was at a loss for words.

He chuckled again. He messed up my hair slightly.

"Yup, you're still the same old Amu" He said.

"I am not!" I yelled at him.

"How so?" he asked.

...

"Well, I have changed! I um...My..." I could say it... I mean, it would probably just mess with his head more, so I thought I might as well get as much out of the deal... "My feelings have changed" I said.

He stared at me, wide eyed.

"W-what do you mean?" He asked.

This time, it was my turn to smirk.

"That is for me know" I said and stood up "and you to wait and find out" I winked and walked up stairs, laughing. Before I walked up stairs, I looked at him, and he was just staring at me with this dumb look on his face, which just made me laugh more, I saw him smile/smirk when I walked up stairs.

I sighed... Okay, maybe I do Love him, just a little...

**^Amu's inner voice, that she still refuses to listen to, well, not as much as before^**

"_No! You love him a lot!!! Stop lying to yourself!!!!" It yelled at her._

_**Back to 1****st**** person**_

...although, will never tell him that any time soon...

_And there is chapter 6! I wrote this chapter twice, but decided I liked this one before, cause when I first typed it, I made her remember the dream earlier, but it didn't sound right so I re-wrote it, I'll update soon, hopefully!_


	7. 7 Eggs and Bananas!

_Yeah, I have no idea where this story is going… I might end it soon, if I get around to it… So sorry, I have such bad writers block! XD_

_****FLASHBACK****_

_**"Well, I have changed! I um...My..." I could say it... I mean, it would probably just mess with his head more, so I thought I might as well get as much out of the deal... "My feelings have changed" I said.**_

_**He stared at me, wide eyed.**_

_**"W-what do you mean?" He asked.**_

_**This time, it was my turn to smirk.**_

_**"That is for me know" I said and stood up "and you to wait and find out" I winked and walked up stairs, laughing. Before I walked up stairs, I looked at him, and he was just staring at me with this dumb look on his face, which just made me laugh more, I saw him smile/smirk when I walked up stairs.**_

_**I sighed... Okay, maybe I do Love him, just a little...**_

_**^Amu's inner voice, that she still refuses to listen to, well, not as much as before^**_

_**"No! You love him a lot! Stop lying to yourself!" It yelled at her.**_

_**Back to 1st person**_

_**...although, will never tell him that any time soon...**_

* END OF FLASHBACK*

Eggs and Bananas!

I walked into my room and shut the door. I smiled in satisfaction. He was probably still standing there with that stupid face! Ah, priceless…

I walked over to my bed and lay down on the sheets. I was looking up at the ceiling fan, just day dreaming about nothing, relaxing. Then something flashed in my head:

"_Tell yourself, Amu-chan" _It was Dia's voice.

I shot up into a sitting position. I gripped one side of my head. I was so confused, I couldn't figure out where her voice was coming from! My heart, my head, the air…

"_Only you know that answer" _I heard again. This only caused me more confusion. I buried my face in my pillow and tried to focus on her voice, trying to find her location.

"…_person you hold dearest to your heart" _I heard her distance voice say.

Then my head was silence and she was gone, for now.

"What the hell was that?" I asked myself quietly. I rubbed my temples, confused.

"Was it from a dream?" I thought, but nothing came to mind. I sighed and collapsed on the bed.

"Dearest to my heart? What is that supposed to mean?" I asked myself.

"Oi! Amu, 'you alright?" I heard Utau ask me through my locked door.

"Y-yeah I'm fine!' I hollered back.

"Okay" I heard her say with a skeptical tone.

I heard her footsteps on the stairs

"What up with you, Ikuto?" I heard her ask. Was he really still just standing there? What a dork.

"…It's nothing…" I heard him reply.

"What is up with everyone today?" I heard Utau ask. "First Amu is being a shut-up in her room and now you are drifting off in Lala land… Did I miss something?" I heard her sigh loudly. "Listen, I'm going out to do some shopping, I'll be back in a few hours… By the time I'm back, you better be back to normal, and tell Amu that, too… I swear you guys are all crazy" I heard the door slam shut and there was silence down stairs.

I lay there listening for any signs that Ikuto was coming up stairs. I didn't hear anything. I sighed in relief. Even though it was fun teasing, I wouldn't even admit it to myself that I loved him, let alone admit it to him. I closed my eyes… What would I do if he came up here and started questioning me about it? I don't know what I'd do…

*Grumble*

Crap. After the whole hand fiasco, I never even got breakfast T0T

There is know way I am going down there to face him. It would be way to embarrassing to have him question me about our previous conversation.

I sighed. Well, for all he knows, he… Well… He doesn't know that I might love him! So I guess it doesn't really matter if I go make breakfast or not! It will be like, being in the kitchen with Utau! Yup! Utau!

I jumped out of bed and headed to the door. I grabbed the handle and stopped abruptly. I took a deep breath, and opened the door.

I walked quietly to the staircase. No sign of him… Not that it mattered! Pfft…

I slowly walked down the stairs and stopped at the bottom. I peaked around the corner.

No sign of him. I sighed in relief.

"Is he still there?" I heard someone whisper in my ear.

O.O

"Oh My God!" I screamed and jumped back away from the voice behind me. Of course, it was Ikuto, standing there, no longer appearing stumped by our conversation, or, so it seemed…

"What's wrong?" he asked me.

I stared a him, eyes wide, heart pounding, and whether that was from him startling me, or him being in my presence, I was unsure of.

He raised his eyebrows at me.

I slowly straightened up.

"C-can I help you?" I asked him, annoyed.

"No, I was just coming down to watch some T.V." he told me.

_What happened to that dumb-founded guy from a few minutes ago?_

"Oh…" was all I said.

"What were you doing? You were walking so sneakily… You were probably coming down to-

"I was not coming down sneakily because I was worried you would still be here!" I cut him of, before he could mock me.

He simply stared at me.

"I wasn't going to say that, I was going to say that you were afraid that Utau would see the mess you made and be mad at you…" he told me.

He planned what he was going to say. He so did, I can see it in his face.

I started blushing.

"Pfft! Whatever!" I stomped into the kitchen, utterly embarrassed.

I could feel him watching me. Irritated, I almost forgot that I never cleaned up the egg. I looked down, just in time to keep from stepping in it. Then, of course, I forgot about the pan, and accidentally stepped in ti with my bare foot. I waited for pain, but there was none. Luckily, the pan had cooled down enough and it was only warm. I sighed.

I looked back and saw Ikuto laughing at me.

"Idiot…" I heard him say under his breath.

"Beh!" I made a =_p face at him.

I washed off the pan and got another egg out of the fridge. I tossed them into the pan and let them cook. As I waited, I looked over at the T.V.. I could only see the back of Ikuto's head, but I fixed my eyes on him. I was examining the way his hair was parted, and how it always seemed to stay the same when he spoke.

"I know I am mesmerizing, but why are ou staring at my hair?" he asked me.

"W-what! What are you talking about!" I asked frantically, completely embarrassed.

He got up and walked to the DVD cabinet. It had glass panel dorrs and he opened it and angled it a me. Sure enough, I could see how he saw me. Through the reflection of the glass… Ugh, I will never live this down!

He laughed at my expression.

"Oh, and by the way," he pointed behind me "I think your eggs are burning" he winked at me and plopped back on the couch, chuckling. I turned around, and my eggs were black.

"Ah! Crap! I am so done with this!" I grabbed the entire pan and just tossed it in the sink.

Frustrated, I grabbed the phone and decided to just order some breakfast.

(A/N Can you even do that? XD Ahaha!)

"Oi, Ikuto, I'm ordering food, do you want anything?" I asked him.

"What kind of food?" He asked.

"Breakfast food!" I told him.

He chuckled.

"Nah, I don't want to get fat, like you" he said.

"Shut up! I'm not fat!"

"Sure…" he replied.

Frustrated, I just hung up on them.

I grabbed a granola bar and a banana and started up the stares.

"You're still gonna get fat!" He called after me.

I was fed up with him. I gripped he banana in my hand, locked onto his head, and released it.

Bull's-eye.

I heard him cry out, and rub his head. I was laughing. So. Hard.

I could have fallen on the floor, but I was smarter then that, I saw him turn to me and he know I was the culprit, I saw him jump up and run towards the stairs. I ran to my room, shut the door, and locked it. Then I doubled over and fell to the ground laughing. Heard him run up the stairs to find me already in my room. It was silent. Then I heard him run somewhere, and in about a minute, he was back. Then a thought came to me. Wonder if he has a-

Then he barged in, it was what I feared… He had a key. I stared at him, expecting to be punished in some sort of way. But whatever punishment I would receive would be so worth it. I had only planned to, at most, hit him in the head, but I never expected that it would burst open and cover his head with banana! It was to priceless, I was laughing so hard, pounding my fists against the floor, it was just to good. It hurt, so badly, but it was just to funny! I laughed and laughed for about another two minutes, because every time I would look back up at him, I would just start laughing again. But once I had mostly recovered, I finally looked back up at him an just stared at him, giggling. He had one hand on his hip, the other by his side.

"Can…" I laughed a bit, then coughed, and continued "Can I help you?" I asked blandly.

He just stared at me. Then out of no where, he raised his hand quickly, I felt something touch my head, then heard something crack, and then something liquidy drip down my face, and the rest of my head. It dripped of my eyes so I couldn't see what it was but, it smelled like, it smelled like…

Eggs.

I used my hand to wipe my eyes, and sure enough, there was egg shell in my hair and on the ground. I stared at him, and this time he was laughing. Did he seriously just do that? Did he just dump egg on me! What is with him and eggs! Seriously! This is gonna be so gross to rinse out of my hair! And off the floor! Oh… He is _so _dead.

I took advantage of him being on the floor, and once again, I sat on him, or, well, more like I dropped myself right on his stomach. Feeling a sense of Déjà vu, and then remembering the other day, I immediately got off and walked to the bathroom. I heard footsteps following quickly behind me, then it hit me. Two people with messy hair. One bathroom. One shower. I needed to hurry, I ran to the bathroom that was just around the corner. I ran inside and shut the door behind me. Ahaha! I win! I looked at my hair and saw that the yolk was still intact on my head.

I heard him sigh.

"That's okay, I can wait." I heard him say. No, something's not right, there is no way he would just give up like that.

"I will just, wait out here" I heard him continue. "right by the door, the thin, thin, door." he said. What was he getting to? "The only thing separating us, and, uh, just remember, I have the key." he said.

That sick pervert. There is no way he would ever actually sink that low! Never! B-but still, now I am conscious of his presence. I sighed in defeat.

I grabbed a towel and opened the door. I gave him the death stare.

"You can go first" I told him, gritting my teeth.

"Why the sudden change of heart?" he asked me.

"I got scared" I told him. Scared of the pervert right outside the door.

"Aw, so you wanted to take a bath with me?" he asked. I could feel myself blushing.

I decided to take his offer to my advantage. I squatted down next to him, and put on an innocent face, he looked puzzled. I inconspicuously grabbed the yolk carefully off my head, and threw it at his face.

"No, I'm good, I just thought you could probably use the shower more then me" I smirked and laughed at his expression of shock and disgust.

I turned away with my towel and walked down stairs, and heard the bathroom door shut and the shower start running. I sighed, that was to good, first the banana on his head the egg yolk dripping down his face all over his body, it is gonna suck to wash it all off of himself… Ah! I slapped myself in the face! NO! No! Go away! Mental image! Don't imagine him naked in the shower! Ack! Stop thinking about it! Crap! I am such a pervert! But it isn't like I actually want to see it! No no! Okay, just… Stop…

I set my towel down on the counter, and turned on the faucet waiting for it to heat up to wash my hair… I waited and just listen to the sound of the water running…

"Dearest to my heart?" I said unconsciously while playing with the water coming from the faucet with my hand…

_What does Ikuto mean to me, anyway?_


	8. 8 Your Radiance

_Well, at least this one came out faster then the last one! Ahaha! Thanks for putting up with me guys! (If anyone still reads this XDX) Well, here is chapter 8! ^-^_

*Flashback*

_"Dearest to my heart?" I said unconsciously while playing with the water coming from the faucet with my hand…_

_What does Ikuto mean to me, anyway?_

*End of Flashback*

Your Radiance

I wrapped my towel around my shoulders and stuck my head in the sink. It felt so good to let all the egg just rinse out of my hair, luckily I had manage to contain it all to one spot, instead of all over my body like Ikuto.

Ikuto… How do I really feel about him… I just can't seem to wrap my thoughts around it. Well, I know I care about him, and that he is a really special person to me… I can't imagine my life without him, and I always enjoy spending time with him… He is always there to save me and back me up, and he doesn't know how much that means to me… But that isn't love, is it? Isn't that just a close friendship? ( Completely oblivious… ¬¬ )

I don't know, I am so confused…Ah! I scrubbed my head in confusion, and to help get rid of the rest of the egg. I sighed and just let the water wash over my head and I closed my eyes…I thought about everything that has happened, I remember on the first day of my arrival, I was so upset… and now, it has been, maybe a week? (A/N I have know idea! XD So let's just say a week! XD) After just this one week, Ikuto has made me happy again. Because of him I can laugh and smile and goof off like I used to, like I always was able to do around him. I have always been able to show him sides of me that I would never show to anyone else.

I sighed.

"I think… Do I really l…" I stopped, listening to the footsteps coming down stairs.

I lifted my head out of the sink, hitting my head on the faucet, and grabbed my towel to dry my hair.

"Ow…" I said, rubbing my head.

"What did you do now? I have been in the shower for ten minutes, I'm surprised you haven't killed yourself yet" I heard Ikuto say as he climbed down the staircase. He walked into the kitchen drying his hair, but that wasn't what stuck out. I turned back to the sink, avoiding looking at Ikuto.

"What?" I heard him ask me.

He wasn't wearing a shirt! Why! Does he have any decency? I could feel the blush rushing to my face. I made sure the my towel was wrapped around my ears so he couldn't see what color they were. I slowly turned to him.

"What?" I asked him. He just stared at me. Then he sighed.

"Why did you wash your hair in the sink?" he asked me.

I could have just told him I didn't feel like waiting, but that's no fun.

"It is a very thin, thin door…" I repeated what he had said earlier and he laughed at me, and I did, too.

We both sighed. Then he started walking towards me.

"Amu," he said and put his hand on my cheek. My eyes opened wide, and my face started to heat up again, I could feel my heart racing. What was he doing! "You missed some egg right here" he finished and showed me a bit of egg and tossed it in the sink.

"Oh…" I sighed, but I wasn't sure if it was a sigh of relief or, disappointment?…

"What?" he asked me.

"N-nothing!" I said and walked quickly towards the stairs.

_What am I thinking! Why would he just randomly decide to kiss me! I am so stupid!_

I walked into my room and shut that door. I collapsed onto my bed and sighed. Did I seriously want him to kiss me? Or was I just in the moment? I don't know! Ah! But… Could it be, that I, really do…love Ikuto? Have I, loved him all along? Something has always been missing, but, I was never really sure, what…

I rolled over onto my side. Why am I just thinking about this all now…?

"Oi, Amu, can I come in?" I heard Ikuto knock on my door.

I gasped. What should I do? I- I just realized that I, I love- That I might love Ikuto! I can't face him! No freakin' way! ( Won't admit that she loves him )

"Oi!" He knocked again.

"W-what?" I replied.

"Can I come in?" he asked.

"Why?" I demanded.

"So we can talk?" he sounded confused.

"About what?" I asked him, obviously stalling.

I heard him sigh.

"I'm coming in!" He said.

My heart started racing and I sat up on my bed.

He walked in and stared at me skeptically.

"W-what?" I asked him.

"Why did you run up here?" he asked me.

"Can't I run to my bedroom without being questioned! Geez…" Ack! Not good! I'm being to defensive!

"What's up with you?" he asked me.

"Nothing…" I said, trying not to look at him.

"Are you mad at me?" he asked.

My head snapped up.

"No! Why would I be mad at you!" I asked frantically.

"Because I smashed an egg on your head" he reminded me.

I thought about that, so relieved he wasn't suspecting anything.

"Oh! That! No! No! I'm not mad! It was just pay back! Since I through a banana at your head!" I said, to enthusiastically.

"Oh, okay, good…" he told me.

I looked back up at him. He is still not wearing a shirt! Come on! Stop going about the house half-naked! Ugh!

We sat in quiet for a bit, and it was becoming, awkward.

I took this silence to think things over.

Okay, so I think I might love Ikuto, but I am not quite sure… I am so confused right now, my head is spinning. When I am with him I am always so, so happy… So light… So, r-radiant? I-is Ikuto… Is Ikuto, my radiance? Has my radiance really been with me the whole time? Ikuto, has always been the one to make me my brightest, so, I guess…

_Amu…_

I heard a small voice say… Dia!

_Yes, Amu… This is your radiance_

So, is he really…?

_Your radiance, the person you hold dearest to your heart, you know the name…call it out…_

I hesitated for a second, but then said it.

"Ikuto…"

"What?" I heard him reply.

I flinched, I totally forgot he was in the room, I didn't even remember where I was. I got lost in Dia's words… That means… I just said his name out loud.

"Oi, what is it?" he asked again.

"Uh…" was all I could think of to say.

Then I heard a door slam. Utau! Oh, Utau! Thank you! You just saved me!

"Oh! Utau's back! She said she went shopping! I'm going to go help her with her stuff!" I called out to him and ran towards the door.

He caught me arm just as I was about to head out the doorway…

_Damn it!_ I thought.

"How did you know she was going shopping?" he asked me.

"Well, she wasn't home, so I figured she went out…" I told him… I can't let him figure out I was eavesdropping on their conversation earlier.

"But how did you know she was going shopping?" He asked.

"Well, I just kinda figured…" I replied. Crap, crap, crap!

"Were you listening through your door earlier?" He asked.

"Well, you guys were talking really loud, so I just overheard" I replied.

We starred each other down, and, he seemed to believe me, and let go. I ran, no, flew down the stairs, my heart racing.

_Why is my heart racing just because he grabbed my wrist?_

I stood at the bottom of the steps. What am I doing? I need to chill out. I put my hand on my chest an took a deep breath.

"Amu, are you okay?" I heard Utau ask.

"Eh! Y-yeah, I'm fine, why do you ask?" replied frantically.

"Well, you flew down the stares and were acting… Strange…" she starred at me.

"N-nope! I'm great!" I said, and turned on a heel to walked back up stairs, only to spin 360° around and ended up in the same position facing Utau. I sighed.

"So, do you need any help-

"Do you love Ikuto?" she asked blankly.

"Geh!" was all I said, and I starred at her with shocked eyes.

"Well?" she said, eyeing me with her evil eyes.

I starred at her, I could feel my face heating up.

I heard her sigh, a sigh that said 'Fine, you brought this upon yourself'

"Iku-

I slammed my hand over her mouth.

"Shhh!" I hissed at her. I waited for foot steps, but I guess Ikuto was still up stairs. Although my answer was probably obvious to her by now, I just barely admitted it to myself, now her, but Ikuto, too! No way!

Utau smirked at me, and I gave her a pleading look, and I felt her close her mouth.

"So?" she said.

"What?" I asked her.

"Say it." she said.

What? Me making my answer obvious isn't enough for her? She wants me to say it out loud!

"Really?" I asked pleadingly.

She nodded.

I sighed, saddened, that she was going to make me say it.

"Yes" I said. There I said it, well, not really, but I answered her question, so that has to be good enough…

"Yes what?" she asked. No. Why was she doing this to me?

"Y-yes I…" I paused and looked up at her, she waved me on. "I…Love, Ikuto…" I said pausing a lot.

"Good" Utau said, patting my head like a dog.

"Hey!" I yelled at her and knocked her hand a way playfully. I could feel my face was totally red, but I felt so relieved to get that off my chest, I didn't care.

"Okay, now for the best part" I heard Utau said, and my smile slowly disappeared into a confused look.

"W-what?…" I asked, confused.

"Sorry, Amu, but, it must be done, sooner or later, and frankly, he has waited long enough, I am gonna go for it now" she told me, giving my an apologetic smirk.

I starred her wide eyed, her plan slowly dawning on me.

"W-wait, Utau, what are you gonna do?" I asked, worried.

"Ikuto!" Utau called "Amu wants to talk to you!" she yelled up stairs to Ikuto.

I felt my heart skip a beat.

"Utau!" I yelled at her.

"Sorry, don't worry, I am sure you'll be happy soon! Even if you're embarrassed now!" she said.

"What?" I heard Ikuto's voice from upstairs. It felt like my heart was gonna leap out of my chest.

Utau started walking upstairs to Ikuto.

"Amu needs to tell you something" I heard Utau tell Ikuto.

No! No, no, no! I was so not ready for this! I am contemplating running out the door! But then she might tell him and I'll have to face him! Ah! I, I can't do this! It's to soon, so embarrassing!

"Amu, what's up?" I heard Ikuto ask me. I jumped and looked up at him.

Well, at least he had a shirt on, now… But, it was so embarrassing, my face felt so hot. I stayed silent.

So I stood there, in front of Ikuto, blushing like a mad idiot. My heart was beating terribly fast. I looked down at my feet, unable to speak.

_Ehehe! How did you like it? I know I enjoyed typing it! Sorry If I am kind of rushing it! I don't want to make you guys wait as long as last time! XDX I wonder how I should end it? Oh! I need to finish the other story of mine, too.. Then I need to start typing a new one! 3 XD_

_Anyway, I will start typing again soon! Please review! =D 3_


	9. 9 Dreams

_**Ehehe… I know I have some explaining to do… But explained it after the story! So I hopey ou enjoy this chapter… Sorry for the inconvinience! 3 you guys! Ahahaha but…**_

_**THIS IS NOT THE LAST CHAPTER ANYMORE SO DON"T WORRY IT ISN"T SOME SU- I'm NOT GONNA TELLYOU THAT PART ACTUALLY XD But anyways, this isn't the last chapter anymore, so don't panic.**_

_***Flashback***_

"_Amu, what's up?" I heard Ikuto ask me. I jumped and looked up at him._

_Well, at least he had a shirt on, now… But, it was so embarrassing, my face felt so hot. I stayed silent._

_So I stood there, in front of Ikuto, blushing like a mad idiot. My heart was beating terribly fast. I looked down at my feet, unable to speak._

***End of Flashback***

Dreams…

This could not have been any more awkward or embarrassing. I hated Utau so much right now, loathed her… How could she put me in a situation like this? I'm not ready! I wanted to tell him when _I _was ready, not because she was bored and wanted entertainment!

It seemed there was no end to this awkward silence…

Aggravated, Utau broke it.

"Tch, well I'll be going out now, buh bye." Utau said and walked out the door

_(A/N for the Umpteenth time! Sorry, I don't mean to send her out so much, but, IDK I just feel she shouldn't be with them when they are have there moments! *o* XD)_

Ikuto and I starred at the door, waiting for something to happen.

I glanced at the clock.

_(A/N I can't remember what time it was soooo… let's just say it is 8pm, 'Kay? Kay. Good! XD)_

"Oh *yawn* would you just look at the time! Well, I should be getting to bed now! Okay bye!" I quickly said and bolted up the stairs.

"O-oi! Amu, what's going on?" I heard Ikuto call after me and I could hear his foot falls tagging along behind me up the stairs.

'_Crap!_ 'I said to myself, why was always stuck in these situations? I sighed internally.

I hopped up the last step and sprinted towards my room. It was only when I was reaching for the door handle did it hit me. Even if I were to lock it, Ikuto could still get in with that stupid key! Damn it! Oh well! I didn't have time to go and search for it without getting caught.

I grabbed the doorknob and used it to propel myself into the room, and slammed it shut behind me, or, at least_ tried_ to.

Unfortunately, I had not been quick enough, and Ikuto had had time to stick his foot in the doorway.

"Ah! Get you foot out of my door!" I told him.

"Now, why would I do that?" he asked me.

"Because…" I was about to say '_because you love me' _but I could tell that would end badly… so I went with "Because… J-just go away! I don't want to talk to you right now!" I told him, maybe raising my voice to high. He looked at me, his eyes full of shcok, then switched to sorrow, and I soon detected a hint of anger in them right before he turned are and walked off.

I stood by the door, listening to his footsteps. I heard him walk downstairs, then heard the front door slam, and listened to the sound of his car start up and race down the road until it faded into the distance.

I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair.

"Ugh, what did I just do?" I asked myself, the guilt hitting me hard, his last expression burnt into my memory.

I collapsed on my bed and buried my face into my pillow. What am I gonna do?

'_Honestly, Amu, you didn't have to be so mean about it… It's not his fault you're a stubborn, shy, stupid girl who is to afraid to show her feeling to people. Seriously! Ugh! Would it really had been that hard to just tell him how you felt? I mean, we are both adults, I am sure he wouldn't make that big a deal about it! Damn it! Why am I such an idiot!'_ I thought to myself.

Regret was mixing in with my guilt as I thought about al the ways I could have just told him the truth…

And now he is probably pissed that I pushed him away… God! I can't even stand myself right now, I want to go die…

"What am I gonna do?" I asked out loudly. I turned over a looked up at the ceiling.

"Damn it…" I sighed and closed my eyes.

I thought about it for a little bit, but then finally decided I would wait for Ikuto to come home a just kind of wing it.

I sat down on the front lawn in the green, itchy grass. I picked out peieves of it for a bit, and after about half an hour, I saw Ikuto's car pulling up the street. I pushed myself off the ground and watched him pull into the driveway, when he noticed me, his face went from being blank to agitated.

_Damn… still angry…_

He got out of his car and slammed the door behind him. Not even bothering to glance in my direction, he walked straight to the front porch. He opened the door and strode on in.

"Hey, wait a second!" I called after him right when he closed the door.

I ran up the steps and open the front door, and saw him walk up the stairs and I quickly ran to catch up with him, but he was already in his room by the time I was half way up the stairs. I walked over to his door, and hesitated, but then knocked on the door lightly.

"O-oi, Ikuto, can I talk to you?" I asked him through the door.

I waited but he didn't reply.

"Oi…" I called out again. He remained silent still. I knew there was only one last option. Whine until he gets so annoyed he has to shut me up. I took a deep breath.

"Iiiiikkkuuttooooooo" I said in one long breath, raising and lowering the pitch of my voice to annoy him further. I heard foot steps walking slowly across the floor and stop at the door. So it had worked, but why was he just standing there. I sighed, and took another deep breath.

"Ii-

The door immediately opened, and Ikuto stood there with an annoyed look on his face.

We looked at each other for a second, and then I realized, I had never actually planned what I was going to say when he answered.

"Go away, I don't want to talk you right now" he said coldly, glaring at my with icy eyes. I was completely shocked. He took one last look at me and shut the door. I stood there, rooted at the spot.

_Those eyes…_

I felt like I just got in the heart. Those words, his voice, his expression… They were all so cold. My eyes began to sting and I ran to my room.

I slammed the door and locked it behind me. I walked over to my bed and flung myself onto the covers. I felt tears falling out of my eyes.

_Was this how Ikuto felt?_

If it was, it just made me cry more… I couldn't believe how badly this had all turned out… and it is all my fault.

I hugged my pillow tightly and sobbed until I was tired, then I eventually drifted off to sleep.

I was dreaming that I woke up in the middle of the night. I glanced around my room and saw someone moving across my room in the dim light.

"Who'ser?"* I asked, my words slurred my sleepiness.

*_She was trying to say 'Who's there?' if you didn't catch it_

The figure stopped, but then spoke.

"S-sorry… I didn't mean to wake you up…" I heard Ikuto's voice tell me.

"Oh, it's you" I said. It was silent for a moment, but then I spoke.

"A-are you still mad?" I asked him, and sat up in bed.

"Actually, that's why I came… I wanted to apologize for earlier…" Ikuto said, and said a few other things, but I ignored them and jumped out of bed.

I figured I wouldn't get a chance to apologize to Ikuto in reality soon, so I figured maybe apologizing in a dream might make me feel a little better.

"I'm sorry, Ikuto." I told him.

"W-what? Why are you..?" he asked.

"About earlier, I told you the same exact thing, and you didn't go and cry about it, and you ended up apologizing, when I should be the one doing it…" I told him, looking at the dark ground.

"A-Amu? Why are you acting like this-

I walked up to Ikuto and wrapped my arms around him.

"I'm really, really so sorry…" I told him, apologizing as much as I could.

"A-are you okay?" he asked me, confused.

"About earlier…" I said to him, hoping I could practice as much as I could in this dream, "what I wanted to tell you, was that…" I took a deep breath. "I love you…" I said and buried my face deeper into his chest and stayed there for a few moments.

"Ah! See, why can't it be that easy in real life?" I asked out loud. "How are hard is it to say three little words? Why am I saw weird!" I asked myself random questions, and then collapsed on my bed and dug under the covers. I let out al ong sigh and waited to drift into my next dream.

I didn't hear Ikuto leave, but I planned he probably just disappeared, since in dreams, carzy things happened, but then I heard footsteps running towards me.

"Wait! Wake up!" Ikuto shook me awake, even though I already knew he was there, I felt more awake suddenly, but still very tired, and it was still dark outside… how strange…

"Wah! I-Ikuto! What are you doing in here?" I asked him… Could it be my dream was coming true? No way, he was being to pushy… This was definitely not a dream…wait…but…

"Right now, what did you just say?" Ikuto demanded.

"What are you talking about?" I asked him sleepily.

"R-right now, you just…" he said, confused.

I thought about my situation… Could that… Not have been a dream! Did that seriously happen! Now way! But- but -but… No! This can't be happening!

"Crap! Now this guy can read minds? God, this guy is just great!" I said loudly, trying to sound extremely tired so that he would think I was sleep talking, so I could at least have the rest of the night to think things over… I can't believe I actually said those things!

I put my face into my pillow and listened intently for any movements, and I heard him sigh, and walk towards the door. I was holding my breath, and when I heard him walk out, I let out a long sigh…

What was I going to do? This day was to crazy…

Just then, my door opened up just a few inches and Ikuto's head popped in.

"You know, I am not stupid, so I'm not letting this go… So be prepared to face some…interrogations, in the morning" he said, and then walked out once more.

My eyes lay open in shock.

_I-interrogation? _What does he mean by that?

I sighed into my pillow again and let out a frustrated groan. I then heard laughter coming from Ikuto's room.

I glared out the door in the direction of Ikuto's room.

"You know, I could always come in no!" he called out to me, feeling my piercing stare on him, this made my heart skip a beat and I dashed under the covers.

_There is know way I am getting back to sleep tonight…_

_**Okay! SO I guess you could say I have some explaining to do… Ehehe…**_

_**Okay, so, I couldn't stand the last chapter I typed, it was so short, and it was gonna be the last chapter, and I just didn't like, but I had already published it, and so, sorry if you were disappointed because you clicked the link and there was no chapter! T0T**_

_**Anyways… So I re-did and posted this instead, so I think this story should be over soon…**_

_**Anyways… Thanks for putting up with my idioticness! **_**m( _ _ )m**

**Okay, so yeah…**

**Please review and I will try to get the next chapter out ASAP**


	10. 10 Bingo!

_Okay! So, sorry if this is late, I have homework and I am tired =-=_

_Anyways… I still need to figure out how to end this… I won't be happy if it ends badly… ¬¬_

_*sigh* I should probably figure it out soon…_

_XD_

_OMG Guess what? Okay, so my mom found this giant catipillarzilla in our yard and it made a cocoon… ON THE GROUND! OMG I hope it's not dead! XD Ahahaha sorry, random thought! XD_

_Ah! My internet just shut off! And now I just turned back on! XD Random! Aha_

_Okay, okay… I will let you read now! ;) Review please! ^-^_

_Edit: lol I wrote this like 3 weeks ago, and now the catapillarzilla is in a chrysalis thing, and since it was so fat, it made one in the ground… Not sure if it is alive or not… let's hope so! XD =D_

_***Flash back***_

_My eyes lay open in shock._

_I-interrogation? What does he mean by that?_

_I sighed into my pillow again and let out a frustrated groan. I then heard laughter coming from Ikuto's room._

_I glared out the door in the direction of Ikuto's room._

"_You know, I could always come in now!" he called out to me, feeling my piercing stare on him, this made my heart skip a beat and I dashed under the covers._

_There is no way I am getting back to sleep tonight…_

_***End of Flash back***_

Bingo!

I sighed and rolled on to my other side, but no matter what position I was in, I couldn't even get close to falling asleep. Today's events had just been so insane, I couldn't even register it all, so my mind was so pre occupied trying to understand it, so I couldn't go to sleep. I just looked up at the ceiling waiting to get even the slightest bit tired, and after 20 minutes, I wasn't sleepy, and my eyes were burning. Aggravated, I smothered my face into my pillow and just lay on my face, and it actually crossed my mind for a second, that if I try to suffocate myself, I might be able to make myself faint, but I knew that would probably end badly. Giving up on that plan, I just rolled back onto my back and closed my eyes, defeated.

My eyes lazily fluttered open and I saw that the light coming from my window had woken me up. I didn't actually remember falling asleep, but, at least I wasn't staring around my room all night. My stomach suddenly did a flip as I realized what was going to happen today. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I had no idea how I was going to handle Ikuto. Absolutely no clue. I sat up and swung my legs over the edge of my bed. Instead of getting up, I just buried my face in my hands, at the end of my rope. I glanced over at the clock on the night table, reading 8:00am, meaning Ikuto was probably already awake, or waking up soon, giving me no chance to get out of the house, although, he probably didn't even go to sleep last night… Well, maybe Utau could at least give me more time and talk with Ikuto- but then I remember, Utau had left last night leaving in the house with Ikuto. Alone. Oh. God. I. am so. Screwed!

"Ugh!…" I groaned loudly, but then immediately covered my mouth, listening for any other noises.

There was nothing. I was sort of surprised, I figured Ikuto would run into my room by now and question me. I sat at the edge of my bed, confused. I really, _really_, didn't want to go out there, but I also really, _really_, had to use the bathroom… Well, it was only down the hall… But that would also be plenty of time for him to snatch me up…

I waited for about another ten minutes, and after not hearing anything, I couldn't take it anymore.

I slowly got off of my bed and tip-toed to the door. I slowly pushed the knob in to unlock it, and waited a few seconds to see if there was anyone outside my door. With only silence I took one more deep breath and flung the door open and ran to the bathroom and immediately shut the door, but quietly.

I was shocked. I couldn't believe he wasn't waiting outside in the hall to ambush me.

I leaned against the door and slid to the ground, letting out a sigh on the way. I put my face in my hands once again. I couldn't just dart from room to room for the rest of my life, I couldn't hide this from Ikuto forever, because eventually, even if I avoided him, Utau would definitely tell him. But even if that was true, I still couldn't even think of what would happen if I went out there. I slowly got up and ran my fingers through my hair and sighed.

(_A/N You guys don't really need me to go into Amu's bathroom time do you? XD Good)_

I washed my hands and just let the water run threw my finger tips. I cupped my hands together and splashed my face with water, hoping to knock some sense into myself. What would I do once I went outside? What would _he_ do once I left the safety of the bathroom? This whole thing… Augh! Why didn't I just realize that I wasn't dreaming last night! Seriously! I can't control myself in my dreams, and they fell different, so why was I so stupid to have said those things to Ikuto! I pulled at my hair, frustrated. I heard my stomach grumble and knew that I had to eat, and that I couldn't put it off for much longer. I mean, I guess, I could just go down stairs and eat breakfast, and try to act like nothing happen, I highly doubt that would work, but it was the only chance I could think of if I wanted to put this off.

I hesitantly put my hand on the door knob, and just left it there for a few minutes. I could do this, I just have act cool, like Ikuto, he is always so good at handling these situations, he never panics, he just goes straight to the source…

Isn't it kind of strange though, that Ikuto hasn't come to interrogate me yet… He has never been the kind to wait, he just goes for it, but what could that mean…? There was know way that I was _actually_ dreaming last night, it was way to real…

I gripped the handle tightly in my frustration, I turned it and the door was open. I was exposed. I stood there, frozen, waiting for something to happen. My eyes were wide open as I glanced in every direction, waiting. Nothing happened. All I could hear was my heartbeat slowly decreasing. Was this a trap? Was he going to wait until I was defenseless, and then go in for the kill…? I would never know unless I did something, so I took one step out of the bathroom.

Nothing. I took one more step to I was a full two feet away from the safety of the bathroom, that gave Ikuto plenty of time to ninja over hear and corner me, but there was still nothing.

I looked around, skeptical, but then slowly advance towards the stairs silently.

Every time I walked past a door, open or closed, I braced for him to jump out of one of them and get me, but by the time I got to the top of the stairway, there was no sign of him. I knew I shouldn't be letting my guard down, but I slowly started to relax as I walked down the stairs.

I heard a loud yawn and froze. I had know idea where it had come from, and I had no idea on what I should do, so I just waited, and then I saw something move.

Ikuto was lying down on the couch downstairs, and it looked like he was just starting to wake up. My heart was beating quickly as I waited for him to do something.

I watched him sit up and when he began to get up I ducked. I was squatting on the stairs and I listen to him get up, walk a little bit, and then I heard him plop back down on the couch. I heard static, and then people talking. Did he… turn on the T.V.? What the heck! Why is he turning on the T.V. at a time like this!

I got off the ground and started walking down the stairs, and when I was almost to the bottom, I had know idea what I was doing and I abruptly stopped, seeing if he would turn around, and he didn't. I sighed internally, slightly relieved, and slightly… annoyed?

I finished walking down the stairs and walked into the kitchen, extremely confused as to what was going on.

I walked over to the pantry, and got on my tip-toes to open it and I was planning on grabbing a pop tart or something, but I was not planning that the cabinet door would be so squeaky. I jumped at it's loudness, and I knew Ikuto had to have heard, and he did. I watched him, panicking, as he got off the couch and turned around. My heart skipped a beat when I made eye contact with him. I starred at him, wide eyed, waiting for something to happen. He just looked at me groggily, then, as if something clicked he said:

"Oh! It's you," He was acting as if he didn't know who I was.

"U-u-umm, y-yeah, who did you th-think it was?" I asked, extremely panicked.

"Oh, I wasn't exactly sure… I didn't get that much sleep last night." he told me. "Why did you look so shocked a second ago" he asked me.

"O-o-oh! U-um, I, I… I didn't know you were there, so you s-scared me!" I told him, giving he a terrible excuse.

"Oh… Sorry…" he said.

"N-no It's fine!" I told him. I was being way to jumpy. I turned back to the pantry, my face was heating up. Why wasn't he saying anything!

I reached up to grab a pop tart, but is was just out of my reach. I sighed, and shakily climbed onto the counter to grab one. I stuck my hand in he box and started pulling one out.

"Hey, can you get me one, too" Ikuto asked. His abrupt question startled me and I jumped, hitting my head on the top of the cabinet, and I felt myself slipping off the counter.

_Crap! One of these situations could _not_ happen now!_

But of course it did.

Before I could hit the floor, I felt myself land is Ikuto's protective arms. I kept my eyes shut tight for a moment, but I hesitantly opened them and sure enough, Ikuto was staring at me with eyes full of concern, but his smirk almost over powered them.

"What would you do with out me?" he asked me, smirking, apparently back to teasing me, and this made me blush more. I blinked, very uncomfortable to be in his arms, because if I was in his arms, I knew there was no way I could get out. I answered his question, hoping he would release me.

"I would probably be dead" I told him. He chuckled and then, just as I hoped for, he released me. I sighed in relief.

"You're such a klutz…" he told me as he bent down to pick up the pop tarts that had come crashing down with me. I glared at him.

"You know, I can feel you glaring at me," he told me.

The moment from last night popped into my head, when I had been glaring at him threw the door, and I immediately looked away.

He set two packages of pop tarts on the counter and but the rest back up in the cupboard.

"Here," he said and tossed one of them at me, and I caught it, still worried that at any moment this whole situation could turn around.

"Wow, you actually caught something, for once." he said, and I turned back to him, about to protest, but he had already started walking back to the couch. I sighed… Same as always…

I stood in the middle of the kitchen, not exactly knowing what to do. Do I go sit down with Ikuto? Or eat in the kitchen? Or-

"Are you going to come and sit down or what?" Ikuto asked me from the couch.

My heart skipped another beat.

"Uh, y-yeah!" I called out to him, not knowing what I was doing.

I walked over to the couch and stood in front of it, eyeing. Wait for ropes or chains to come out and bind me to it.

"What are you doing?" Ikuto raised an eyebrow at me. I blinked and without answering him, I sat down, I wasn't sitting right next to him, but I wasn't far away from him, maybe a foot away.

I nibbled on my pop tart, nervous. _What was going to happen? Is he plotting?_ So many thoughts and ideas were running threw my mind right now, I wasn't even paying attention to anything. Even though the T.V. was on, it still felt like I was surrounded in and awkward atmosphere.

"Listen, Amu, about last night," Ikuto started.

I jumped out of my seat. My eyes were wide open, my heart was racing and my face was bright red. Was he finally going to interrogate me?

"What's wrong with you?" he asked me, slightly worried.

"Uh, n-nothing! I- I thought I saw a spider!" I spit out quickly, the only excuse that came to my head.

"Are you still embarrassed about last night?" he asked me, and a smirk appeared across his face.

"Why would I be embarrassed? I mean, I was kind of upset and hurt that you were so cold to me, but I did the same thing so I shouldn't really have been like that…" I let my sentence fade out.

Ikuto got up off the couch and looked at me, crossing his arms.

"That's not what I was talking about." he told, smirking more.

"W-what…?" I asked, so very confused. What was he talking about? Last night, in my room, that was dream…

"Well," he started, putting one hand on his chin, as if he was trying to remember something "if I recall, you did tell me that you loved." he said, smirking more and more.

I just looked at him, overwhelmed.

"You just came out there and said it to me, I never knew you had become so open" he told me, reminding me of last night.

Ikuto slowly began walking towards me, and every step he took forward, I went back one, and I knew I was slowly being cornered.

"W-what are you talking about?" I tried to cover myself up. I was completely turned around.

Last night was_ not_ a dream. Ikuto being Ikuto decided to embarrass me as much as he could before I spilled the truth. This whole time, he had known about last night, and just pretended it never happened to drive me crazy, and for me to become defenseless, just as I thought he would, but I never once thought he would use this strategy.

"You know _exactly_ what I'm talking about, there is absolutely _no_ way you are getting out of this one, Amu…" Ikuto told me, smirking evilly…

I knew there was no way out of this. I had known that since he walked out of my room last night. I waited for it, braced for it. When it didn't come on full blast, that was when I fell into his trap.

He slowly continued walking towards me, and I just continued to back away from him, but just one of his steps covered two of mine easily, and I knew if I didn't hit a wall soon, he would catch up to me.

Then I finally felt my back make contact with a wall and I flinched, knowing that this was the end, and I was done for.

I let out a sigh of defeat and looked at the ground, watching as Ikuto's feet closed in. When he was only a few steps away, I closed my eyes, not wanting to look at him. I heard him place one arm on one side of me, and his other arm on the other side, blocking off my only chance of escape.

I took a deep breath, and still looking at the ground, I opened my eyes slightly. I

"E-everything that happened last night…" I started speaking, feeling the blood rush up to my face, as well as Ikuto's smirk increasing with every word I spoke, "was real, wasn't it?" I said in a whisper. I waited for him to respond, my limbs were shaking because I was so nervous, even though I knew what he would say.

"Bingo…"

_Oh! I loved writing that chapter! 3 Oh it was so much fun! I am so sorry for the late release, I could come up with anything and I _still_ don't know how I am going to end this, but it is obviously going to be ending so, whether it be the next chapter I release or a few more, who knows! *o*_

_I actually wrote two different versions of this chapter, the first one, Ikuto was going to remember last night, but I could really come up with anything good except for when Ikuto knocked on her door and said "good morning sunshine" but that didn't really fit, so then this idea popped into my head that Ikuto would remember last night, but would let Amu think he didn't and then trap her, mahahaha! XD Anyways… Don't know when the next chapter will be out, I have three big English projects do on Friday that I have been procrastinating XD And I am going to be busy next weekend soooo… Who knows! XD_

_Please review! And Happy Halloween!_


	11. 11 Loop

_Hey everyone! I am SO SORRY for such a late update! I have had let me count, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8+ ideas on how to end this story! So many great ideas, wasted because I couldn't do anything off of them once I got to a certain point! So please excuse my lateness! But hey! __**This final chapter came out around Christmas! It is like an early Christmas present… Because I totally planned it that way, yeah definitely… ¬ ¬ 8) (EDIT: I lied, it came out way later, TTOTT SORRY!)**_

_**Anyways, this is the final chapter to this story, so I hope you enjoy it =)**_

_**Thanks for reading! I will plan on coming out with a new story soon, it will be sad TTOTT, and this time I will try to plan ahead so you don't have to wait as long for chapters ^^.**_

_All the __**bold**__ above is a lie. It didn't come out any time around Christmas, and it is __**not **__the final chapter! But I still hope you enjoy it anyway, and after I finish it, I will start a new story soon ^_^_

_Anyways, enjoy! Kikikikiki…_

_**Flashback**_

"_E-everything that happened last night…" I started speaking, feeling the blood rush up to my face, as well as Ikuto's smirk increasing with every word I spoke, "was real, wasn't it?" I said in a whisper. I waited for him to respond, my limbs were shaking because I was so nervous, even though I knew what he would say._

"_Bingo…"_

_**End of flashback**_

Loop

Then there was silence. Silence that seemed to last hours, and with every passing second, my face got hotter and hotter. I refused to look up. I didn't want to see his face. I didn't want him to see _my_ face.

"Amu~," Ikuto said in sing-song voice. My breath caught in my throat and I froze. My heart was racing.

Suddenly I felt icy fingers on the nape of my neck. My eyes widened and I was to surprised to move.

"You're all red," Ikuto started, "is there something you want to tell me?" He asked me, smirking. When he finished that sentence, time unfroze and I gained back the use of my body. I put my hands on his chest and pushed him away. He 'stumbled' backwards and fell over the arm of the couch and landed back first on the couch, laughing. My eyes were glued to him. I felt like that animal that was about to be captured by the hunter, and the animal knows it's coming, and just wants to get it over with, but a sudden snap of a twig prolonged the inevitable fate.

I edged my way around the couch to get a better look at him, and plan out my escape route. I waited for him to stop laughing, and when he was just chuckling slightly, I spoke,

"W-why are you laughing?…" I asked, glaring at him with suspicious eyes. He looked at me and sat up, this made me take a step back.

"You're so gullible!" he said, smiling. I tilted my head sideways, squinting at him.

"G-gullible… Wha… What are you talking about?" I asked him, shaking my head.

"Wow, don't tell me you are _that_ gullible? Or maybe I should use the word stupid?" Ikuto said, teasing me.

I thought. I filed through everything that has happened in the past few days and found nothing, nothing that could have made me 'gullible'.

"What the heck are you talking about!" I demanded, frustrated.

Ikuto put his face in his hands. He sighed and rose up from the couch, and started to walk towards me. My eyes widened with every step he took, and when he was standing right in front of me, he flicked me in the forehead.

"I was teasing you, idiot," he told me. He looked at me for another second and started to walk away. My jaw dropped.

"What! What do you mean you were 'teasing' me!" I yelled at him.

"What do you mean? I do it all the time? What did you think I was doing?" he asked, turning around to face me.

I blinked at him, trying to understand what had just happened.

"B-but last night, I said… didn't I?" was I really dreaming? No, that was impossible, because he knew what I was talking about.

"Yeah, I know what you said," Ikuto told me, his face slowly losing all emotion, the laughter all but gone. "But you were half asleep, you didn't know what you were saying," he paused. "There is now way you would ever say that in real life," he finished. He started walking towards the stairs, but then turned around to look at me.

"I can't believe after all these years you still fall prey to my teasing," he said, sticking his tongue out at me and laughing as he walked up stairs.

"I'm going to take a shower, so don't get any funny ideas, pervert," he called down to me.

I didn't know what to do. How could I have come so close, yet so far?

"Wait!" I called out after him. Ikuto's head popped over the edge of the stairway.

"What?" he asked. I paused, not really sure why I called after him.

"I…" I started. I starred into his eyes, and saw he seriously thought this was all a big joke. "I hope you drown in that shower!" I yelled at him. He laughed and continued walking back up the stairs.

I waited, and when I heard the bathroom door shut, I collapsed.

"Ugh…" I put my face in my hands. _Why did it have to happen this way? It would have been so much easier if things had just ended here and all secrets were out._

_Why did life have to be so difficult? Well, then again, I shouldn't expected everything to come so easily with almost no work on my part… But what will I do? I couldn't just tell Ikuto randomly that I loved him, he wouldn't believe me… Ugh! I am so stupid! How could I have fallen for that stupid trick! Well, it was more then usual… maybe he was actually hoping to get something out of me… That persistent perv! What am I doing? Trying to blame this on Ikuto! But if I didn't tell him now, how was I ever going to tell him!_

All these questions and more ran through my head will I sat there on the floor. Every time I came up with a solution, I found a flaw. Every plan would surely be a failure. No matter what I did, there was no way to fix this situation! I banged my head against the floor, curled up into a ball and clutched my chest. I really thought I would finally be able to tell him how I felt this time. I shut my eyes tightly and felt tears spilling out. I re opened my eyes and sat up. _Why-why was I crying?_ I asked myself, and I wiped away my tears, which persistently spilled over. I stood up, a little shaky and walked over to a mirror strung on the wall. My eyes were full of tears and they were streaming down my face. I felt so sad. Was this the feeling of heartbreak? Of rejection? But I hadn't been rejected, had I? He just doesn't think I really love him… Or maybe that was just an excuse and he really didn't love me at all…

I felt fresh new tears spilling over at the same time I hear the shower up stairs stop running. I quickly wiped them away and wiped stray ones off of my face. I fixed my hair, which had become a mess after rolling around on the floor, and after that I looked, for the most part, normal… Just a little tired, yeah, that's what I would tell him.

I walked away from the mirror deciding where I should go before Ikuto got out of the bathroom… I could watch T.V., but he would have heard that I just turned it on, I can't eat anything, I just ate an hour ago… No matter what I did, it looked awkward, or like I was trying to avoid or cover something up. I heard the bathroom door open and a ran to the kitchen table. I picked up a coin of the middle of the table and spun it on the wood surface. It spun and spun then stopped. Then I would re spin it. That was kind of like how my mind felt. Idea, idea, idea, nope. Idea, idea, idea, fail. Idea, idea, idea, not happening. No matter what I did, none of my ideas would work in the long run… I continued to spin the coin frantically, trying to look normal when Ikuto came down.

"You still mad?" Ikuto's voice called from the top of the stair way. I stared back up at him, glaring…

He laughed and walked down the stairs to join me. I tapped my finger on the table, matching his foots steps. He walked over to me and sat down in a chair across the other side of the table.

"You're so stupid," he told me, smirking.

"Why?" I demanded.

"For falling for my tricks," he said, winking at me, I glared at him again.

"Well, I didn't think it was a trick!" I yelled at him. Ikuto laughed loudly.

"And that makes you all the more stupid," he said, and sighed.

There was a short silence, and I tried to come up with something clever but nothing came to me.

"Well, what would you have done if it wasn't a trick?" I asked him. He raised an eyebrow at me.

"What do you mean?" he asked, confused. I sighed.

"Wonder if I really loved you? What would you have done then?" I asked him again. He thought about it for a second, and the answered.

"I would have done the same thing," he replied. I sighed loudly.

"I meant, if I _really_ loved you," I told him, annoyed, and slightly embarrassed. He thought about this question for longer, but then he nodded and looked at me.

"Hmm, I don't really know," he told me, trying to read my face. I looked away and picked up my coin again. I grasped it between my fingers and was about to spin when Ikuto spoke again.

"Why do you ask?" I spun the coin right off the table and watch it slide under the fridge. He knew something was up. I recomposed myself and answered.

"I-it was just a question," I told him, a little more shakily then I had hoped.

"Hmm…" he raised an eyebrow at me and I felt my heart was starting to race faster and my face getting hotter.

There was silence for a while, and I was sure he could hear my heart beating against my chest. I tried to fill the silence, and probably only made matters worse.

"Wonder if you want to tell someone you love them, but you can't?" I asked. Why did I ask it? I don't know, it just slipped out. It was completely irrelevant to the conversation, and I just popped it out there. What was wrong with me? Why dam I so stupid as to say something like that, something that just makes me look like I am hiding something! The time it to Ikuto to answer me felt like it would never end… He was probably thinking about how crazy I was.

"Well, maybe you don't truly love them," he told me. I fiddled my thumbs together.

"But wonder if you are positive that you really love them?" I asked another stupid question. I was sure he knew what I was talking about. He couldn't be that stupid, could he?

"Maybe you love them so much you are afraid to tell them because you fear they won't feel the same way about you," he told me again, his voice monotone, his mind obviously occupied.

"But you love me!" I threw out. "And you can tell me!" I left my mouth open in shock. I did not just say that. There was no way I just let those words come out of my mouth. Ikuto's eyes widened for a moment, not in fear or embarrassment, but wonder. But as soon as the opened, they softened once more.

"How did you figure that out?" he asked, his voice never breaking out stuttering. In fact, he had a small smirk on his face. I wanted to say it was obvious, but that was a lie and I knew it would end badly.

"Umm, Along time ago, you did… And Utau told me," Well, that was the truth, too.

He laughed lightly.

"Well, I can tell you because I know I love you, and I know I won't regret it if I say it," he told me, resting his chin in his hands.

"But wonder if one day you stop loving me?" I asked him, my tone a little to worried. He just smiled and said,

"That will never happen."

There was a short pause.

"But-

"What? Are you afraid that I could hate you?" he cut me off. I almost started, but then I bit my lip and looked away from him. He chuckled.

"Well, even if I didn't love you, I could never hate you," he said, smiling.

"R…really?" I asked, surprised.

"Of course, I love you to much to hate you," he said, smirking. I cocked my head.

"But you just said-

"Amu, I know what I said, and it's true that even if I didn't love you, I couldn't hate you, but I will _always_ love you," he told me. I felt my cheeks turning red. I blinked a few times and then looked away.

"…Th…" I tried to say something.

"What?" he asked. I inhaled deeply.

"Th-thank you," I told him.

"For what?" Ikuto asked.

"For, letting me know that you are there for me," I said, blushing.

"Idiot," he started, and I looked at him. "I will always be there for you," he told me. My eyes widened, and I knew that if I stayed here any longer, all secrets would be out. I pushed my chair back an stood up.

"Amu?" Ikuto stopped me.

"Y-yes?" I asked, slightly paranoid.

"What's with all these questions?" he asked. My fears were answered. He was suspicious.

"They're, they're just-

"They're just questions?" Ikuto finished my sentence for me and stood up as well.

"S-so? Tha-that's what they are! Questions!" I said, trying to pathetically defend myself.

"Pretty strange questions if you ask me," Ikuto said, staring into me eyes.

I started to back up, just like I had only a few minutes before. My eyes were locked on his. I felt my back hit a wall. I still didn't look away from Ikuto. He just stood there, a few feet away, crossing his arms. It was intimidating.

There was a long silence. Neither of us moved. He started walking towards me.

"Amu," he called my name in a voice that made me freeze where I stood. "Are you keeping a secret?" he asked me. I gulped loudly.

"M-maybe," I told him, my voice shaky. He closed the last few steps between us, and he was right in front of me.

"What is it?" he asked. I stayed silent, I couldn't bid the words to leave my lips. I looked down and he put his arms on either side of me. I could see his smirk out of the corner of my eye.

"Do you want to tell me, _but you can't_?" he asked, mimicking me from earlier. My heart stopped for a moment, and I didn't speak. Every new question he asked made my heart beat faster and the blood rise up to my face more.

"Amu," he pause for a long time… I closed my eyes, and I could feel his breath on my face when he spoke. "Do you love me?" he finished.

I was sure all the blood in my body must have risen to my face by now, but somehow I could feel it get redder. I couldn't have spoken if I wanted to. He waited for me to speak. I didn't say a word. I didn't even breath.

"Say it," he told me. This might have been worse then when he asked me if I loved him, because I could have just nodded my head, or even said yes, but not this time. He wanted me to say it, and I knew I couldn't leave until I did. I took in a shaky breath and tried to will noise to come out of my mouth.

"I…I…" I tried to say, but it just wouldn't come out. He was waiting for me to say it, and this time it was the real deal. Even _I _could tell this wasn't a trick.

"Ikuto…" I inhaled and exhaled again. "I… love you…" I barely managed to say the last word, but I did, and I felt like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. Even though I was still in this situation, it was over, I was free, there was nothing else he could do. He could hug me, he could say it back, he could even kiss me. Was there anything wrong with any of those? Not one. I almost smiled. Then I felt Ikuto's cheek brush against lightly against mine and he whispered two words into my ear,

"Prove it."

_¬¬ Ehehehehe_

_Are you happy with me? Or are you still angry that I got this chapter out really late? If you are, I shall make you feel guilty, because we had a Korean exchange student living with us for a few weeks and they left two days ago, and I was still depressed when I wrote this…_

_You mad? X) trolololo_

_Just kidding (About the troll thing, we really did have a Korean student, and I am sad TT^TT)_

_This chapter feels like it went in a circle, in the beginning she is trapped by Ikuto, and in the end, she is again! X) Maybe that's why I called it Loop =)_

_Anyways, you shouldn't have to wait to long for the next chapters, because I did you all a favor and planned out the rest of the story before I typed this ^_^_

_Well, I hope you enjoyed this second epic cliff hanger story twist I did… ehehe…_

_Please review and thanks for reading! See you at the next chapter!_


	12. 12 What's on Sunday?

_Ollo! (Mwahaha, have you all seen Mega mind? If you haven't, you should w I loved it! So cute!) What'sup? Sorry this chapter didn't come out like, right after the next one, I hade a 2-3 page essay due on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict due, and you'd think because I like writing I would enjoy this, right? Aha, no. =_= Ugh… Then I had homework, and I had to study for 2 tests and a quiz… Ugh, High school is so much work… Spring break needs to come faster 3_

_Hmmm… Any new announcements… Well, I don't think this story is going to be over until sometime around chapter 15 or 16... Hopefully… I have it all planned out, but some how my plans always end up changing… Usually for the better but let's just see how it goes ^_^_

_Oh! And I also noticed that back in chapter five, like, everyone wakes up in the morning, something happens for like, less then ten minutes, and then everyone goes back to bed… My bad… x)_

_Here is chapter 12 'o( ^ _, ^ )o" __ß Like mah new smiley face? My friend showed me how to make a smirk… Like Ikuto ¬_,¬ ehehehe_

**Flashback**

"_Ikuto…" I inhaled and exhaled again. "I… love you…" I barely managed to say the last word, but I did, and I felt like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. Even though I was still in this situation, it was over, I was free, there was nothing else he could do. He could hug me, he could say it back, he could even kiss me. Was there anything wrong with any of those? Not one. I almost smiled. Then I felt Ikuto's cheek brush against lightly against mine and he whispered two words into my ear,_

"_Prove it."_

**End of Flashback**

What's on Sunday?

My smile immediately faded and my eyes popped wide open. I slid away from Ikuto and glared at him with questioning eyes.

"P-prove it?" I asked him. He simply crossed his arms and nodded at me. I gulped.

"H-how? Why? I-isn't this proof enough?" I asked him frantically. After I came out and said I love you, I am expected to prove it to him, too? Was he _trying_ to embarrass me as much as he could before he finally accepted my feelings?

"Well," Ikuto started." For all I know, you could be half asleep," he said to me. He always used that excuse to not believe a word I said. I was so sick of it.

"But I'm not!" I quickly replied, trying to avoid 'proving it'. "I'm wide awake!" I told him. Ikuto pursed his lips and looked at me. What would it take for him to believe me?

"But your eyes are red," he said. This caught me by surprise. "So don't trying to tell me that you aren't tired," he finished. I starred at him in silence for a moment. I was hurt that he couldn't tell that I had been crying, and just mistook me red eyes as being tired. As much as I just wanted to give up, and just cry more, I knew that I had to prove my feeling for him, and I realized that this might be my last and only chance to do it.

"…I'm not tired…" I said quietly. I could feel that my emotions were starting to go haywire again.

"Really? You can't tell me you were actually able to get a decent amount of sleep last night after what I said to you? You were probably up all night wondering what was going to happen, correct?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. I can't believe he really didn't believe me.

"I didn't sleep…" I said, not looking at him.

"Exactly," he replied.

"But that doesn't mean I'm tired," I told him when he was just barely finished talking. He starred at me curiously.

"Then what _does_ it mean?" He asked. I sighed, not sure how to put it. He took my silence as my surrender.

"See? You are trying to think up and excuse," he told me. He walked past me, heading towards the stairs. Just as he was putting his hand on the railing, I turned to face him and spoke.

"Wait!" I yelled after him, trying to build up the courage to speak. He stopped and looked at me.

"Wo-wonder if I cried?" I stopped him in his tracks.

"What?" he asked me, puzzled. I gulped again.

"Did I stutter?" I asked. I know that I did, but it was just the first thing that came out of my mouth. Ikuto was silent, like he was waiting for some kind of explanation. I sighed shakily, knowing that if I didn't say it now, and fast, the tears would spill out once more and I wouldn't be able to tell him.

"A-after you walked up stairs…I…I cried…And that's why my eye are red…" I said softly, not wanting to raise my voice more then I had to. Ikuto took a step towards me.

"Why?" he asked, still confused.

"Well… You… You laughed and said that I would never tell you that I love you in real life… I-I took that to heart, and to me… You made it sound like," I paused, trying to recompose myself, because I knew I was about to lose it. "You made it sound like, _we_ could never happen in real life…" I felt myself break, and I was sure he noticed. I felt a tear roll down my cheek and I looked down, not wanting him to see me cry.

"A-Amu?" he asked, and I saw him take another cautious step towards me. I saw one of my tears hit the floor. It made a small but distinct _pat_ noise. I bit my lip, trying to hold them in, but I knew it was useless. I heard Ikuto sigh and I watched his feet make there way towards me. He wrapped me in a hug and said,

"I believe you," I could hear a warm smile in his voice, but I didn't dare look up to see it, I just wanted to hide my face. I remember clutching onto his T-shirt repeatedly saying 'I'm not tired, I'm not tired," over and over again, but then, as Ikuto guessed, I really was very tired from last night, so I guess I fell asleep after that…

My eyes opened ever so slightly, and orange sunlight shone on them. I sighed internally. It must be around 5 o' clock. I was about to get up when everything flooded back into my mind. I immediately scanned everywhere I could without moving or opening my eyes to much. I saw I was lying down on the couch while Ikuto sat down next to me, watching T.V. with subtitles. I closed my eyes again, hoping he didn't notice I was awake, which was of course, inevitable.

"I know you're awake," he told me, but I kept my eyes closed, hoping he was maybe just saying that every few minutes to see if I was awake or not. He waited for me to respond, and when I didn't, he went on. "Utau's home," he said. I almost jumped off the couch, ready to make a run for, Utau go me into this mess, and I new she would question me immensely if she new I was awake. Then it occurred to me. Wonder if she didn't know yet? I took a long breath and asked Ikuto.

"Does she know?" I whispered, blush rising to my face slowly. Ikuto paused, and I opened my eyes slightly and saw a large smirk on his face.

"Knows what?" he asked me. I felt myself blush more as the topic dragged on.

"U-umm…That thing…" I said, hoping he would give me some slack. Again, inevitable.

"What thing?" he asked, amused. I sighed internally.

"The thing that happened this morning…" I said to him, my voice slightly higher then a whisper.

"Oh, you mean how you fell for one of my tricks… again?" he asked me, smiling still.

"The other thing," I said.

"When I took a shower?" he asked, putting his hand on his chin like he was trying to think really hard.

"_After_ that," I said, getting slightly annoyed with him. He thought for a second, but then nodded.

"Ohh, you mean when you cried and fell asleep in my arms?" he asked, turning his head towards me. My eye popped open and I shot up into a sitting position.

"I did _what?_" I asked, maybe a little to loudly. I waited for Ikuto to say something else, but he just wore this innocent little smile,(_something like this ^_^_) but behind it, I could see he had set up a trap, and I had just fallen into it. I starred at him, then it clicked, but by then it was to late.

"AMU!" I heard Utau yell my name from up stairs. My eyes widened more and my heart stopped for a second.

Utau stormed into the room from upstairs and looked around until she found me, and all was silent. I was starring at her like a deer caught in front of a car. She was staring at me like a hunter ready to kill, and Ikuto was just smiling happily. (_Amu= O_O Utau= *_* Ikuto= ^w^)_

Utau walked over to the couch, the world shaking beneath her. She looked down on me, glaring. Then she grabbed my arm, tightly, and pulled me off the couch so I was standing next to her. She waited a few seconds, and then turned to Ikuto."Ikuto, I have tried time and time again to have her tell you herself, but she is to afraid or embarrassed to tell you!" she said loudly. Ugh… Ikuto didn't tell Utau because he wants me to tell him I love him again. That was his plan. That was why he had been trying to aggravate into to speaking loudly.

Ikuto just sat on the couch watching us. Utau turned away from Ikuto and turned her attention back to me.

"Go ahead, Amu; tell him," she told me, her voice dragging on like a snake. I had never seen Utau so terrifying.

"Tell me what?" Ikuto said, pretending to act like he had no idea what was going on. My jaw dropped and I looked at him. He was really going to make me do it. I just glared at him in silence, but Utau took that silence as me being to afraid and embarrassed to tell him, and she grew more frustrated.

"Ugh! You are hopeless!" she told me, putting her hands on both of my arms, like she was giving up. But then she looked at me again. "If you won't tell him, _show_ him!" she said, and pushed me towards Ikuto. I closed my eyes, as I always did when I was falling over. I didn't know what Utau wanted me to do, but when I opened my eyes, I was shocked.

She had pushed me straight into Ikuto's arms. I looked at her, her arms were crossed tightly, scowling at me. I turned to find Ikuto's face, and when I did, I froze. I turned around, and his face was right. There. Only inches in front of my face. I gasped and immediately turned away and started blushing. I tried to push myself out of his arms to no avail. Ikuto started laughing at my useless struggles, I was sure he was also holding onto me, to make sure I didn't escape.

"P-put me down!" I said, trying get out of his arms. I continued to struggle like this, trying new strategies, but all of them failed, and with each failed attempt, Ikuto was laughing more. Then I noticed something very odd. I was smiling and laughing with him. I was confused at first as to why, but then I just gave into my emotions and stopped struggling for the most part, and just laughed with Ikuto. Utau noticed that something was very off, and different.

"W-wait…" she said, looking at us both. We had stopped laughing, smiles lingering on our faces. Ikuto rose off the couch with ease, despite the fact that he was carrying me in his arms. I waited for him to put me down, but he didn't, so I just sat there, awkwardly, listening to them talk.

"When did she tell you?" Utau asked, smiling, the demon that was inside her now gone.

"Only a few hours ago," he replied. Utau pursed her lips.

"So I just missed it…" she said, slightly upset. They were both silent for a moment, so I spoke.

"U-umm…" I started. They both looked at me. I looked at Ikuto and pointed to the floor. He sighed and reluctantly put me down. I straighten my clothes and looked at Utau.

"So… What time is it?" she asked and glance over a clock in the kitchen. It was 6:30pm, so I almost got the time right.

"What did you want for dinner?" she asked us. Ikuto said whatever is fine and then Utau looked at me. I didn't really want to be around them right now. I just wanted to think about everything.

"Uh, I'm actually not that hungry, so I'm just going to go take a shower and go to bed," I told them, nodding a few times.

"Right…" Utau said and Ikuto just chuckled. After that I just made my way upstairs and into my bedroom.

I ransacked my drawers and found a pair of pajamas and went to the bathroom to take a shower.

I set all my clothes on the counter and stripped down. I walked into the actual shower and turned on the water and waited for it to heat up. The shower was the only place I was safe. I could think whatever I wanted and my though would never be interrupted. Ikuto maybe a pervert, but he isn't perverted enough to walk in on me talking a shower.

Once the water was heated up I turned the shower head on let the warm water wash over me, giving me chills. I rinsed my hair and my body quickly, because I couldn't think if I was doing something else. Once that was all done, I could finally think.

I sat on the floor of the shower and put my face in my hands. _It was finally done. Everyone that needed to know I loved Ikuto knew. He loved me back, and I guess we were… together now_?

I stood up. _Were we a couple? I wasn't sure… I mean, we both love each other, and I confessed to him, so doesn't that just kind of happen? Ugh…_

I rest my forehead against the wall of the shower. _I couldn't just _ask_ Ikuto if we were a couple now, could I? No. He would taunt me and embarrass me more, even if it did make things official, it isn't worth it…_ I sighed. _Ikuto, you always make my life so complicated…_ I thought, but it was okay, because I loved having him in my life, I loved him… I leaned closer to the shower wall and touched my lips to it. I held them there for a second, and then I snapped back into reality. _What was I doing! Ikuto would think I was a total perv and would never, _ever_ let me live something like that down if he saw me kissing the wall! P-pretending it was him! B-but I wasn't! I-I just sort of did it, unconsciously…_ I collapsed on the shower floor again. I couldn't believe I just did that _Did I really want to kiss him that badly? I-I don't think so… right? _I sighed and turned the water off, the hot water was making me think crazy things.

I dried off and changed into my pajamas and hung my towel up to dry. I cautiously opened the door, seeing if anyone was waiting for me. I took a step out and looked around. I heard dishes being washed and voices chatting down stairs, the coast was clear and a made my way back to my bedroom.

I put my dirty clothes in the hamper and sat down on my bed. I ran my fingers threw my damp hair and sighed loudly. I collapsed onto my back and stared at the ceiling, thinking. _What would life be like now? Would it go on the same way it always has? Will me and Ikuto be closer? The same? Or more distant?_ I was hoping that we would get closer, or at least stay the same, but I feared that now that everything was out, things might change, and he might treat me differently… I liked Ikuto the way he treated me now, teasing me, saving me, just, always being there… I didn't want any of that to change.

I sat up, frustrated. I looked at my clock, hoping that I could actually fall asleep, but it read 7:45, and I knew that was to early, even if I was tired. So instead I went out onto the balcony for the first time since I moved here.*

*(_Good thing I didn't describe her room at the beginning of the story to much (did I?) that way, I can add anything I want ^_^ Mwahahaha!)_

I opened the glass paneled door and a cool gust of wind greeted me, giving me chills. I stepped out side and embraced the cool air and the starry sky. I walked over to the railing and rest my elbows on it.

"I wonder when the world became so beautiful?…" I thought out loud. All this time, it had always been dull, until I met Ikuto. Slowly my world go more and more colorful, but now it was more vibrant then ever.

I smiled, thinking about everything that happened today. _The tricks, the trapping, and even the tears. If I hadn't cried when I did, Ikuto still might not know… But then again, Utau still would have forced me to tell him, so I guess he would have known today, anyways… _I put my hand on my chest, and smiled more, think about being in Ikuto's arms, laughing, and just being happy to be with him.

"Whatcha smiling about, little pervert?" I heard Ikuto's voice ask me. I turned around and saw him leaning against the door. I wasn't surprised that I didn't hear him, since he always seemed to pop up out of now where.

"You walk into my room without knocking, doesn't that make you the perv?" I challenged him. He smiled and raised an eyebrow.

"Do you really want to go there?" he asked, knowing he could triumph my witty comebacks. I sighed loudly, giving up.

"What do you want?" I asked him, not really knowing what else to say.

"Nothing in particular," he told me, walking up to stand next to me. I rolled my eyes at him.

"Did you want me to leave?" he asked, looking over at me. I blinked, not really knowing what to say. Of course I wanted him to stay, but I wasn't going to tell him that.

"I don't care," I murmured, I could feel myself blushing slightly, but the cool air kept my face from over heating. Ikuto raised an eyebrow and turned around. "You can stay!" I said quickly, biting my lip as soon as I said it, embarrassed. I heard Ikuto laugh and lean against the railing again. I looked away, because I knew I was blushing more now.

"What's the date tomorrow?" Ikuto suddenly asked me.

"U-umm… I think it's Sunday," I told him. I kind of lost track of what day it was after this whole confessing fiasco.

"The _date,_" he said. I bit my lips, realizing that I had given him the day, not date. Stupid, stupid, stupid…

"Oh… It's the 19th," I said. "Why?" I asked, looking at him. He was looking up at the stars.

"I have to go back to work on the 21st," he said, sounding unexcited.

"You have a job?" I asked. I never knew Ikuto actually worked.

"Well yeah, I'm not a lazy pig like you," he said, looking at me now.

"Hey!" I said loudly, glaring at him, but he just went back to looking at the stars, laughing.

"W-where do you work?" I asked him. I don't know why I was afraid to ask, I guess I just felt like I was invading his privacy.

"At a host club*," he said, smirking.

*( _I'm not sure if this is the right name, but basically he is saying that he works at one of those places where he hangs out with women and please them and what not ¬¬)_

"Eh?" I asked, wondering if I should believe him or not. He laughed at me.

"I'm kidding," he said, I glared at him more, but then looked away.

"I repair and sell violins," he said. That sounded more believable.

"Ah, I see," I figured he would end up working with violins. "So, you will be busier now, huh…?" I asked him, saddened.

"Most likely," he said.

I looked down so that he couldn't see my face. I couldn't believe that right after all this happened, we wouldn't be able to see each other as much or spend time together. I sighed internally.

"So it's decided," Ikuto said. I turned to look at him.

"What is?" I asked, wondering if I had missed part of the conversation. He looked at me.

"Tomorrow you are going on a date with me," he said, smirking. I stared at him with wide eyes and uttered one word.

"W-what?"

_Ohoho me and my cliff hangers ^^_

_So this chapter wasn't out as late as the last one! Woot!_

_Ehe!_

_This chapter was titled by my sister, __**Becca**__ because I couldn't think of anything, because I didn't want the title to be the last word said in the chapter because I have used that like three times x)_

_Sorry if there were a lot of typos in this. I was typing some of it at 2am, so I wasn't really paying attention to where my fingers were, just making sure the words were right…_

_So well, I start school again tomorrow, but I have rodeo break this coming weekend! (Rodeo break is only in Tucson, we get Thursday and Friday off because we have a big rodeo… Not that I have ever been to one, they look boring and expensive! O.o_

_Thanks for reading another chapter and putting up with my procrastinating! Because if I'm not procrastinating school work, I am procrastinating something else 8D_

_Please review, if you want to!_


	13. 13 Confrontations

Confrontations

_**Flashback* _

"_Tomorrow you are going on a date with me," he said, smirking. I stared at him with wide eyes and uttered one word._

"_W-what?"_

_**End of Flashback**_

"You heard me," he said, crossing his arms. I stared at him silently for a moment.

"A-a date?" I asked, making sure I heard clearly.

"That's what I said, didn't I?" He told me. Once it hit me what he said, I started blushing. How could he just ask that so calmly? And so soon? I was just staring at him with wide eyes and he laughed.

"Good night Amu," he said, shaking his head as he walked away.

"W-wait!" I called after him, and he turned around to face me right as he reached the door of my bedroom. He was waiting for me to continue. I swallowed and spoke again.

"Um, w-where are we going?" I asked him, blushing more. I knew if I didn't ask now, I would regret it because I would be up all night trying to figure out where it was going to be.

"Hmm…" he paused, looking up for a moment, then back at me, now smirking evilly. "It's a surprise," he said, "but make sure you are ready to leave by nine," he finished, looking at me for a few more seconds and then walked out of my room.

I stood in the doorway of the balcony just staring at the door. I waited to see if he was still out there, waiting for me to have some crazy reaction, and then tell me where we were actually going, but minutes passed and nothing happened. I sighed in defeat and walked back into my room, collapsing face first on my bed. How could he do that to me? He knows I am going to be up all night thinking about tomorrow.

I lay there, pondering tomorrow for at least half an hour, when I heard someone walking towards my room, and I thought for a moment, maybe Ikuto was coming back to stop my suffering and tell me, but in seconds, Utau burst through the door.

"Hey Amu~," she said, walking over to the bed and sitting next to me. I groaned loudly, not wanting to talk with her. "Pretty exciting day for you, huh?" she asked me. I raised my head to glare at her, and she laughed. "But I'm sure you're happy it's done and all secrets are out," she told me. I sighed and got up to sit down next to her instead of lying on my face.

"I suppose," I told her. Of course, I was ecstatic, but I was now so paranoid about tomorrow that I didn't sound like that at all. She gave me a worried look.

"Something wrong?" she asked, her smile fading and turning into a worried frown.

"No! E-everything is fine," I said, giving her a reassuring smile, "Ikuto just, well," I paused, blushing slightly "he said he is taking me on a date tomorrow, and didn't tell me where…" I said in a lower voice, "and now I am so stressed out, wondering where we are going I can't sleep!" I said loudly, falling onto my back on the bed. She laughed again and started smiling.

"Yeah, he told me about that," she said, I sat up quickly and was about to ask her if she knew where we were going but before I could she spoke, "But I don't know where you are going either," she said and I fell back down, sighing and she laughed. We sat in silence for a few moments until she spoke again.

"Thank you, Amu," she told me. I gave her a confused look and sat up.

"For what?" I asked her. She smiled and looked at me.

"Thank you for finally telling him. I'm sorry I was so pushy about it, but you don't know how unbelievably happy you have made him," she told me and I could hear the sincerity in her voice. I stared at her in shock. I had never seen her this serious. I smiled at her.

"I should really be thanking you," I told her, "because you let me stay here, and helped me when I was down, and most of helped me realize how I felt about Ikuto, and now I'm just, well, really happy, too," I told her, smiling wider. She stood up then.

"Well, he'll be happy to hear that," she said, smirking. I looked at her, confused.

"W-what?" I asked her.

"I'm sorry Amu, but your too shy! You are never able to tell him how you feel, so I'll just have to keep pushing you," she said, smirking.

"B-but you can't tell him I said that!" I argued with her.

"So what? You are going to tell him yourself?" she asked me, raising an eyebrow. I opened my mouth to reply, but she was right, there was no way I would just tell him I was happy to be with him, I already confessed to him, and that was enough for now. I turned around and fell face first onto the bed.

"Ugh, just leave," I told her, both frustrated and embarrassed. I heard her laugh and walk towards me.

"Think about," she said in a lower voice, "if he know you are really happy just being with him, then he will want to know how you will react if he does, _other _things," she finished speaking and my head snapped up to look at her.

"O-other things?" I asked frantically. What was she talking about! Other things, what did that mean? Hugging? Holding hands? K-kissing? I heard her laughing.

"Night Amu!" she hollered and bolted out of the room.

I was stuck staring at the door again, waiting for her to reenter, but of course with no avail. _Why did everyone in this house enjoy watching me suffer? _I buried my face back into my bed, my thoughts continuing to swirl for what felt like hours, until I eventually drifted off to sleep.

I woke up in the morning sprawled out across my bed, still in the same position from the night before. I rolled over to see what time it was and sighed when I read that it was only 7:20. I had almost two hours to kill before we had to leave. I thought that maybe if I got up early and got ready, I could make it out of my room without running into anyone. I rolled out of bed and walked towards the door of my bedroom.

Rubbing my eyes, I eyed the door. I really didn't want to go out there. I knew that with my luck, I would exit the room at the same time Ikuto was out there. What would I say? Wonder if Utau told him about last night?

I continued planning out different scenarios for a few minutes before I actually built up the courage to open the door. When I did, I got lucky and didn't see anyone, so I walked to the bathroom as quickly as I could and shut the door behind me, sighing in relief. I looked at myself in the mirror, my hair was a mess and my clothes were all twisted up since I had been lying down in such an awkward position.

I brushed my hair and experimented with different style for a little while, but eventually gave up with trying to do anything fancy, and let it down. I brushed my teeth even though I hadn't had breakfast yet, because I was so nervous, I figured I wouldn't be hungry. After I finished, I listened quietly for any movements outside. Although all was silent, I still cautiously opened the door. I was quite satisfied when I didn't see anyone suddenly walk out of there rooms.

I quickly walked towards my room and when I was just barely touching the door handle when Ikuto's door opened. I cringed, if only I had spent less time eyeing the door…

"Good morning, Amu," He said, and I could hear him smirking.

"G-Good morning," I said quickly without looking at him, opening my door and darting inside. I heard him laughing lightly.

"Remember, 9 o clock," he hollered through the door, and I heard him walking away.

I was leaning against the door, my heart racing. I don't know what I would do if I saw his face. I was so embarrassed about the whole thing, I couldn't even bring myself to turn around and look at him, how was I suppose to face him on the date?

I tried to distract myself by taking as long as possible to get ready. I picked out a few outfits, trying them on over and over, comparing them to each other. I walked over to my full length mirror and looked at myself. I ended up wearing a pair of black shorts, a red quarter sleeve top and black slip-ons. Wasn't to fancy, but not to informal, either.

When I looked at the clock, it only read 8:15. How was I supposed to pass 45 minutes without leaving my room…?

I paced my room for a few minutes, glancing at the clock every 10 seconds, wanting time to pass by faster, but at the same time, go by slowly. What we were going to do on the date? Where were we going? Wonder if Utau told Ikuto about last night and me being happy? Would he mention it? Make fun of me? Say he felt the same? What was going to happen?

I managed to question myself for a good amount of time, although I didn't have any answers to pair with them, yet. By the time I looked at the clock again, it was 8:45. My heart started beating faster. The seconds were ticking by, and soon I would have to face him. I swallowed loudly and took deep breaths, trying to calm myself. I slowly walked towards the door, placing my hand on the handle. Questions were still running through my head. Wonder if Utau just told him right there, while I was there? What would I say? Or do? I shook the questions away, Utau wouldn't do that, would she? Not yet, anyways…

I took one more deep breath, and opened the door. I braced to be greeted by someone, but I looked down both ends of the hallway and saw nobody coming, I sighed in relief. I listened closely and heard people talking down stairs, and knew they were both down there. It was one things facing Ikuto, but with Utau down there, too, it just made matters worse.

I walked towards the stairs, gripping the railing tightly, taking another breathe and slowly letting it out, and I walked down stairs.

At the bottom, Utau and Ikuto were sitting at the table, just talking. They both seemed to notice me at the same time.

"Morning Amu," Utau said, smirking. I looked at her with curious eyes, wondering why she was smirking so evilly.

"What?" I asked her.

"I just noticed you are down here early," she told me.

"S-so?" I replied, confused. I couldn't figure out what she was trying to do…

"Nothing, you just seem eager to leave, is all" she said, smirking more. I felt my face getting red, not sure how to reply. Saying she was wrong was a lie and I wasn't agreeing with her. I heard Ikuto chuckle.

"You are so cruel," he told her jokingly.

"Like you wouldn't do something worse," she said, standing up and walking towards the door.

"I know, I never said it was a bad thing," he replied, smirking as well. I sighed, why did they get so much joy out of teasing me?

Ikuto stood up as well and walked towards me.

"Ready?" he asked me. I replied with a subtle nod, and he just shook his head, smiling.

"What?" All I did was nod, why was he smiling?

"Let's go," he said, still smiling. I sighed, knowing he wouldn't answer my question.

As we walked towards the door, Utau opened for us, still grinning. I couldn't figure out why she was so set out on embarrassing me in front of Ikuto. I know she wanted me to be open with him, but what was embarrassing me around him going to do? We walked towards Ikuto's car and before Utau closed the door she yelled out:

"Have fun!" Even though she was smiling and not smirking, I still detected a bit of evil in her smile. I glared at her for a moment before she closed the door. I was puzzled, but just decided I would deal with her when I got home. I got the passenger seat of the car and soon we sped out of the drive way and down the street.

The drive was only about twenty minutes and when we finally arrived, my eyes were greeted by hundreds of bright colors and people. The moment Ikuto stopped the car, I jumped out.

"A carnival!" I said excitedly. I heard Ikuto laughing at me.

"I didn't realize something like this would make you so happy," he said, getting out of the car as well. The word _happy_ triggered memories from last night when Utau had mention that she was going to tell Ikuto that I was really happy, and I started blushing.

"I-I haven't been to a carnival in years…" I said, hoping maybe she didn't tell him.

"You're such a little kid," he said, chuckling.

"No I'm not!" I argued with him. He laughed again, and started walking towards the entrance. He only walked a few feet when he called after me.

"It isn't going to come to you, you know," he told me. I was so mesmerized I had just been standing at the car. I snapped out of it and quickly caught up with him.

The entrance was decorated with brightly colored streamers and balloons. I got caught up in the excitement again.

"It's so amazing!" I said loudly, looking around in every direction. The place seemed huge. "Are we going to be able to see it all?" I asked, looking towards Ikuto. He looked at me and laughed again.

"W-what?" I demanded, blushing slightly.

"Nothing," he said, smirking and shaking his head. I glared at him.

"Come on," he said, still smiling. I was still glaring at him, but followed him into the park.

They had all sorts of rides; roller coasters, merry-go-rounds, fun houses, tea cups, many different colored tents and so much more! My eyes were darting in all different directions and soon we were stopped in the middle of the park. Ikuto turned to look at me.

"Where to first?" he asked. I looked at him and really wanted to tell him that I wanted to go on them all, but I couldn't choose which one first, but of course I didn't.

"I-I don't care," I told him, although it was an obvious lie. He sighed at me.

"I'm not going to care if you say you want to ride all of them," he told me. I flinched, it really was like he could read my mind. I bit my lip, deciding what to say. He waited a few seconds, but then he spoke again.

"If you're not going to choose, then I will," he said, smirking widely. It was an evil smirk, and I was wondering which ride he was going to try to drag me on.

I starred at him with both questioning and fearful eyes, and he kept on grinning. Suddenly, he grabbed my hand and we started walking again. My heart started beating rapidly and I felt my cheeks redden. I wanted to hold his hand back, I really did, but I couldn't bid my fingers to move. I kept telling myself I would do it in just a few seconds, however, I never was able to bring myself to.

I was so caught up with the fact that he had grabbed my hand, I hadn't been paying attention at all as to where we were headed. When we came to a stop, I realized we were in line, it wasn't all that long, but I wished it was. When I looked up, I was greeted by a tall tower. I looked at the sign of the ride, and it read "_Free Faller_". I looked at Ikuto.

"A-are we going on this one?" I asked him worriedly. He started smirking again.

"I told you to choose first," he said. I swallowed loudly, staring anxiously at the ride.

"Scared?" he asked me and I looked back at him.

"A-as if! It's not _that_ high," I said, my voice not at all convincing, because it was in fact, quite high. Sure, it wasn't as high as the ones at the big amusement parks, but still…

"Right…" he said sarcastically.

I got more nervous the shorter the line got, and within a few minutes, we were next in line. I watched the people getting off before us, and there hair was blown in all different directions and the majority of them were laughing and smiling. So maybe it wasn't as bad as I thought. As I watched more of the people get off, I distinctly remember seeing someone with very blonde hair that very much reminded me of Tadase. I couldn't really tell since I could only see the back of there head, though it still bothered me and I tried to shake it from my thoughts. There was no way he would be here. Not today.

"Amu, we're next," he told me and I felt my heart skip a beat.

"Okay…" I said weakly.

He had to let go of my hand as the strapped us in, which I was upset about, although I didn't tell him that. But as soon as it started rising, he grabbed it again. I swallowed and I lightly wrapped my fingers around his, too, my grip tightening the higher we got.

"So you're still not scared?" he asked me, noticing that I was grasping his hand.

"N-not at all," I said, my voice shaking. I heard him laugh.

"How can you be laughing when we are so high?" I asked him, completely giving up on trying to keep myself composed.

"It's really not that high," he said.

"B-but wonder if we fall?" I asked, not realizing the stupidity of my question, and he just laughed more.

"Why do you think it is called a free fall?" he asked me. I was about to reply when I heard a clicking noise and when I looked around, I saw that we were at the top. My eyes widened and I gripped his hand even tighter when I heard another click and I felt the ride starting to descend, and fast. I shut my eyes tight and eve though it was only a few seconds of falling, I still couldn't help myself from screaming until I felt the ride slowing down near the bottom. Once I heard another click signifying the right had stopped, I opened my eyes and took a deep breath, sighing loudly as they let us off the ride. I noticed that Ikuto was laughing loudly.

"Why are you laughing?" I demanded, as we got off the ride and walked towards the exit, my legs shaking.

"You actually screamed!" he said, putting his hand on his face, laughing more.

"Sh-shut up!" I told him, my face becoming flustered. He responded by just laughing more. I crossed my arms. I just had to go and scream, didn't? I couldn't have just held my breath and waited until we got to the bottom?

"Ugh, I should have just chose the ride myself…" I said, more to myself then to him, although he heard me, finally calming down.

"I told you to," he said, still smiling widely, "you choose the next one, unless you want to ride another ride like that," he told me, there was no way I was ever going on that thing again.

I looked around the park when something caught my eyes.

"The tea cups!" I declared, because it reminded me of the past.

"Of course you would choose those," he replied. I continued to walk towards them, his words not stopping me.

The line was short and we barely waited more then a few minutes before we got on, and I started laughing as I watched Ikuto struggle to fit in the small cup.

"These are always way to small for you," I said, laughing more. He sighed, though he was smiling.

Soon we started spinning, and I watched the world around me blend together. Every time I looked at Ikuto, I couldn't help but smile more at how awkwardly he fit into the cup. As we spun, I saw that blonde hair again, and I was only able to catch a glimpse of this person's face, but it really did look like Tadase. I was almost positive, even though I hoped it wasn't, I had this bad feeling that it was. I tried to get a better look, but with the combination of spinning and moving, I quickly lost track of him and as soon as the ride began to slow, he was no where to be seen. As we got off, Ikuto noticed I was looking around.

"What are you looking at?" he asked me.

"Oh, um" I didn't want to tell him I thought I saw Tadase, "I'm just looking for another place to go," I told him, still glancing around. He seemed slightly suspicious, but shrugged it off.

We continued walking around, looking at some of the tents instead of the rides. They had tents for shooting games, obstacle courses, prizes, and a few other things. As we walked around, I caught a glimpse of that hair again at a tent a few yards away. I wanted to walk past, just to see if it was actually him, or if I was just being paranoid. I hope and hoped that it wouldn't be him, I didn't want this day to be ruined by his presence. As we got closer, he suddenly turned around and my eyes widened.

It was him. Of all places he could have gone today, he came here. I saw him holding hands with the same girl from the restaurant, and they were both laughing. I was just so shocked, so angry. How could he come here? Wonder if Ikuto saw him? It would ruin today! I didn't want that to happen, any day but today, my first date with Ikuto… I didn't want Ikuto to see where I was looking, so I decided I would just try to avoid him at all costs.

I immediately turned left, down another row of tents, wanting to put as much space between us as possible.

"What's with the sudden turn?" Ikuto asked me.

"Ah, I just wanted to go to that tent!" I said pointing at some random one in front of me.

"Really?" He asked me, sounding skeptic.

"Yeah," I said, laughing nervously. He raised an eyebrow at me.

"You want to go to the Psychic Tent?" He questioned me, knowing that I wouldn't choose that because I wanted to. I looked up, and sure enough, of all tents, I pointed at the one reading "_Psychic_" in fancy letters. I didn't want to have anyone trying to read my mind, because I was sure Ikuto would find some way to tease me about it. I kicked myself for not looking up before I chose.

"Uh, y-yeah, w-we've only been on rides so far, s-so I figured we should do something c-calmer," I told him, although the look on his face suggested he didn't believe me at all.

"Hmm…" was all he said as we started walking towards it.

When we got there, I looked around the front and didn't see anyone. I was hoping maybe I could just tell him that we could comeback later, and avoid the embarrassment I was about to go through. I looked around for a few more seconds, and I thought I was free.

"Oh, well, I guess there is no one-

Suddenly someone walked around the corner and dropped a box of thing near the counter. I sighed internally, I was so close to escaping. She looked up at us, and I was taken aback. She had bright green eyes and was absolutely gorgeous. She looked a little older than me, probably closer to Ikuto's age.

"Sorry to keep you waiting, I had to get more supplies from out back," she told me, smiling. I thought there may still be a way out of this.

"Oh! I-If you are busy, we can just come back later," I told her.

"It's fine, I can do a quick reading!" she reassured me.

"A-are you sure, it really is fine if you can't-

"She said it was fine, Amu, you said you wanted to do this, right?" Ikuto said, smirking evilly. He was onto me and knew that I really didn't want to do this.

"R-really?" I asked her.

"Yeah, it's no problem," she said, smiling again.

"Great," I said with fake enthusiasm, although she took it as shyness.

"No need to be nervous, I don't bite," she said happily. I looked at Ikuto one more time, wondering if he really was going to put me through this. He just kept smirking.

"Go ahead," he insisted. I sighed in defeat and walked up to the small table that the women was now sitting at.

She had her hands out, gesturing me to give her one of mine, and I warily place my right hand in hers. She traced the lines on my hands with her fingers, a small smile creeping upon her lips.

"Let's see…" she said, pausing to think. "I can see in your future, both near and far, you will always, _always_ be filled with great happiness, of the purist kind," she told me, pausing again.

"There are different kinds of happiness?" I asked her, not sure if I would regret asking or not.

"Well, some people buy happiness with money, which is on of the less pure ones. Others get happiness from satisfaction, others from recognition, and so on," she told me.

"W-what kind is mine?" I asked her, both nervous and curious. She paused to look at me, and I thought I saw her glance at Ikuto.

"Happiness from love," she said, smiling wider. I felt myself starting to blush, my eyes widening. I kept my eyes on her, avoiding looking at Ikuto.

"Does that sound accurate enough?" she said, knowing she had hit the mark. I just stared at her silently, to embarrassed to say anything, and she laughed.

"I'll just take your silence as a yes," she told, releasing my hands and getting up. "Well, I really have to finish gathering my supplies, sorry I couldn't give you a longer reading," she told us, starting to take things out of the box she had brought out.

"I-It's fine! Th-thank you!" I said nervously, quickly standing up. I turned around, making eye contact with Ikuto, who was smirking, which made me blush more.

"W-what?" I demanded, unable to hide my embarrassment. He just laughed and started walking again. I followed after him, still reluctant to make eye contact with him.

As we walked on, I suddenly remembered that Tadase was _here_. I frantically looked left and right, to see if he was anywhere near us. I thought we were safe, hoping he had walked to another area in the park, and I sighed in relief. But as we continued walking, I was looking over a crowd, and I saw him. Why did he have to be so close to us? This park was huge, and he had to be in the same area as us! I looked for the nearest place to hide, but everywhere I looked there where just tents. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a large building that looked something of a fun house, and was about to bolt of there, but when I looked carefully at the sign, I stopped. The only place we could escape to was the Haunted House. Just my luck.

"Where did you want to go now?" Ikuto asked me, looking to see what I was staring at, and noticed the sign.

"Don't tell me you want to go to the Haunted House," he said. He knew I hated them, so why would I want to go to one? If I said I wanted to, he would know I was lying.

"So what if I do?" I challenged him, trying to act brave.

"You hate Haunted Houses, from what I remember," he told me, raising an eyebrow, figuring something was up. I looked over the crowd again and saw that Tadase and his girlfriend were getting closer, and I knew I had to move fast or there was going to be a big confrontation right here in the middle of the crowd.

"Well, I-I want to see if they are as scary as they used to be," I told him, and I began walking in that direction, he sighed, shaking his head, wondering why I was acting so strange.

I hurriedly walked over there, and there was no line to get inside, just two attendants telling us that the elderly and sick should not go inside and that there were exits half way through if you wanted to leave early. Once they finished explaining, we walking.

After taking only a few steps, we were quickly surrounded by darkness. I thought we were safe, until I realized we were in the haunted house now and things could pop out at any second. I was frantically looking around, waiting for something to pop out when I noticed two people entering the house as well. I couldn't believe they came in here, too! Where did I have to go to get away from him to keep him from ruining things!

I looked away, not wanting them to see me, when suddenly I felt something breath down the back of my neck and I screamed, jumping towards Ikuto and grabbing his arm, and I heard him laughing. My heart was racing and my eyes were practically bulging out of my head in fear.

"I knew you didn't want to go in here," he said, and in the dim light, I could see him shaking his head. It hit me then that I was still clinging to his arm, and I could feel the blood rush up to my face. I didn't want to let go, but still, I can't believe I did that.

I could heard another girl scream, and from the sound of it, she was only a little far behind us, and I knew they were catching up. We needed to get away from them, and soon, and up ahead, I saw a turn off of the main route and hoped if we went that way, we could lose them."I didn't think it would be this scary," I told him, hoping he would suggest to leave early.

"Did you want to exit early?" he asked me. I felt relieved that we would be able to escape, but I didn't want to sound to eager.

"I-If you want to…" I said, trying to act like I didn't care.

"You are scared so easily…" he said, and I heard the smirk in his voice. "I think I see an exit up a head," he point at the turn I saw from a while back.

I could here Tadase and company drawing closer just as we were nearing the turn. I couldn't wait to get out of here, and as we turned the corner, I smiled, knowing I was going to escape.

My smile immediately faded when I didn't see any door, just more black, blank walls. There were a few eerie bulbs that seemed to float in mid air that were giving off light.

"W-where's that door?" I asked, aware that their voices were getting closer.

"Weird… I guess it's farther down," I heard Ikuto say calmly. "I guess you will just have to brave it out," he said, smirking. At this point I released my grip around his arm and walked up to the wall, feeling around it, hoping maybe there was a trick to it. I heard Ikuto laugh.

"I don't think there is a trap door or anything," he thought I was just scared of the house, and didn't understand how much more there was to it. There was still hope though, wasn't there? Maybe they would just walk right on by without noticing us, and we could just follow behind them. I continued knocking on the wall, feeling for a switch, trying to stall.

"It's probably farther up, Amu," he said, walking up to me.

"B-but didn't they say it was half way?" I asked him, and I could distinctly hear their voices now.

"We probably aren't half through yet," he said, grabbing my hand. "I'm sure it's only a little farther up," he said, turning around to continue walking down the main hallway.

As soon as we turned around, they to walked around the corner and I stopped in my tracks. Ikuto looked at me to see why I stopped. Then Tadase looked up from talking with his girlfriend and his eyes found mine and he stopped, as well.

"Amu?" he asked, and I just stared at him with wide eyes. Ikuto looked up and saw him, too. I sighed internally, only one word came to my mind in that moment.

_Crap._

_Okay! Listen I am so unbelievably sorry how long it took to get this chapter out! I am sorry I put it up for a few hours, then took it down, but after re-reading it, I just couldn't stand it! I have had writers block for months and just couldn't figure out how to write this chapter! I'm sorry if this chapter is no better, but I just had to get SOMETHING out. I really hope you can forgive me for being such a terrible updater, I'm just glad I was able to get it out before school starts again. I will try to never take this long to update again, I hate making you guys wait! I will try to get the next chapter out soon! Really try, but I warned you, I am still trying to figure out how t end this story, because I keep switching back and forth between ideas, so please, just put up with my insanity! Thank you and again I am really sorry!_


	14. 14 Because I?

Hello everyone! How are you? Sorry this chapter is super late as well, _ To much stuff going on haha…

Well, nothing else to say but I hope you enjoy the chapter as much as you can :)

_**Flash back**_

_As soon as we turned around, they to walked around the corner and I stopped in my tracks. Ikuto looked at me to see why I stopped. Then Tadase looked up from talking with his girlfriend and his eyes found mine and he stopped, as well._

"_Amu?" he asked, and I just stared at him with wide eyes. Ikuto looked up and saw him, too. I sighed internally, only one word came to my mind in that moment._

Crap.

_**End of flash back**_

Because I…?

It felt like time came to a complete stop in that moment, like my brain couldn't process that this was all happening. I just couldn't grasp that we could all be here at the same time. This had to be a dream, it was the only explanation. Soon I would wake up and I would go on the real date with Ikuto where there would be no Tadase and nothing like this would happen, but the longer the silence dragged on, the more I came to realize that this couldn't be a dream, and I couldn't just wake up to get out of it. As I accepted this, time seemed to start back up again, and Tadase spoke.

"What… What are you doing here?" he asked. I swallowed, still trying to absorb the situation.

"I-I should be asking you the same thing," I replied weakly. He gave me an odd stare, like it was obvious.

"I'm on a date," he told me, glancing at the girl he was with. "But why are you-" he started speaking, but abruptly stopped and I saw that he was looking down at my hand, which was interlocked with Ikuto's. Then he suddenly let out a short burst of laughter.

"Don't tell me you two are together now?" he asked, acting like it was so hysterical that we were.

"Why would that matter to you?" I asked, aggravated that he was acting like we were a big joke. He smiled at me, obviously amused.

"Well, the second those divorce papers were signed, you just hooked up with the nearest person possible, didn't you?" he taunted me, and I snapped at him.

"Th-that's not true!"

"At least she waited until they were signed," Ikuto quickly said after me, but Tadase just rolled his eyes.

(_A/N: They got divorced, I just didn't include it because it would have been a boring chapter and I couldn't incorporate it into the storyline_).

"You two are still talking about that?" he sneered. "Come on, the past is the past, and you should just get over it," he said, waving his hand at me. I scoffed at him in disbelief.

"You are telling _me_ to get over it?" I asked, shocked. "Who was the one that came crawling to my door, begging me to take you back?" I demanded.

"I don't know what you are talking about," he replied, but I knew he was just playing dumb. He knew exactly what I was talking about and was just trying to cover up in front of his date.

"I don't even understand you," I said, shaking my head.

"What are you talking about?" he asked, always acting like he was clueless.

"That is exactly what I mean. You always try to act like nothing is wrong, and as long as you're happy, you don't care what you have to do. You don't care if you have to lie, keep secrets, or hurt people," I explained. He looked at me without speaking, like he was trying to come up with a comeback. After a few seconds of thought, he let out a small laugh.

"Oh, stop acting like I'm the bad guy," he said.

"What are you talking about?" I asked questioningly.

"If anyone here is the bad guy, it's you," he told me. My eyes widened at his words.

"How am I the bad guy?" I demanded, my voice rising, and he let out a light laugh, smirking slightly. How could he possibly pin this one me?

"I may have cheated on you," he paused, glancing at Ikuto for a few seconds, but then he quickly looked back at me, "but dating someone because you pity them and because you are lonely is just low," he finished, smiling in satisfaction.

I stared at him in shock, I couldn't believe what he had just said, I couldn't even come up with a response. I didn't understand how he could think for one second, that I was the worst out of the two of us. I continued to stare at him in silence for a few moments, and then his girlfriend spoke.

"Umm, Tadase, can we please leave?" she asked in a quiet voice, breaking the silence, and Tadase let out a small chuckle.

"Well, it appears I've left them at a loss for words, so I guess since we have no more business here, we can," he told her, grabbing her hand and starting to walk away, although I wasn't about to let that happen.

"Don't you dare walk away from me!" I yelled after him, and he stopped to look at me. I let go of Ikuto's hand and stormed towards Tadase so I was right in front of him.

"What? Finally found you voice?" he taunted me, and I glared at him silently, and he just laughed at this. "What do you want now?" he asked me.

"You think you can just insult me, and him, and then just casually walk away?" I demanded.

"Why do you care if I insult him? You are only with him because you pity him, anyways," he said, trying to infuriate me, and it was working. I felt like I was about to snap.

"Is that what you think?" I asked him, trying to control my voice, and he could tell.

"No," he paused, "it's what I know," he replied, getting in my face. I could feel myself about to lose it. I clenched my hand into a fist, trying to control my anger.

"Don't tell me you are going to start crying," he said, chuckling and in that second, I snapped.

The next thing I knew Tadase was on his knees, holding his face in his hands, his girlfriend was frantically asking if he was okay, and my fist was throbbing from punching him square in the jaw, but I was still far from being done with him.

"How can you act like I am the one who is being cruel?" I yelled at him. "Do you not remember _you_ were the one who cheated one me? Do you not remember that _you_ were the one who came crawling back, begging me to give you another chance? Do you ever process anything? Or do you just live in your own little fantasy world where everything is perfect for you, and you just lie and cheat to make it better for yourself? You don't care who you hurt, because as long as you're happy, everything is okay, right?" I asked, pausing for an answer I knew I wouldn't get because he was to busy crying and cursing about his precious face, although he finally looked up at me. His face was red with pain, rage, and embarrassment and after another second I continued speak. "Well, it's not alright, you can't just assume things just so you can look better and feel better about yourself," I glared down at him, and he still said nothing, his façade wiped off his face in the blink of an eye. "I am not going out with Ikuto because I pity him, or because I am lonely. I am going out with Ikuto because I-" _because I love him. _That was what I wanted to say, but there was no way I could bring myself to say it in front of everyone here, I knew that I would be embarrassed about all of this enough later. I quickly recovered and thought of a new response. "B-because he actually cares about me, unlike you. He has always been there for me from the very start, even when I wasn't there for him, even when I was with you, so I know I can trust him not hurt me," I said, starting to calm down. Tadase looked at me for a moment, but then stood up shakily, trying to regain his balance. "You are an arrogant, conceited, selfish little brat that will do anything to get what he wants, so stop trying to make me the bad guy," I finally finished speaking, my adrenaline wearing down and my anger fading away. At this point Tadase was just glaring at me, and he continued to do so while he spoke.

"Yeah, that's me, the arrogant little brat," he said, pausing as he stared me down, "so just wait, and I will get what I want and I will break you," he threatened me, but I continued to stand my ground. He continued to glare at me for a few more moments until his girlfriend tugged on his arm, and after another second and a final glare, the two of them began to walk back towards the entrance.

I watched them walk away until they were out of sight, and the moment they were, I sighed loudly. I felt like I had been holding my breath since I first saw them here, and now that they were finally gone, I could finally breath a sigh of relief.

I stood there, trying to catch my breath, and after I did, everything slowly started to hit me. All the things I had said, the things that I had done, the things that I _almost_ said. I can't believe I almost said 'I love him' in front of all of them! Wonder if Ikuto noticed how I paused? Wonder if he noticed me being paranoid now?

I tried to calm down and build up the courage to glance over at Ikuto, because I couldn't just stand here all day. I knew he would be starring at me, I knew it, but I still hoped he wouldn't be. I took slowly counted to three in my head and took a deep breath, then I quickly looked over at Ikuto for just a second. Of course he was starring right back at me, and I immediately looked away, the blush finally rushing to my face. I heard him chuckle, and then heard his foot steps walking towards me. I still didn't look at him, even as he drew closer, and when he was only a few feet away he stopped for a few seconds.

"Come on," he said, and then started walking again, but this time in the direction that we had originally been going in. I waited a few seconds before I turned to look at him, and by then he was already a few feet away from me, but I quickly caught up and followed closely behind him.

We walked in silence as we made our way to the exit of the house. I was just looking at the ground, trying to avoid looking at him at any cost. I was so embarrassed about earlier, I couldn't bear to look at him, but I could feel his eyes on me. He was obviously thinking about earlier, and was probably going to question me about everything I said later, and it's not like I regretted any of the things I said, but it was only now that I realized how many embarrassing they were. I still couldn't believe I almost said I loved him! I don't even want to know what would have happened if I had slipped up, even if it was the truth, I still didn't want to say it.

As we turned an incoming corner, I squinted after being greeted by light from the outside, we were finally at the exit and I sighed, relieved that we could finally escape this crazy place, but I was also spiked with panic because I would not longer have the darkness to cover me.

As we walked outside, I became even more paranoid now that I could no longer hide my face. I took a quick glance at Ikuto, and he was looking right at me, smirking, and I quickly looked away.

"W-why are you smirking?" I asked frantically. He laughed at me.

"Nothing," was all he said, still smirking, and I started blushing, knowing that it was far from nothing. I waited for him to say something else, so that we wouldn't have to walk around in this awkward silence anymore, but he didn't say anything else. I looked down at my feet and sighed.

"I'm sorry, Ikuto," I said, feeling more blood rising to my cheeks. He stopped walking and I stopped, too, looking up at him, and he stared back at me with questioning eyes.

"Why are you apologizing?" he asked, confused.

"Because, Tadase had to go and show up here, today of all days, and say all those things," I replied.

"True," he paused, "but it's not your fault."

"But still, I feel bad about all the things he said," I told him, looking down again.

"It wasn't that bad," he reassured me. "Plus, I did get to hear some, interesting things," he said, smirking, and I looked up at him, confused.

"W-what do you mean interesting?" I questioned. He couldn't be talking about what I think he was, right? He didn't notice my pause earlier, did he? My heart started racing as I waited for him to say something else, but he just laughed and smiled. Even though he didn't say anything, I didn't feel any less paranoid, because I knew he knew that something was up, and this wasn't over.

We started walking again and I was just looking around, trying to pull my thoughts together when I notice how little people there were and how many others were starting to walk towards the exit of the park. I had completely lost track of the time, I didn't even notice that the place would be closing soon.

"Too bad we never got to see the rest of the park," I sighed, looking around, Tadase had to go and ruin everything…

"We still have time to see the rest," Ikuto replied.

"How? The park is closing soon," I asked, puzzled. There were still so many places we hadn't been to yet, there was no way we had enough to time see them all.

"It hasn't closed yet, so we still have time,"

"But to we really have time to do everything?" I asked, not really sure what he was planning.

"Do everything, no. _See_ everything, yes," he said, a smirk crawling across his lips, but I still couldn't figure out what he was trying to say.

"What are you talking about?" I asked him, lost.

He suddenly stopped and pointed forward. I followed to where he was pointing, and then it clicked. He was pointing at the Ferris Wheel. From up there, even if we couldn't actually do everything, we could see the whole park from up there, which in a way, was what I had been asking

"Oh…" I exclaimed, finally understanding what he meant. He laughed lightly, and then continued walking and I followed after.

As we got to the front of the ride, there was almost nobody there, so we barely had to wait in a line. I looked up at it as it began to slow to let people on and off, it was definitely taller then the free fall we had been on earlier, but at least I could actually enjoy this more since I wouldn't be dropping me to my death.

After a few minutes of waiting, one of the ride attendants gestured us into one of the seats and I climbed in. When the ride started moving, I jumped in my seat, paranoid that the odd sounds it was making meant the wheel was going to fall off the tracks and we would go rolling away. Ikuto just laughed at me, and I started blushing, I became conscious of how close I was to Ikuto, there was barely an space between us on the seat, and I was confined in this small space with him, if he were to ask me something, or say something, there was no way for me to escape, and this only made me more frantic and paranoid.

I was now so anxious to get back down, it felt like an eternity to reach the top, and when we did, I started panicking when the ride stopped, until I remembered that they had to let people off. As we sat there, I looked around, trying to calm my nerves, and I noticed that the sky had gotten much darker and the sun had already moved across the sky and was now nearing the horizon. I couldn't believe how much time had passed, it felt like it had only been a few hours, but almost the whole day had gone by without me even noticing. I had completely lost track of time, and this made me smile, it must have been because I was with Ikuto. Time always seemed change when I was with him.

"What are you smiling about?" Ikuto asked, disrupting my thoughts.

"Ah, n-nothing," I quickly replied, although I knew he wouldn't just drop it like that. I waited for him to question me, but he just sighed and chuckled, and I found it odd that he just let it go. Both of us remained silent, but then he spoke again.

"What were you going to say?" he asked.

"What?" I asked, trying to play dumb, not wanting to tell him anything embarrassing.

"Earlier, you were going to say something, but then you paused and said something else," he said, eyeing me questioningly.

"Y-you mean just now?" I asked, feeling myself starting to blushing, I didn't want to tell him that I lost track of time while I was with him! No way was that happening!

"No," he started, smirking more, "back in the haunted house with Tadase, you said 'I am going out with Ikuto because I' and then you paused, like you were trying to come up with and excuse." He finished, he didn't even finish speaking and I could already feel my face getting redder.

"Just because I paused doesn't mean I was coming up with an excuse!" I replied frantically, trying to defend myself even though I knew I had been found out. I looked away and down at the small crowds of people below, avoiding looking at Ikuto, but out of the corner of my eyes, I could still see him smirking.

"You made it to obvious," he said, chuckling and I started blushing more.

"I-I don't know what you are talking about!" I quickly replied.

"I think you do," he said, still looking at me.

"No, I don't think so," I said, avoiding saying anything that would embarrass me further. He laughed at my weak attempts to stall. When he didn't say anything, I turned to face him, but the moment I did, he spoke.

"Admit it, you were going to say you were dating me because you loved me," he said. My eyes widened at his words and I started blushing more.

"I-I never said that!" I quickly replied, looking away again. He laughed at my pathetic response.

"Ah, but you don't deny it," he said, and I could hear the smirk in his voice. I froze, taken aback by his reply. I could feel myself blushing more and I groaned loudly, putting my face in my hands, beyond the point of embarrassed and Ikuto started laughing again. How did he always find a way to turn everything around on me? After a few more seconds, I felt the ride stop and sighed in relief that I could finally get off.

I stood up and walked off the ride without saying anything, still extremely embarrassed. I heard Ikuto stand up behind me but I didn't dare turn around to look at him, as if I wasn't flustered enough I didn't need him to say or do anything else to make it worse.

"Are you going to wait for me?" I heard him call out, but I didn't reply, I was so embarrassed, I just wanted to be out of the public eye before he did something else.

I kept walking without out checking to see if he was following me or not, I just figured he was walking right behind me, until I heard him speak.

"What?" I heard him ask, and I turned around to see he was still standing near the Ferris wheel a few yards away. I stared at him, confused as to what he was doing, and he spoke again. "You're not still embarrassed about that whole 'I love you' thing, are you?" he managed to say extra loud so that everyone around us could hear. My eyes got bigger and I was frozen for a moment, but then I quickly started walking towards him.

"Sh-shut up! Don't say things so loudly!" I hissed when I reached him and I could feel my face getting redder as more people looked our way. He just laughed at me, completely indifferent to all the stares and 'aws' being shot our way. After a few seconds he started walking and walked beside him.

"Why did you do that?" I asked demanded, utterly embarrassed.

"You weren't waiting for me," he pouted, although I could see the hint of a smirk on his lips. I groaned a his excuse, and he laughed at me and continued to tease me as we walked out of the park and towards his car.

"You're face is still red," he said, taunting me more as we got in the car.

"Ugh, shut up," I replied, to embarrassed to even freak out anymore, and he chuckled, but then he finally decided to drop the teasing act, for now.

After a few minutes, I finally felt calmer as I looked out the window, watching the sunset and the scenery flash by in silence. I closed my eyes and thought about everything that had happened on this crazy date, and I smiled.

'_Today was fun.'_

_Alright, I think I may have come up with a plotline for the story, finally! Although it is probably the cheesiest, most shoujo-y thing in the world XD But it may actually get the story somewhere, maybe not. Not even sure if I am going to use it or if I will continue to be stuck on my stupid, endless writers block hahaha who knows!_

_Thanks for reading again, review if you want and I again apologize if this chapter wasn't that great, I know it should be really amazing since it is really important, but I have been working on this section for way to long and my brain is about to explode so yeah…_

_I'll try to update as soon as possible, although it might be a while with school __

_Anyways, bye~_


	15. 15 It's Not That Big A Deal!

_SORRY D: I am having so much trouble with this story more and more. I have to many chapters already typed out, I just can't figure out how to get to them! I feel awful, I might even drop the story because I am so horrible at updating T_T_

_**Flash back**_

_After a few minutes, I finally felt calmer as I looked out the window, watching the sunset and the scenery flash by in silence. I closed my eyes and thought about everything that had happened on this crazy date, and I smiled._

'Today was fun.'

_**End of Flash back**_

It's Not That Big A Deal!

By the time we pulled into the driveway, the sun was just setting and the sky was a dim blue color, and I sighed when he turned the engine off, tired after such and exciting day.

"Have fun?" he asked, cracking a smirk.

"O-of course, well, for the most part, anyways," I replied, implying that the run in with Tadase was not so much fun. He chuckled lightly and was about to say something when his phone suddenly went off. He picked it up and stared at the screen questioningly for a moment before answering.

"Hello?" He asked skeptically. I heard the small chatter of a voice replying to him, but didn't here what it said.

"I'll be inside in a few minutes, you can go in," he said, putting his hand over the receiver.

"Oh, um, okay," I replied, wondering who it was, but I didn't want to act all clingy so I opened the door of the car and got out and started up the drive way.

When I reached the front door of the house I glanced back at the car, and Ikuto was still sitting in it, talking on the phone, and continued glaring confusedly. I sighed, deciding to shrug it off and went inside.

When I walked inside, I was surprised Utau wasn't there to bombard me with questions like '_Where did you go?' 'What did you do?' 'Did you kiss-'_

I immediately stopped on that one thought. _Did you kiss…?_ I can't believe I had completely forgot about something like that when all last night, that was all I had been thinking about. I wanted to kiss him so bad that I kissed a wall, so how did just slip my mind? But more importantly, why didn't he kiss me? This was Ikuto we were talking about, the old, perverted, goes-at-his-own-pace Ikuto, I figured he would have been practically smothering me, but all we ever did was hold hands…

I started walking up the stairs and pondering my thoughts more. How did he restrain himself from not kissing me? Why, I mean, we were going out, right? He should have kissed me the second that part was finalized, it was finalized, right? Asking me on a date pretty much says that.

"Ugh!" I groaned in frustration, scratching my head as a reached my room. I just couldn't make sense of this! I opened the door, and even though I was exhausted, I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep now that I was all caught up on this.

When I looked over to my bed, I was surprised to see Utau laying down and reading some magazine. When she looked up and saw me, she shot up and threw the magazine on the floor, smiling eagerly.

"You're back!" she exclaimed excitedly.

"Yup," I said not-so excitedly, still hung up on the whole kissing thing.

"Are you okay?" She asked worriedly.

"Yeah, I'm great, I had a lot of fun," I said, smiling to reassuring her. "I'm just tired."

"I see…" she replied, silent for a few seconds. "So what happened? What did you guys do?" she asked curiously. " I know you went to the carnival, but that's all he would tell me," she explained.

"Wait, I thought you said that you didn't know anything!" I demanded and she just smiled at me.

"I lied," she admitted. I glared at her, who knows how much more sleep I could have gotten if she had just told me that.

"Yeah yeah, I know you're mad, but you can yell at me later, right now I want to know what happened!" she demanded eagerly. I laughed at her, unable to stay mad, but I stayed silent for a moment, not sure where to start.

I told her everything that had happened up to the haunted house, and when I told her we ran in Tadase, her mouth dropped.

"Are you serious? He was really there?" she asked, shocked.

"Yeah, it was awful," I replied, putting my face in my hands.

"I can't believe he was there at the same time you were," she said. "You really do have horrible luck," she spoke again. I exhaled, agreeing with her.

After I finished explaining the Tadase fiasco to her, I continued on with the rest of our date, leaving out most of the embarrassing details. After I finished talking, she just kind of looked at me.

"That's it?" she asked, puzzled.

"Yeah, why?" I said, wondering what she meant, and she just stared at me looking shocked.

"Are you telling me that he didn't kiss you?" she asked frantically. I was relieved to know it wasn't just me who that it was abnormal of Ikuto.

"N-no, why are you making such a big deal about it?" I asked, even though I had been freaking out about it just moments before.

"How can I not be?" She said, jumping of the bed, and looking down at me.

"What? Why is it important that he kissed me?" I asked, hoping she could give me and answer.

"I can't believe him! After years and years of waiting, he suddenly decides to do _nothing_?" she scoffed.

"Calm down, it's really no that big-

"It is a _huge_ deal!" she cut me off.

"W-why?" I asked again.

"Because, this is _Ikuto_ we are talking about! Do you not remember how much of a pervert he is?" she questioned.

"W-well, maybe he just got shy-

"Amu, you obviously don't understand, this guy has been waiting so long to be with you, and I'm sure he wants to do things you probably couldn't even imagine, so there is no way he is just being 'shy'!" she retorted, and I started blushing at her words.

"W-what do you mean 'things you probably couldn't even imagine'?" I asked frantically, all sorts of things now going through my mind, making me blush more.

"I'm going down stairs now and I'm going demand some answers!" she growled.

"W-wait, Utau!" I called after her, grabbing her arm before she could bolt out the door.

"What?" she snapped.

"Umm, maybe you shouldn't go down and ask him," I told her, not really sure what to say, all I knew is that I didn't want her asking him something like that.

"And why not?" she asked, sounding aggravated.

"Well, uh, he's in the car still, I think," I said hesitantly. I never heard the door open, but he could have snuck in sometime while Utau was yelling.

"Then I'll go out to the car," she said, yanking her arm free.

"B-but he was on the phone!" I quickly said, trying to stop her. Just as I said that, I heard the front door slam.

"Sounds like he's in the house," she said, about to storm down stairs.

"He might still be on the phone," I said, trying to hopelessly keep her up here, but then, almost like on cue, Ikuto called Utau's name from down stairs and she smiled evilly.

"Looks like I'm needed," and she bolted out of the room before I could say anything. I tried to catch her, but by the time I got to the door, she was already down the stairs. I heard her starting to talk to him, and I quickly closed myself back in my room. I held my back against the door and listened to them talking. I was some how hoping that she was only joking and wasn't actually going to say anything.

"Ikuto, what the hell is wrong with you!" I heard Utau yell at him.

"Oh god…" I groaned, sliding down to the floor and burying my face in my hands.

"What?" he asked, obviously puzzled by her anger.

"Please, Utau, just don't say anything," I prayed to myself.

"How could you not kiss her!" she demanded, and I moaned loudly, I couldn't believe she actually asked him that, and of course, I couldn't here him over my own complaining. Even though I absolutely hated Utau for asking him something like that, if she was already going to ask, I would've liked to know, too.

I tried listening more, but now they were talking abnormally soft, so I couldn't make out what they were saying, and I was worried as to what they were discussing. After trying hopelessly to see if I could catch any of the conversation, I gave up, unable to make out anything. I collapsed onto my bed, frustrated, embarrassed, and anxious, all at the same time. I had no idea how I was going to face him tomorrow after she said something like that.

I lay is silence for a few minutes, finally calmed down for the most part, and I just listened to the murmurs coming from down stairs. It was only after I heard footsteps walking up the stairs that I started to panic again. I frantically buried myself under the covers and pretended that I was asleep. I waited anxiously under the covers, dreading that some one would walk in and find out I wasn't actually sleeping.

I flinched when I heard my door open, and I waited for a voice. As much as I would have preferred to be left alone, I would much rather talk to Utau right now then Ikuto.

"Amu, I know you aren't asleep," I heard Utau say, and I was relieved, but I still didn't want to talk to her, so I was going to just act like she woke me up.

"What are you doing? I'm trying to sleep," I told her 'groggily', squinting my eyes in the light.

"You left the light, only an idiot would actually believe you were asleep," she replied bluntly. I was going to try to keep up with the façade but I figured she would see through it anyways.

"I hate you," I told her, diving back under my sheets.

"Why?" she asked, clueless.

"Are you kidding me?" I demanded, throwing the blankets off of me. "You just went down stairs and told him about what we were talking about! Do you realize how embarrassing that is for me?" I said.

"Well at least we know why now, so stop complaining," she argued back. Despite the fact that she asked him something like that, I was still happy that at least I would know why now.

"Well, um, what did he say?" I asked anxiously.

"Secret," she replied bluntly.

"What?" I snapped back at her.

"What?"

"W-why would you ask him that and not tell me? What is the point in that!" I ask exasperatedly. What was she thinking?

"Well it would be no fun if I told you," she said, still smiling, and I just stared at her silently. How could she ask him something like, something that had nothing to do with her, and not tell me?

"Well, I'm going to bed! Night~" she said, walking quickly out of my room before I could say anything.

"Utau!" I called after, quickly following after and out the door.

After I had walked out a few feet, I realized I was in a danger zone. Wonder if Ikuto suddenly turned around the corner? I can't face him now? What would I say? What would he do? I would just explode!

I turned on a dime a dove back into my room, locking the door behind me. I was in no way ready to face him. It seemed like Utau always seemed to get me into situations like this, I swear, one day I am going to get her back for all of this.

I slowly crawled back towards my bed, suddenly feeling more exhausted then before. It seemed as though the energy high that I had built up throughout the day had finally wore off. I lazily got into my bed, not even bothering to change out of my clothes, I was just way too tired.

The next morning I woke up at around 8:30, unable to recall when I feel asleep. All I know is that I didn't want to leave my room for the second morning in a row. I didn't want to see Ikuto after what Utau told him last night, I don't even think I could force myself to look him in the eye if I wanted to.

I tried to keep myself in my room for as long as possible. I changed my clothes slowly, I fixed up my hair in my room instead of going to the bathroom, and by the time I had virtually done everything possible to waste time, it was only barely nine o'clock. I sighed, knowing that I couldn't be a shut-in in my room forever, and after a few more minutes, I finally forced myself out.

I told myself, I was gonna be calm, I wasn't going to act all nervous and freak out, I was going to pretend like nothing ever happened, like Utau never said anything. As I walked down stairs for breakfast, I couldn't keep my heart from racing nervously despite myself, and when I reached that bottom, I cautiously looked around. When I saw no sign of Ikuto, I sighed in relief.

"Looking for someone?" I heard from behind me, and I jumped away and turned around, shocked, but not surprised. Of course Ikuto would show up right behind me just when I thought I was safe.

"W-what the hell!" I demanded, still recovering from his sudden appearance.

"What?" he asked, smirking. I sighed and took a few steps back, putting some distance between us.

"Why do you find the need to scare so early in the morning?" I muttered, running my finger through my hair.

"Because," he started walking towards me, and when he was only a foot or two away, he put his hand on my head. "I'll have no other time to do it today," he finished, ruffling my hair and then walking past me, and I started blushing.

"W-what are you talking about?" I asked, trying to smooth out my hair. He turned around again just as he was opening the front door.

"Like I said before, unlike some people, particular people with oddly colored hair, I have work," he said, and I just stared at him. How was I expected to work right after what had happened just a few weeks before?

"How-

"Bye Amu," he said, both winking at me and cutting me off, and then closing the door. Again, I just stared at the door, not really sure what just happened, but mostly, I was glad that he didn't bring up a certain subject.

Just as I was turning around, I saw Utau walking down stairs, bag in hand and all dressed up.

"Are you going somewhere?" I asked.

"Yup, I gotta work, too," she replied.

"So you are leaving me all alone? What am I supposed to do all day?" I asked, not sure what I was going to do all day now that nobody would be home.

"Oh, I'm sure you'll figure out something," she said, walking past me and out the door. "Later Amu!" she called out before closing it behind her.

I sighed, not really sure what I was going to do now.

_Hey guys! Again, I am really reaaaaaallllllly sorry about another late update _ I really am trying to get this story back on track because I don't want to drop it, because I have some really good,cute ideas in mind for it! And I am also really sorry that this chapter was really… Uninteresting! I promise it will (I hope) get better soon, it's just that, I have some really good chapters that I already typed, and I had so much fun typing them! I am just having trouble getting to said chapters, but I think I have finally found a way to connect them! :D I will definitely have chapter 16 out way sooner then this one! I will try to get it out within the next week or two __J_

_Thank again hope to see you soon ^_^_


	16. 16 Boredom

_Hey everybody :D Sorry this was out late…again T_T I PROMISE to get things on track again soon! I was on an uphill slope but I'm almost at the top so it should be down hill after this chapter, meaning I am hoping chapters will come out more frequently __J__ I appreciate that some people are actually still reading this, so because of that, I will definitely finish this story! I don't want to drag you along and then just throw you all away! I hope I can get this story to be, well, better soon __J_

_Enjoy the chapter~_

_**Flash back**_

"_So you are leaving me all alone? What am I supposed to do all day?" I asked, not sure what I was going to do all day now that nobody would be home._

"_Oh, I'm sure you'll figure out something," she said, walking past me and out the door. "Later Amu!" she called out before closing it behind her. _

_I sighed, not really sure what I was going to do now._

_**End of Flash back**_

Boredom

I glanced up at the clock, and groaned loudly when it only read 11:30. This had to be the slowest day of my life. It felt like I had spent the entire day just watching TV, but not even three hours have passed. I sighed and got off the couch, deciding I would fill my void of boredom with food because that seemed to be the only thing to do, eat and watch TV.

As I was looking through the cabinets, trying to find something to snack on, I was startled by the sound of a phone ringing. I looked around to see where it was coming from, and when I walked out of the kitchen, I found the receiver sitting on the dining room table. It looked like it was the home phone, not a cell phone, so I didn't see any problem with answering, so I did.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Hi, is Ikuto there?" a women's voice asked.

"Umm, no sorry, he's at work right now, can I take a message?" I asked, curious as to who was calling, although I assumed it was probably someone from his work.

"Oh, who is this?" the voice replied.

"This is Amu, I'm staying with Ikuto and his sister right now," I told her.

"… Oh," was all she said, and I wasn't really sure what to say to that.

"Ahaha yeah," and there was an awkward silence. "So, do you still want me to take a-

And then I just heard a click and a dial tone.

"Hello?" I asked, seeing if anyone was still there, but after a few seconds, there was still no reply, so I set the phone down.

"I wonder if I accidentally hung up on them…?" I wondered out loud. Oh well, I'm sure she'll call back eventually, although I don't think I wanted her to, she seemed kind of snobby.

I returned to the kitchen to grab more snacks and went back to the couch to watch TV, and again I waited for the hours to pass until someone got home and could end my boredom.

At about 5pm, Utau finally got home

"Ugh, you're _finally_ back," I groaned, looking in her direction.

"What?" she asked, puzzled by my exasperation.

"I've been so bored all day, there is nothing to do here," I complained to her.

"Then why didn't you go somewhere?"

"Both the cars were gone, so what was I supposed to do?" I replied.

"Walk?" she suggested, and I just mumbled at her, "you are so lazy," she said laughing lightly, and then plopping down next to me. "Have you just been watching TV all day?" she asked.

"Umm, if getting up to get food or use the bathroom doesn't count, then yeah, pretty much," I admitted, knowing that I had been very unproductive today.

"Oh my god," she said, shaking her head at me. I couldn't help it, there was nothing better to do. A few minutes passed before I remember that someone called earlier.

"Oh yeah, and earlier this morning someone called asking for Ikuto," I told her.

"Who?" she asked.

"I don't know, it was just some woman, when I asked if I could take a message for him, she just hung up," I explained.

"Huh, that's weird, but I'll tell him when he gets back," Utau said, pursing her lips.

We sat together for another hour or two, just chatting and watching TV, but eventually we got hungry and moved into the kitchen and made dinner.

After about another half an hour or so, I heard the front door open, and a jolt of panic went through me and I immediately stood up from my chair. I was not going to be in the same room as Ikuto right now, let alone Ikuto and Utau because I knew she would try to bring up a certain topic.

"Why are you getting up so suddenly?" Utau asked, smirking. She knew exactly why, and if she wasn't going to say anything before, she definitely was now. I was about to reply when Ikuto stepped into the room and when I made eye contact with him I felt my face instantly turn red. I stared at him for a second, but I knew I had to get out of there before Utau spoke up.

"Um, th-thanks for the meal," I said quickly, nodding my head.

"Amu, is there something you wanted to talk about?" she interjected before I could leave the room and I hesitated for a moment.

"N-no!" I hastily replied and then darted out of the kitchen.

I sighed as I closed the door to my room. How long could I keep this up? I don't think I can I avoid him forever, I never can, but I just don't want to deal with that kind of questioning! He would never let me live it down if he knew I actually wanted him to kiss me, but isn't that the obvious answer? When you love someone, usually you want to kiss them, it is a normal thing! So why is Utau trying to make such a big deal out of it?

"Ugh…" I groaned, collapsing face forward onto my bed.

I lay there for an hour or so, just contemplating what I should do and playing out different scenarios in my head, until I heard the door opened, and I tensed up. I was not ready to face Ikuto yet.

"Relax, it's just me," I heard Utau say, and I rolled over and sat up, glaring at her.

"What are you so mad about?" she asked me.

"What do you think?" I replied, still glaring.

"Oh forget about that already, I wouldn't have said anything if you hadn't acted so paranoid," she said, sitting down next to me.

"Uhuh, sure," I replied, rolling my eyes.

"Come on, you want to know why he hasn't kissed you yet, right?" she asked. I opened my mouth, but paused, knowing there wasn't really any other way to answer that.

"Well, yeah, I told you that already," I said, blushing slightly.

"Then just ask him, I'm sure he'd be more then happy to tell you," she explained.

"Why don't you just tell me and save me the embarrassment?" I asked desperately.

"Because I promised him I wouldn't say anything," she told me, sticking out her tongue. I sighed at her, shaking my head.

"If you really want to kiss him so badly, why don't you just kiss him yourself?" she asked suddenly. I looked at her, shocked.

"N-no way!" I stammered and she laughed.

"Yeah, you're right," she replied.

"Wait, what is that supposed to mean?" I asked her.

"Don't try to deny it, I'd like to see you even admit you would kiss him at all, but you would never have the guts to kiss, especially since he hasn't even kissed you yet," she said. I knew what she was saying was true, but I didn't want to accept it.

"H-he's kissed me before," I retorted, but she just laughed again.

"Your cheek and nose don't count," she countered and I just looked at her silently and sighed. I knew she was right and I was just trying to make the situation seem better for me. Neither of us were saying anything, so I grabbed the glass of water on my desk to get a drink. Right as I was taking a drink she exhaled.

"Listen, he does have a good reason for not kissing you yet, I mean, he wants to marry you so-

I interrupted her sentence with my sudden coughing from choking on water. I set my glass back down, still coughing.

"W-what?" I managed to spit out between coughing fits.

"What are you, and idiot? How did you not figure that out by yourself?" she told me. I didn't say anything for a few moments because I was still coughing, but eventually I regained the ability to speak.

"D-don't just randomly t-tell me those things!" I blurted out.

"Well I had assumed you already put the pieces together, I didn't realize it would be such a shock to you," she replied.

"I don't think that far ahead so of course it's shocking!" I replied frantically.

"Calm down," she said, raisin her hands.

"H-how am I supposed to be calm after hearing something like that?" I said, I think I was starting to sound hysterical. "There is no way I can ever face him again," I said exasperatedly.

"Well, I could always bring him in here if you are to afraid to face him yourself," she suggested.

"No! No no no no no," I replied, sitting up, more paranoid then ever.

"Um, are you okay?" Utau asked worriedly.

"No, no I'm not, just, can you leave me alone for a little while, I need to collect my thoughts," I asked her, tapping my finger nervously.

"Uh, yeah, sorry," she said, and then left the room, closing the door behind her. The second I heard it close, I placed my head in my hands, I couldn't believe what I had just heard. _He wants to marry you, he wants to marry you, he wants to marry you _playing over and over again in my head. By what means did Utau think I would not go crazy after hearing something like that? I mean, well, of course I wanted to _marry_ him, but that was just something at the very back of my mind that I didn't want to bring up until later on! I didn't for one second consider that he would feel that way! Ugh, this was just to much.

I rolled around in my bed for a while, paced around my room, and just sat around and thought for hours, but eventually I became to exhausted to even think about it, and I went to sleep.

Since I had been up so late the night before, by the time I woke up both Ikuto and Utau had already left, which was a relief. I tried staying in bed as long as possible, just so I wouldn't be stuck watching TV all day again, but by 11:30 I knew I couldn't stay in bed any longer. I spent the next few hours doing the same thing as the day before; watching TV, eating, and wandering through out the house.

Utau finally got home and 7:30, and I had been so bored earlier that I started cleaning the house, and when she saw me she looked surprised.

"I'm shocked, I didn't know you could actually be productive," she said, laughing.

"It's amazing how inspiring utter boredom can be," I replied, throwing a dirty rag in the waste basket.

"Why don't you go somewhere if you are so bored? Or go get a part time job or something" she suggested. I contemplated the idea, I knew I needed to get a job sometimes soon though, I couldn't just keep mooching off of them with nothing in return.

"I'll get around to it sometime soon," I responded.

"Mmhmm," she nodded skeptically. "In the mean time, why don't you go to work with Ikuto tomorrow? I'm sure you're curious as to what his work is like."

"Well, I don't want to just invade in on his work space," I replied, but she was right, I did want to see what it was like.

"It's fine, I already asked him and he said you could," she said smiling.

"Wait! Did you tell him I wanted to see it?" I asked. I didn't want Ikuto to think I wanted to spend time with him! Well, naturally I wanted to spend time with him, but I didn't want to admit it to him.

"… I may have implied it," she replied hesitantly. I sighed at her, I guess it was too late now, and at least this way I didn't have to ask him.

"Ugh… Well, what time do I have to wake up tomorrow?" I asked.

"Around 8, I guess," she answered.

"And you are sure he's okay with this? Why didn't he just ask me?"

"Yeah I'm sure, and because you've been avoiding him for the past two days," she explained, raising an eyebrow at me and I laughed nervously.

"Right…" I say, avoiding that last statement.

Ikuto got home at around 9 and by then we had already eaten dinner and sat around for a while. Utau invited him to come sit with us, but he said he was exhausted and just went straight up to his room. I was relieved that somehow luck was on my side, but at the same time, I had wanted to clarify that it was alright for me to go with him tomorrow.

Utau also decided she was going to head up early as well, and she went up to her room after a few minutes, and since I had slept in so late, I was now wide awake. I decided to clean up dinner and all that before heading up to as well, although that barely took five minutes, so I didn't really kill any time.

I started up the stairs to my room, figuring I can just read a book until I fall asleep and right as I reached the top, I saw Ikuto walk into his room, leaving the door open just a crack behind him. I should just go straight to my room and avoid any confrontation, I don't want to end up getting embarrassed and/or hyped up right before I go to bed, but I really felt like I needed to double check with him about tomorrow. All I had to do was walk in, ask him, walk out. There didn't need to be anything else, just a simple question, that's it.

I stood outside his door for a few moments before building up the courage to knock, and when I finally did, I instantly wish I didn't, I knew there was no way I was going to get away with just a question.

A few seconds passed and I didn't here him acknowledge me, I only heard the light murmuring of a TV and I thought maybe he had already passed out and I wouldn't have to ask him after all, but as I was about to turn around and go to my room, the door opened. Ikuto looked at me, obviously surprised to see me.

"Seems like it's been a while since I last saw you," he said, now smirking and I laughed, although I was sure he could detect the anxiety in it.

"W-wonder why that is," I replied nervously, and he chuckled, turning around and walking back to his bed, taking a seat and patting and open spot next to him, gesturing me to sit. I felt my face turning red, I knew I could not sit down with him now, I didn't want this to last any longer then it needed to.

"U-um I-I actually just have a question," I stated, and to my surprise he raised his eyebrows.

"Really?" he asked, seeming both confused and taken aback, and this puzzled me. What was he thinking about?

"Uh, y-yeah… Utau might have mentioned it early," I said, and he looked even more astounded and this just confused me more.

"Uh huh," he said, nodding. I pause for a moment, trying to figure out what he was so entertained by, and then it hit me. He thought I was talking about the whole kiss thing. It was a question I had, and Utau had talked to him about it before and somehow I didn't notice that it seemed like I was talking about it. My heart started racing once I realized this and I knew I needed to clear things up before he jumped to any conclusions.

"I, um, I was just checking that is was okay for me to go to work with you, tomorrow," I explained, and his face immediately changed back to normal and I sighed internally. "Utau said she had asked you earlier, b-but I just wanted to check," I finished, hoping that I could get a quick answer and return to the safety of my room.

"Yeah, of course you can," he confirmed, smiling slyly.

"A-alright, um.." I said, not really sure if I should say good night or thank you or something.

"Is that all? Any other questions you would like answered?" He asked, smirking.

"W-what?…" I replied, trying to act oblivious, and he just raised both his eyebrows, smirking more. I inhaled sharply and I knew we were both on the same page, he was referring back to that _other_ question.

"U-um no! Th-thank you!" I stuttered before I left.

"'Night Amu," I heard him call out behind me, but I was to worked up to reply.

I hastily walked to my room and as I turned to close the door, I saw Ikuto standing at his, still smirking at me. I stared at him for a second, and in that second, he took the opportunity to wink at me and I quickly closed the door before he could see my reaction, but I still heard him laughing.

I couldn't believe I had been found out, and he was so obviously open about it. I figured sooner or later he would subtly bring it up, but I never expected him to just throw it out there! Why didn't I just listen to myself and go straight to my room. Now I had to face him all day tomorrow, what was I going to do if he brought it up? I am in no way prepared to handle that! I crumpled to my feet, not even making it to my bed before I lost it. I just didn't know what to do anymore.

Eventually I dragged myself to bed and somehow managed to fall asleep despite all the thoughts whirling through my head.

_Yay! It's finished XD Sorry if this chapter was (like the title said) super boring, I am working up to the good parts! It will get interesting eventually! I'm on Spring break so I am going to try to get at least 2 chapters out :3_


	17. 17 Something you wanted to talk about

_This chapter was out so much faster then the previous few! Yay! I am so happy I didn't have to make you guys wait as long :3 I really feel horrible when I do that T_T Still on spring break so the next chapter should be out soon, too :D_

_**Flash back**_

_I couldn't believe I had been found out, and he was so obviously open about it. I figured sooner or later he would subtly bring it up, but I never expected him to just throw it out there! Why didn't I just listen to myself and go straight to my room. Now I had to face him all day tomorrow, what was I going to do if he brought it up? I am in no way prepared to handle that! I crumpled to my feet, not even making it to my bed before I lost it. I just didn't know what to do anymore._

_Eventually I dragged myself to bed and somehow managed to fall asleep despite all the thoughts whirling through my head._

_**End of Flash back**_

Something You Want to Talk About?

I woke up to my alarm at around 8'oclock and it seemed like the second I could think straight, I remembered last night. I sat up and ran my fingers through my hair, not wanting to get ready for today, but I knew I had to, I couldn't just skip on our… date? Would this be called a date? I'm just going to work with him, but still, I'm not sure what I should call it. Either way, I knew I couldn't just not go, I had to force myself passed the embarrassment and get up.

I got out of bed and quickly got dressed, just jeans and plain white V-neck shirt, and I left my hair down, I didn't think I needed to dress in anything super fancy if we were just going to his work. I paced around my room for a few minutes before I built up the nerve to open the door. I knew I had to keep myself together and act more calm then usual. I couldn't let Ikuto know that I was still paranoid about last night or else he might bring I up again, I needed to just relax, or at least try to be. I carefully took a step out the door and took a deep breath. I made my way towards the stairs and I slowly walked down them and I glanced around once I got to the bottom to see if the coast was clear. Then I remembered what happened last time I did this and I turned around and quickly jumped back, startled by Ikuto's closeness. In the process I managed to trip over my own feet and fall on the floor and he started laughing at my clumsiness.

_So much for trying to keep calm,_ I thought to myself.

"I don't even need to _do_ anything to scare you," he chuckled, offering me his hand. I stared at his hand for a few seconds, I knew it was just supposed to be a kind gesture but I couldn't help but become embarrassed by the thought of holding his hand, but I knew I had to be more forward today, anything to keep from exposing myself. I hesitantly reached towards his hand with mine, and then gently grabbed it and he pulled me up.

"Thanks," I muttered, straightening my shirt and he smiled at me. I was trying not to blush, but even so, I could still feel the blood rushing up to my face.

"Ready to go?" he asked, grabbing his keys off the counter.

"Um, yeah I think," I replied, and we walked towards the door.

"Later Utau," I called out before I closed the door behind me.

The drive to his work wasn't long, only about 15 minutes or so, and eventually we pulled up to a small building that almost looked like a mini house. The only thing that made it not look like one was the big sign on the front that read "Violins" in fancy letters. As we stepped out of the car I looked at it more closely; it really was like a tiny cottage or something.

"What and original name," I joked, closing the car door, and he laughed lightly.

"Well, what would you have called it?" he asked, walking up to the front of the shop and unlocking the door. I thought about it for a moment, but nothing came to me.

"I don't know, but I think you could have been a bit more creative," I said, taking one more glance before walking inside after him. He showed me around the inside of the shop, which was also like a house on the inside. There were only two rooms; a front room with I assumed was were he did all the quick things and talked with people, and then there was the backroom which looked more like where he did the long term projects.

After he finished showing me around the shop, he seemed almost eager to point out all the different violins he had in the store, very passionately explaining how old some of them were, and so on. I don't think I ever saw him being more enthusiastic about anything, and right as he was setting one back down, someone walked through the door. He was a kind of short man and he looked like he was about 50 or 60 years old.

"Hello Mr. Marco," Ikuto greeted him, smiling.

"Good morning," the man said, smiling back, and then he glanced over at me. "I'm sorry, I'm not interrupting something else, am I?" He asked, I guess he thought I was another customer.

"Oh, no I'm just here with him," I assured.

"Oh I see," he replied, nodding. "You never mentioned you had a wife," he said to Ikuto and my breath caught in my throat. At first I was too shocked to say anything, but I tried to keep calm so I didn't give anything away.

"W-we're not married," I managed to say, but I could feel my face getting redder by the second.

"Yet," Ikuto quickly added and my eyes widened, shocked by that one little word. He started laughing at my expression, but after a few moments he brushed it off just like any old joke.

"Anyways," he started, looking back at Mr. Marco. "How can I help you?"

"Another broken string," he replied, smiling abashedly and handed the violin to Ikuto.

"I think you just get bored and decide to cut the strings with scissors," Ikuto joked, taking the violin from him.

They just casually talked while he worked on replacing the string, both throwing in a joke here in there and over all, Ikuto seemed really happy doing this. I was watching his expressions as he was fixing it, and he was always smiling and laughing and that made me smile, too. Then he briefly glanced over at me and saw me staring at him and I quickly looked away, blushing, then I heard him laugh.

"W-what?" I asked.

"Enjoying staring at me?" he asked, although he still had his eyes on the violin.

"N-no! I just noticed that you seemed really happy doing this," I pointed out and he started grinning.

"It's a good pass time," he started and then looked at me, "but I'd rather be with you," he said, looking at me for a few more seconds before going back to his work. Of course I started blushing but I think he looked away before he saw, although it's kind of obvious that I would after saying something like that.

For a while I was just looking around the room, examining all the violins and other musical things on the walls and on shelves in the room. There were also pictures here and there on the walls, a lot of them I think were famous violinist, and as I was eyeing one of them, it looked a lot like Ikuto's father. I wondered if he was still traveling around the world playing his violin. I actually don't know a lot about Ikuto's dad, or his mom now that I think about it… I feel like I missed a lot in the span of time I was with Tadase, and maybe because of that, I don't know as much about Ikuto as I thought.

Lost in my thoughts, I didn't notice Ikuto and the man glancing at me, talking in low voices. I tried to make out what they were saying, but I only managed to catch the a word here and there. I heard the man say '_Soon?' _and Ikuto just replied by shrugging his shoulders. I glared at them confusedly and when Ikuto noticed me staring at them he quickly straightened up, acting like they weren't talking about anything suspicious.

"Well, anyway, the string is good as new, if there are any problems, you know you are always welcome to come back," Ikuto explained, handing him the violin.

"I'm sure I'll be back soon," he joked, taking the violin from him and placing it back in it's case. "Have a nice day," he said before leaving.

"You too," Ikuto called out after him.

After the man left, Ikuto went back to working on more of the longer term projects, which were basically fixing violins that had more damage to them then just a broken string. While he did that, walked around the shop, looking at more pictures and reading some of the articles on the walls. A lot of them were just ones praising the shops, others just random segments of big concerts and other things along those lines. As the day dragged on, people would show up, usually no more than 2 or 3 at a time, and I was actually slightly surprised by how much attention a little shop like this got. For the most part, I just watched him work, I thought it was kind of interesting since I didn't really have a clue about violins, yet somehow it was so easy for him.

"If you're bored, you can go look at the other shops around here," Ikuto suggested when it wasn't very busy.

"Sorry, I'm not bothering you am I?" I asked, worried that my presence or walking around the room was distracting to him.

"No not at all, I'm actually happy you're here, it makes it more interesting," he said, smirking at me and I laughed nervously.

"Um, anyways, I'm fine. It's actually kind of interesting watching you," I said and he raised an eyebrow.

"I'm interesting am I?" He asked, teasing me.

"W-work, your work is interesting," I said, trying to clear things up.

"Mmhmm," he nodded, obviously not believing me. I knew I should have just dropped the conversation before it got worse, but I didn't want to make it seem like he won.

"I'm fine, y-you're here, so I'm fine," I said, but after seeing the look on his face I instantly regretted it.

"Oh is that so?" He said, getting up from his working table.

"O-on second thought, I guess I'll go take a look around," I stammered and then quickly walked towards the door. I heard him laugh behind me and say to just make sure I was back in an hour or so.

I meandered around the shopping place for a good 30 minutes, although all I could really do was window shop since I only had a few dollars and couldn't afford anything. I never understood why little shops like these were so expensive. After I walked down the line of shops, I knew I wasn't ready to go back yet, I wanted to make sure there were either people around so Ikuto couldn't ask any weird questions or that by the time I got back, we would be leaving soon. To avoid going back earlier than necessary, I strayed in to the park. It wasn't a super big part, it had small ponds scattered around along with some trees and a wishing fountain in the very center. There were a few little snack stands, ice cream vendors and small playground, so this park was usually full of children, although the ponds and areas that had a few trees were usually occupied by couples. I sighed as I watched a couple under a tree being flirty and kittenish, and when I saw the guy kiss the girl I looked away. Ugh what was wrong with me? It seemed like I couldn't go a second without think about kissing him! I wish I could just figure out why he wouldn't just so I could put my mind at ease.

I walked to the middle of the park and sat on the edge of the fountain, by now most of the kids had cleared out and were chasing birds around. _'Then just ask him, I'm sure he'd be more then happy to tell you,' _As if I could ever ask him something so embarrassing! '_If you really want to kiss him so badly, why don't you just kiss him yourself?' _Yeah, no. I would probably die before I built up the courage to do something like that. I sighed, looking into the water in the fountain. The bottom was covered with pennies and dimes, tossed in by little kids. I thought for a moment, and as stupid as it was, I figured it couldn't hurt. I pulled some loose change out of my pocket and grabbed a dime out of the pile of coins. _I can't believe I'm doing this_ I thought, _but I wish that Ikuto or Utau or just somebody would tell me why Ikuto hasn't kissed me_, and then I took at deep breath before tossing into the fountain. I waited a few second, as if I was actually expecting something to suddenly happened and I laughed at myself internally. Of course I knew nothing was going to come out of tossing a coin in a fountain, but there is always that part of me that says _well, why not?_

I looked at the time and figured that I should probably start heading back now before it got dark. As I was walking out of the park and in the direction of the work shop, I remembered I had some change left over and decided to buy some ice cream from one of the vendors. I walked up to one of them and they just had the general flavors: chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry.

"Can I get a chocolate, please?" I asked the woman running the stand, handing her a dollar.

"Of course," she answered, grabbing some from the inside the cart. As she was scooping it on to the cone, I thought it would be nice if I brought one back for Ikuto, and I had enough for another, so I decided I should.

"Um, can you make that two chocolate cones, actually?" I asked just as she was handing me the first one.

"No problem," she said, and I handed her another dollar.

"They're not both for me," I said, just so I didn't sound like a pig.

"Bringing one back for a boyfriend?" she questioned. I was surprised by how spot on she was, and I took a moment to compose myself.

"Um, yeah," I replied, I don't see why I was getting embarrassed, it's not like I knew her, I guess just the idea of it is just embarrassing in general.

"Here ya go," she handed me the other one.

"Thanks," I nodded, taking it from her.

"Uh huh," she said, and then I started walking back towards the shop, ice cream in hand.

By the time I got back, the sun was just starting to near the horizon, so I figured we would probably be heading back soon. When I walked up to the door, I realized there was a dilemma since I had no free hands and I was about to try opening the door with my feet, but thankfully someone walked out right as I was about to try that. It was a woman with brown shoulder length hair, and she was relatively tall so she looked like she could be a model. She eyed me for a second, but then quickly pushed past me, bumping my shoulder and in the process she caused me to drop one of the ice creams I was holding, and without even apologizing, she walked away. I sighed, that was kind of rude, I mean she could have at least said sorry, but maybe she was in a hurry. Before going inside I picked the cone off of the ground and threw it in a nearby trash can.

I walked inside the shop and saw Ikuto was still sitting at his desk, but he had a puzzled expression on his face, like he was thinking really hard about something. When he noticed me walk in, his face went back to normal.

"Good you're back, I'm just going to pack up some things and we can head home," he said, grabbing some stuff from under his desk and went to the back room.

"Alright," I answered, still waiting by the door with my one ice cream.

I waited around, listening to cases being closed and papers being shuffled and moved around, and after a few more minutes, Ikuto came out from the back.

"Ready?" he asked, turning of a light on his desk.

"Yup," I said, opening the door and holding it for him.

"Aw, where's my ice cream?" he asked jokingly.

"I-I had one, but I dropped it," I said, I figured I didn't need to explain that it got knocked out of my hand.

"Klutz," he said, grabbing my hand that was holding the ice cream and taking a lick.

"H-hey!" I stuttered, shocked my his sudden movement.

"What? You dropped mine," he explained, and I sighed at him.

"You can just have this one," I offered to him, I feel like it would be weird eating it now since he licked it.

"What's with your sudden generosity?"

"You licked it!" I told him, trying to hand it to him but he just looked at it.

"So? It's still good," he replied.

"Yeah, but-

"You're not worried about an indirect kiss or something, are you?" he said teasingly and I just looked at him, trying to be relaxed about it, but I swear, the word _kiss_ triggered something in my brain that just caused me to fluster no matter what context. I was deciding if I should keep it or not now, I felt like either way he would tease me about it. I sighed before throwing it in the trash like the other one and he laughed.

"Come on, before it gets dark," he said, walking towards the car and opening the passenger seat for me.

"Thank you," I said, giving him a small smile, trying to act normal.

He walked around the other side and got in the driver's seat, and we drove home, and I could have sworn I saw that same women for earlier sitting on a bench in front of one of the stores, staring at our car as we passed.

When we got home, I heard talking coming from the kitchen, and at first I thought Utau had invited somebody over, but then I noticed she was just talking on the phone. When she noticed us walk in, she told the person on the other line she had to go and hung up.

"Hey guys," she greeted us, "how was it?" she asked, looking at me.

"It was interesting," I said truthfully in more ways than one.

"Uh huh," she replied, I'm sure she knew that I still hadn't said anything to Ikuto about the whole kissing thing.

"Anyways, Ikuto, someone left a message for you earlier asking you to call them back, I think it was some work thing," she explained, handing him the phone she was just using, and while Ikuto was using the phone, I talked to Utau.

"Who were you talking to earlier?" I asked, curious.

"Oh, um, Kukai called me," she said, I could have sworn I detected a hint of red on her face.

"Really? I thought you guys ended things a while ago,"

"We did, but, I don't know, he said he was sorry, and that he really missed me, and frankly, I missed having some else to talk to. So I think we are just going to start out as friends again and see how things work out," she said.

"Well that will be nice for you, and maybe if you have someone you will stop torturing me," I said jokingly.

"I don't torture you! I just nudge you forward," she explained, of course to me it felt more like she was throwing me forward. "Speaking of which, have you asked him yet?" she asked.

"Shh!" I hissed, putting my hand over her mouth and I glanced at Ikuto, who looked at us confusedly, but then went back to talking on the phone.

"Oh calm yourself, he is on the phone, he's not paying attention," she said, waving my hand away.

"Still! Keep your voice down," I whispered harshly.

"I'll take that as a no, you haven't?" she asked in a slightly lower voice and I shook my head, did she really think I had the guts to ask him something like that? Just as she was about to say something, we both heard Ikuto hand up the phone.

"What's up?" Utau asked him.

"Work up in Matsue*," he said, setting the phone back on the table.

"Oh, ouch," Utau replied.

"Wait what?" I asked, confused.

"The place where I work id kind of a small chain business. My father opened a couple here and there as he traveled, and when he moved on, they were taken over by other people, and sometimes people at the other shops need my help," he explained. "Usually the work doesn't take more than a day or two, but still, some places are farther than others," he finished.

" I see," I replied. I had no idea he left for work so far away sometimes, if it was all the way out there, he could be gone for days.

"You should go pack 'cause you are going to need to leave early tomorrow if you want to get there before dark," Utau suggested, and he sighed, agreeing and walking up stairs. Utau was silent until she heard a door close.

"Well, tonight's the last chance you're gonna have to ask him, or else you'll have to prolong it even more," she said, obviously trying to get me to ask him as soon as possible.

"There is no way I'm asking him tonight," I replied, knowing that I wasn't mentally prepared to handle it. "Plus, I wouldn't want to bother him if he has a big trip tomorrow," I said, trying to sound less pathetic.

"If it's something as important as this, I'm sure he wouldn't mind," she said, smiling wryly and I just shook my head at her.

"Good night Utau," I replied, and then walked up stairs to go to my room.

I was out on the balcony, hoping the cool air would help me think. For some reason I was actually contemplating talking to Ikuto about why he hadn't kissed me yet, but I knew I wasn't actually going to do it. I couldn't handle simply walking to his room and talking about, because frankly, I knew we wouldn't just be discussing it, it would just be an embarrassing conversation. The only good thing that might come out it is that he might kiss me, but even then, I couldn't be positive he would, because for all I know he might be waiting for me to kiss him first.

I decided that I should probably go to sleep soon and just as I was walking towards my bed I heard a knock on my door. I assumed it was Utau because recently she has been coming in my room every night to talk about my situation.

"Come in," I replied, walking towards the door to greet her and I stopped dead in my tracks when I was instead greeted by Ikuto.

"O-oh, I um, I thought you were Utau," I said nervously. I was praying that he didn't bring it up, I was not ready to talk to him about it.

"Nope, it's me," he replied, leaning against the door frame.

"Aren't you supposed to be packing?" I asked, trying to stay clear of any silences.

"Already finished," he answered, smirking slightly. He could definitely tell I was anxious about something.

"Ah, I see," I said, rattling my brain for something to fill the emptiness. "Umm, is there something you wanted to talk about?" I asked, but I wished I had found another way to say that.

"I was just dropping in to say hello since I'll probably be gone before you wake up," he answered. "But my question is, is there something _you_ wanted to talk about?" He asked a few seconds later, and of course my heart starting beating faster then it already was.

"W-well, um, I…" I started, not really able to say a full sentence. A part of me wanted to just ask him now, but I just couldn't. "N-no, nothing comes to mind," I told him, hoping I could put this off for a little longer. I waited for him to say something, but he just laughed.

"Well then," he paused, looking at me, "I guess we'll have to wait until I get home to talk about it." I was stunned by his words, he was obviously seeing if he could get it out of me tonight, but I just tried to act oblivious.

"I-it?" I stammered and gave me that kind of look that meant I knew exactly what he was talking about.

"Um… I…" I attempted to defend my self, but I drew a blank.

"I'll see you in a few days, Amu," he said before closing the door behind him.

I stood there for a few minutes, trying to understand if we were both on the same page, trying to find some loop hole that possibly meant he was talking about something else, but I drew another blank. I collapsed face first onto my bed, not even bother to get under the covers. I was going to be up for hours again, thinking about what I was going to do when he got back.

*_I don't remember if Shugo Chara took place in Tokyo or some other city, I just know it is in Japan, so I'm just going to say that they live in Tokyo and I know that Matsue is like a 10 hour driving or something, but I'm just kind of guessing, so if it doesn't make any geographical sense, I'm sorry._

_This chapter was kind of weird to type XD Being formal with the customers was so different to type! Anyways, I am sure you have also detected that something is up _ Hahaha and this chapter was also really boring and uneventful, my apologies T_T The next NEXT chapter is where things will get a little more interesting!. Annnnnnnnd I want to thank Jeabird for giving me some ideas for the next chapter :D I really appreciate your help!_


	18. 18 Old Friends

_I'm back again :D Hahaha 3 chapters in a week! I'm on a roll x) And I am going to try to get out one more soon, I have to make up for the months I went without updating .-. On with the chapters! And again, thank you Jeabird!_

_**Flash back**_

"_Um… I…" I attempted to defend my self, but I drew a blank._

"_I'll see you in a few days, Amu," he said before closing the door behind him._

_I stood there for a few minutes, trying to understand if we were both on the same page, trying to find some loop hole that possibly meant he was talking about something else, but I drew another blank. I collapsed face first onto my bed, not even bother to get under the covers. I was going to be up for hours again, thinking about what I was going to do when he got back._

_**End of Flash back**_

Old Friends

I opened my eyes and glance at my bedside clock, sighing. I tried to convince myself last night was a dream but I knew it wasn't. '_I guess we'll have to wait until I get home to talk about it._' I think the anxiety was going to kill me before he got back, but at least for the next few days I had time to think and at least try to figure out what I was going to do when he got back.

After changing my clothes, I went down stairs, thoughts still plaguing my mind, and I saw Utau sitting at the table in the kitchen eating breakfast.

"Did you tell him to come talk to me?" I questioned and she just looked at me confused.

"What?" she asked, thinking about what I had said, and then it hit her. "Oh my god! Did you talk about it?" she squealed eagerly, getting up and practically hoping towards me.

"N-no," I said, startled by her enthusiasm after just waking up, "but he tried to," I explained.

"You turned him down?" she demanded.

"Of course I did!" I told her. "I wasn't going discuss the issue with him like some politician! Do you even understand how embarrassing it is to talk about something like that?" I asked, but she just ignored me.

"Ugh, why are you so difficult?" she complained, putting her hand to her face.

"It's your fault for telling him," I explained.

"Well, what would you have done if I didn't?" she replied.

"I… I don't know, but it would have been a little more subtle and a lot less embarrassing."

"Yeah, I'm sure that would have gone according to plan," she sighed, rolling her eyes, and I just glared at her silently. I was about to argue against her when I heard an abrupt knocking, and I stared at the door, confused.

"I wonder who that is," I asked to myself more than Utau.

"Umm," she started and I threw her a puzzled look and she just looked at me.

"What?" I pried and she scratch her head, turning slightly red.

"Well, I'm kind of, maybe going on a date with Kukai," she said, obviously embarrassed about it.

"What happened to just starting out as friends?" I questioned.

"Well, it's not like we are going by ourselves, some of his friends are coming," she paused for a moments. "You should come with us!" she suggested. "I'm really worried about things being awkward so I need someone there to back me up!"

"B-but I don't want to just randomly show up uninvited," I said.

"I invited you, it's fine," she explained quickly and I sighed at her.

"Alright," I said and she smiled happily. I thought it could be fun, so I figured it couldn't hurt. "Are you going to open the door?" I asked her, but she just looked at me nervously.

"Can you open it?" she asked sheepishly and I shook my head, laughing lightly. I opened the door and saw Kukai who looked surprised to see me.

"Kukai!" I said excitedly, running up to hug him. I hadn't seen him an ages.

"Hey Amu!" he said just as energetically, hugging me back.

"How have you been?" I asked.

"I've been okay," he said, slightly hesitant, but still smiling. "You?"

"Umm, it's been pretty crazy," I explained, laughing a little.

"I can imagine," he replied, I was sure Utau had told him about the whole thing with Tadase, but I wondered if he know about Ikuto and I. I turned around and looked at Utau, waiting for her to say something.

"Hi," she finally greeted him, wearing a small smile and Kukai smiled back at her.

"Hey," he said, waving awkwardly.

"Um," Utau started, a little flustered, but she tried to compose herself. "Is it alright if Amu comes with us? She hates being stuck around the house by herself all day," she asked him.

"Yeah of course!" he answered. "The others called me and said they were already at the park," he explained as we walked out to his car.

"Who else is going to be there?" I asked hopefully.

"Who else but Nagi and Kairi?" he said, smiling.

"Really?" I said brightly. " Are Yaya and Rima going to be there?"

"Yaya has work today, but I told her we would stop by for lunch, and I think Rima said she wasn't feeling well so she was staying home" he explained.

"Oh alright," I added, slightly disappointed, but I was so happy I was going to get to see them all today, and I hoped that maybe I could get things off my mind for a while.

When we got to the park, I saw Nagi and Kairi sitting on a bench waiting for us. I jumped out of the car, almost too excited to see them

"Nagi! Kairi!" I said running up and hugging both of them.

"Amu!" Nagi said, surprised to see me.

"Hey Amu," Kairi greeted me a little more calmly.

"I can't believe how long it has been since I last saw you guys!" I exclaimed, overjoyed.

"I know!" Nagi agreed. "How are you?" He asked, and I detected a bit of sympathy in his voice. I guessed that Kukai had passed on the word about me and Tadase to them.

"I've been really good," I answered, smiling brightly. "I'm just so happy to see you guys!" I laughed, I hadn't realized how much I missed them. Nagi looked at me surprised, I assumed he thought I would be a little more depressed after what happened.

"Are you sure?" he asked, shocked, and I nodded in reply. It was nice being able to talk with Nagi again, he always listened to what I had to say and gave me the best advice.

After a few more minutes of catching up, Kukai pulled a soccer ball out of his car and the guys somehow ended up playing a three way soccer game, I didn't really understand how it worked, but they figured it out. While they did that, Utau and I sat back on the grass and watched them since neither of us were athletic enough to compare with their skills, especially Kukai's.

"So, do you think you are gonna get back together?" I asked her and she sighed.

"I don't know, it's all so confusing," she replied, throwing her head back and I thought for a second.

"Well, I guess my question is, do you _want_ to get back with him?" I pried further.

"Um… I miss him a lot, and I thought maybe if were just became friends again I could let go of my feelings, but seeing him again has only made me want to be with him more," she complained, frustrated.

"You could always ask him out yourself," I suggested, I figured I would give her some of her own advice.

"No way I could do that!"

"That's how I feel when you tell me to ask Ikuto about the whole kissing thing," I told her.

"Yeah, but that's different."

"In what way?" I asked.

"Because you know how he feels about you and would tell you anything if you asked him," she explained. "I can't ask Kukai, because I don't know if he still feels the same way as he used to."

"Want me to ask him?" I suggested.

"No! Don't even think about!" I she said anxiously, and I grinned evilly, I could finally get her back. "If you even mention this conversation to him, I will tell Ikuto the most embarrassing things I can think of," she retorted.

"L-like what?" I demanded.

"I don't know, but I will definitely convince him of something embarrassing about you," she explained. I glared at her reluctantly and sighed.

"Fine," I said.

At some point in time, Nagi and Kairi teamed up against Kukai because apparently they were out numbered when it came to skill. As they continued playing, Utau and I continued discussing the problems in her love life, but after about half an hour Nagi and Kairi slowly walked up to us, clearly exhausted, while Kukai on the other hand was still bouncing around.

"Aw come one guys, you can't be that tired," Kukai said energetically, kicking the ball up and down with his knees.

"We accept defeat," Kairi said, collapsing on the ground next to us.

"You win… Again," Nagi admitted, falling to the ground as well, and I laughed.

"Well then, are you guys ready for lunch?" Kukai looked at Utau and I, and of course Nagi and Kairi miraculously came back to life when they heard the word lunch.

The place where we went for lunch was only about 10 minutes away from the park and when we walked in, I saw Yaya and she squealed in excitement.

"Amu!" she squeaked, running up and hugging me.

"Hi Yaya," I laughed, amused by her excitement.

"Hey everyone!" she greeted the others, showing us to a big table in the center of the restaurant. It was weird seeing Yaya working while everyone else goofed off, since it was usually the other way around.

As Yaya would come and go, taking orders and bringing them back, I noticed Yaya and Kairi seemed almost overly friendly. I leaned over to Nagi who was sitting next to me.

"Are Yaya and Kairi together?" I whispered.

"They were," he answered, "but they ended things after a few months because Yaya said it was weird for her being in a relationship, because, well, you know her, although I think they'll end up together again eventually," he said. I nodded my head in agreement.

"Well, they both seem happy enough with that, so I guess that's all that matters," I said.

"Speaking of which," Nagi started again, now looking at me. "You seem to be in pretty high spirits yourself, despite what happened," he pointed out.

"Yeah, I've been dealing with it pretty well. I can honestly I'm happier then I was before, as weird as that sounds," I explained.

"Oh, really?" he said, taken aback. "Did you find someone new?" he asked curiously and I could feel my face turning a shade redder.

"Umm, well," I hesitated, I couldn't really say he was new since I had already known him for so long. "It's more like… I found someone that I had lost before," I tried to explain, although I probably just confused him more. He looked at me for e few moments, processing what I had just told him and then his eyes widened.

"Ikuto?" He asked, more loudly than necessary, and I winced as everyone at the table looked in our direction.

"Um, yeah," I replied, hoping the others wouldn't dig into it.

"What about Ikuto?" Yaya asked right as she was walking up to our table.

"Did you guys know that Amu was with Ikuto now? Or am I out of the loop?" Nagi asked the table.

"What?" Kairi asked.

"No way!" Yaya exclaimed loudly.

"I always knew you two would end up together," Kukai added. "Why didn't you tell us sooner?" he asked.

"Well, I didn't want to just randomly throw it out there," I explained, my face getting redder as people threw question after question at me.

Everyone continued to interrogate me for a few more minutes, but eventually people drifted back to there own conversations. Yaya actually ended up asking Kukai and Utau if there were together still and they both stuttered awkwardly, not sure if it was a yes or a no, so that was a refreshing change of pace. After we finished our food, we still stuck around for a few more minutes, enjoying the time we were all spending together, but as conversations died down, everyone started to stand up, ready to move on.

"Kairi you should stay here until my shift is over! Then we can go somewhere else afterwards!" Yaya said, clinging onto his arm. Kairi blushed slightly, but quickly recomposed himself.

"I guess I can stay," he replied and Yaya bounced up and down happily, they really were just like a couple, minus the romance. At the same time Utau pulled me back from the crowd.

"Hey, um, Kukai said he is going to take me home so we can talk about some things alone, do you mind hanging out with Nagi for a little while?" she pleaded.

"Um, yeah sure, if he's okay with it," I said and she quickly thanked me, running back to Kukai's side and I drifted towards Nagi, and he smiled at me, I'm sure Kukai had already explained it to him.

Yaya and Kairi walked the rest of us out, and we all hugged good bye before parting ways. I looked back at Kukai and Utau who were walking in the opposite direction towards his car and saw them holding hands. I was happy for them, Utau really needed someone.

"Did you have any place in mind that you wanted to drive to?" I asked Nagi, not really sure where we were walking.

"Not really, especially considering I don't have a car," he explained, laughing slightly. "I figured we can just walk home. It should only take about an hour from here and your house is only a few streets away from mine, so we can just assume that that will be enough time for them to talk it out," he finished.

"Okay, that sound fine," I replied.

We walked around for a while, mostly just catching up more. He said that he was kind of with Rima, but she refused to admit it to herself, so they hadn't actually done anything yet, but there were living in the same house. He said things were progressing more and she was being less stubborn about it then before, but they were still working on it. This then lead to Ikuto and I.

"How did things happen between you and Ikuto?" he asked curiously, and I figured I could talk to him about since it was him.

"Well…" I paused, trying to decide where I should start, and I thought the beginning seemed like a good place. "Utau had taken me into her house after I figured out Tadase had been cheating on me, but I thought she just lived alone and when I walked into a room and saw Ikuto sitting there I was shocked. I thought things were going to be really weird and awkward between us, especially after Utau decided to tell me he still had feelings for me. Oddly enough though, just after the first few days, it was almost like it used to be, and I was really happy, and that was when I realized that I might have feelings for him, too. Then this lead to that and eventually he basically forced me to confess," I explained, leaving out most of the embarrassing details.

"Interesting, although I feel like you are leaving out some things," he questioned, hitting the mark. He grinned at me, but then he laughed.

"Anyways, how are things going with you two now?" he mused.

"Umm…" I hesitated, not really sure what to say.

"Oh that doesn't sound good," he predicted. "What's the problem?" he asked and I decided if there was anyone I could to about this, it was Nagi.

"Ah… The thing is…" I hesitated, embarrassed to admit it was bothering me.

"Yes?" he gestured me to keep speaking, and I sighed in defeat.

"We've been, I guess you could say, officially together for almost two weeks, and you would think Ikuto being the straight forward person he is wouldn't be able to keep his hands off me, but…" I trailed off, not sure how to put it.

"But he hasn't kissed you?" he guessed.

"Yeah," I said, putting my hand to my face. I couldn't believe I told him something like that.

"I'll take it asking him why is not an option?" he asked and I nodded in agreement. "And kissing him yourself…" I shook my head before he even finished the sentence.

"Hmmm," he pondered my situation.

"See, but the thing is," I started, breaking his thought process. "He left for a work trip early this morning and he isn't going to be back for a few days, but last night he came to my room and I started panicking because a few days ago Utau told him that I was wondering why he hadn't kissed me because frankly I really wanted him to kiss me. So now he knows that I want to know why he hasn't kissed me yet and Utau had been trying to get me to ask him before he left but since I didn't he came into my room and asked me if I had any questions for him and of course I wasn't going to just ask him then and there, so I told him no trying to act oblivious but we both knew what he was talking about. Then he said that we would talk about it when he got home and he will probably be back the day after tomorrow and I still have no idea what I am going to do if he tries to talk to me about it!" I rambled quickly, and Nagi looked a little overwhelmed.

"Um, let's see…" he said, trying to process everything I just said.

"Ugh, I'm sorry, I just really needed to tell someone that. I've been feeling so panicked about it all I thought I was going to explode if I didn't tell someone, and I know Utau would tell him everything I said if I told her so I couldn't talk with her," I rambled more and he laughed a little.

"Well, the only solution I'm seeing is just suffering through the embarrassment and talking with him," he admitted, smiling apologetically.

"I'm going to die," I complained, burying my face in my hands, and then I felt a hand patting my back.

"I'm sure it will all be fine, I can imagine it is embarrassing for you, but for one thing I'm sure he has a good reason for not kissing you yet, and another thing is, after you get passed this, I'm sure he'll kiss you all the time!" He said, smiling and I blushed at his words.

"A-all the time, huh?" I said, laughing nervously and he laughed at me.

"Same old Amu," he paused for a moment, thinking. "Who knows, maybe he isn't kissing you for the same reason you refuse to kiss him," he suggested. And I threw him a puzzled look.

"Why would Ikuto be embarrassed and nervous about kissing me? He is probably the most composed person I know," I said.

"Well, maybe that's because he is hiding it from you," he explained. "He might have been worried about rushing you into things at first," he paused, thinking. "But then again, if he knows that you want to know why he hasn't kissed you, it's probably safe to assume that he knows you want to kiss him, too… Maybe he has some sort of secret plan," he said jokingly, but now he had my mind all over the place.

"When we were younger he didn't seem to have a problem with teasing me like that," I told him.

"Exactly, because when you were younger, he was just _teasing_ you, now that you're older he is taking things more seriously," he said.

"But he still teases me now, too!" I argued.

"I guess it all just depends on the circumstances," he pointed out, and I sighed.

"Thanks," I told him. "I'm still not sure how I'm going to go about this, but it feels good to talk about it," I said, smiling.

"Not a problem, you know I'm always here to listen," he said, smiling back.

We walked for about another half an hour in a friendly silence until Nagi pointed to a small house at the at of the street.

"That's my house," he said.

I looked at it more as we got closer to it and it started to remind me of a doll house. When we finally reached the front yard, I looked inside one of the windows and saw Rima looking outside; she was still as tiny as ever with long blonde hair, and she looked like she was a doll inside of the house. I waved my hand and smiled at her, and when she recognized me, she started smiling, too and disappeared from the window. After a few seconds the front door opened and Rima came running out, wearing a big smile on her face.

"Amu!" she called out right before hugging me.

"Hi Rima," I greeted her. It really felt like I haven't seen all of my friends in years, so it was really nice being able to talk to them all again. After a few more moments she let go of me and looked at Nagi, whose arms were open, waiting for her to hug him, too, but she just looked at him for a second before returning her gaze back to me.

"Are you okay?" she asked, her expression going from overjoyed to worried.

"Yeah, why?" I asked, confused.

"I heard things happened between you and Tadase, so I figured you would be really depressed right now," she stated.

"Well-

"Amu has someone else now," Nagi interjected.

"What?" she asked surprised. "Who?"

"Um-

"Cat boy," Nagi answered before me.

"Ikuto!" Rima demanded.

"Who else?" Nagi said, and I didn't even try to say anything because I knew he was just going to cut me off. Rima looked at me, seeing if it was true and just smiled at her.

"When did you guys get together?" she asked curiously.

"Um, a week or two ago," I told her, blushing slightly.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner!" she demanded, hitting me playfully.

"I haven't really processed it myself enough to tell other people yet," I said. "I think you would understand," I retorted, grinning at her and she looked at me confused.

"What are you talking about?" she questioned.

"Come on, I think we should probably let Amu go before it get's too dark," he said nervously, obviously worried about her understanding what I meant. "It was nice seeing you again Amu," Nagi said, waving good bye before walking towards the door of the house.

"Amu we need to talk more soon!" Rima said before quickly following after Nagi, waving good bye one more time before closing there door behind her.

It took me about ten more minutes to get back to my house, and when I got there, I saw Kukai's car still parked on the street, I guess that was probably a good sign. As I walked up the drive way, I heard the indistinct voices coming from the TV in the living room. I decided that I should probably make sure I wasn't interrupting anything before going inside, so I peered through the window and looked around until I spotted them both on the couch. They didn't look like they were talking, more like they were just watching a movie, but I noticed that Kukai had his arm around Utau and I smiled. I guess they were back together now. I was contemplating trying to sneak passed them, but then I saw Kukai suddenly look at Utau and kiss her, I sighed, looking away. I figured I should just wait out here until Kukai left since I didn't want to awkwardly kill the mood, but seeing them made me realize how much I really wanted to kiss Ikuto. I also just wanted to be able to sit with him like that, but I knew I could never do that without being teased about it.

I sat on a bench on the porch, assuming that it would probably only be a few more minutes before Kukai left, so I decided to just wait for him to leave. After a about half an hour, I closed my eyes, tired from all the excitement of today and I eventually dozed off.

"…Amu?" I heard a voice called my name in a distance, and my eyes slowly fluttered open.

"Wha…?" I asked, out of it. I guess I had fallen asleep for longer then I thought.

"You could have come inside you know," she said, grabbing my hand and helping me up.

"Sorry, I just didn't want to interrupt you guys," I told her, although I think my words were a little slurred, but then I walked inside and she followed behind me.

"Well, thanks for that," she said, smiling at me gratefully.

"Yeah, no problem" I waved her off. Despite the fact that I just slept for an hour or two, I was still exhausted, so I just went up the stairs and was planning on going straight to bed.

When I got to my room, I didn't even bother changing and I crawled into bed and passed out the second my eyes closed.

_Hehe a nice little social happy chapter : ) Amu needed to get things off her mind so it's a good thing! She has been way to stressed out lately x) Nothing super romantic or fluffy in this chapter, at least not with Amu, Utau on the other hand… Hahaha x3_

_See you at the next exciting chapter :D_


	19. 19 Cheap Tricks

_It's finally here! Sorry for the long wait, I had some things I kept meaning to fix, but kept putting it off and then finals came and I was busy but it's finally summer now! :D Hahaha Anyways, enjoy ;)_

_**Flash back**_

"_Well, thanks for that," she said, smiling at me gratefully._

"_Yeah, no problem" I waved her off. Despite the fact that I just slept for an hour or two, I was still exhausted, so I just went up the stairs and was planning on going straight to bed. _

_When I got to my room, I didn't even bother changing and I crawled into bed and passed out the second my eyes closed._

_**End of Flash back**_

Cheap Tricks

I woke up the next morning at around 11, and despite getting as much sleep as I did, I was still tired when I woke up. I lay in bed for about another half an hour, but I knew I wasn't going to be able to go back to sleep and as tired as I was I forced myself to get up. I went down stairs to get breakfast when I saw a note from Utau sitting on the counter. She said that she had gone out and would be back later tonight. I sighed at the note, putting it back down. I guess it was going to be one of those days, but at least yesterday I got to go somewhere and see everyone.

I meandered around the house for a few hours, traveling mostly between my room, the living room, and the kitchen. I contemplated going for a walk, or maybe stopping my Rima's place to hang out for a while, but decided against it since I knew she hadn't been feeling well yesterday.

I went up stairs to try and find something to do, maybe go read a book or something. When I got to my room I paused when I noticed that the door of the room across from me was jarred open, and by the room across from me, I meant Ikuto's room. I starred at the his room for a few seconds and even though I kept telling myself '_Don't do it, you're going to regret it. Wonder if he knew you went into his room? And he specifically had left the door open like this to tempt your perverse, curious mind, and now you are just falling into his trap. How will you explain yourself? There will be no way out of this if you even take one step in there.' _Nevertheless, I ignored my own advice and cautiously opened the door, waiting for something or someone to announce that it had caught me, but of course nothing happened. I took a few steps inside and looked around. His room was about the same size as mine but with no balcony, and it was relatively dark inside. There was a bed and a dresser with a TV on top of it and a couple other furnishing, but other then that, it was a pretty basic room. I continued to walk around and I looked out the window which looked upon the side of another house, so it wasn't such a great view.

After a few more minutes of scouting around and stalking his room, I was about to leave, but when I walked past his bed, a familiar scent filled my nose. I took a deep breath and realized the smell, his smell specifically, was coming from his bed.

"He must go to sleep with his hair still wet or something," I said out loud to myself. It smelled so much like him, I thought about doing something I know would kill me if I was found out, but there wasn't anybody here, and I figured if he somehow did figure out I was in his room, things couldn't get much worse. I took a deep breath and paused, internally shaking my head at myself for doing this, but then jumped onto his bed. When I landed, his smell became even stronger and I put my face into his pillow and took another deep breath. It smelled so… well, I wasn't sure what to call it, I just know that it smelled like him; so nostalgic. I smothered myself deeper in to his pillow and covers and simply lay there and take in his scent. I knew this was probably weird, but I suppose it wasn't _that_ weird; I think I even remember him doing this to me one time. I smiled as I reminisced on the past moments we had had together, and I ended up nodding off, my mind overrun by happy memories.

I don't know how much time had passed, but the room wasn't as bright as it once was, so I presumed it had been a few hours. I blinked my eyes a few times to readjust them and it started to sink in that someone could be home soon, or worse, already home, and I quickly, but silently sat up and swung my legs over the edge of the bed, but stopped suddenly, looking up at the doorway. Utau was standing in the doorway, looking confused, but I was sure she was also amused by this. We stared at each other in silence for a few more moments before she spoke.

"Um, hey Amu…" she said awkwardly.

"…Hi…" I replied just as uncomfortably.

"What are you doing in here?" she asked.

"Um, well," I started, not really sure how to explain this. Anything I said would lead to my own embarrassment and I was sure she would tell Ikuto, and I sighed, not knowing what to say. "Well, there isn't really anyway for me to explain this with out sounding odd, so I'll be forward," I paused, standing up. "I was really tired, _so_ tired, that I somehow managed to mix up which room was mine and I ended up in the wrong bed room, and it happened to be Ikuto's," I lied obviously, trying to cover up my embarrassing story. "I mean, it could have been your room, but I guess since your's is farther away the chances are lower and I just, ended up in here…somehow…" I trailed off, clapping my hands together awkwardly.

"Uhuh, I'm sure that is exactly what happened," she answered doubtfully.

"Yup." I replied, and she just nodded at me skeptically. "Well, I think I'm just gonna head down stairs now, I'm kind of hungry and what not-

"You saw the door was open, walked in, smelled him, jumped onto his bed and fell asleep while still smelling his bed," she said bluntly, cutting me off.

"Wha-? N-no, w-why would I do something like-" and she just raised her eye brows at me, and I knew she knew what I had been doing in the first place. I was just trying to pathetically cover it up and hoping that she would be so dumbfounded by my horrible excuse I could slip past her, but I've known from the start that wasn't going to happen.

"I'm sure Ikuto will be interested to hear about this when he gets home tomorrow," she smirked at the word tomorrow.

"Tomorrow?" I questioned frantically. "When tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow night," she answered, turning around and I followed after her as she walked down stairs.

"But why so soon?" I questioned further as we reached the bottom.

"What do you mean? It's been three days, one day to go there, another for work, one day to get back."

"It doesn't feel like it has been three days…" I complained.

"Probably because you have been sleeping for the majority of the time," I heard her whisper under her breath.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner? I need more time to mentally prepare myself!"

"Hey, be thankful I told you at all, I could have just let his return surprise you, but luckily I'm in a good mood so I told you. Be happy," she replied bluntly. I processed her words, and then began to wonder why she was in a good mood considering most of the time she was always grumpy.

"Why are you in such a good mood?" I asked, switching topics. She seemed a slightly taken aback, blushing.

"I just am, one of those days, don't question it," she explained defensively.

"Where have you been all day?" I pried further.

"I was… out," she replied nervously.

"With Kukai?" I guessed since she usually only got like this when it was involving him.

"Yes! Why does it matter? Why are you trying to get so involved in my private life?" she complained anxiously, obviously embarrassed by that fact that she was happy because of him. I through her an 'are-you-kidding-me' look since she can't really be saying that considering she tries to get involved with every small aspect of my life with Ikuto. "Okay, I guess I shouldn't be the one to say that, but still, I just feel so weak now!" she complained. "I tried to tell myself that when we got back together I wouldn't fall for him as hard as I did the last time, but after a whole day of hanging out and just being together," she paused, putting her face in her hands, "I ended up falling even harder for him than the first time!" she finished, ruffling her hair in frustration.

"Well, why is that a bad thing? If you're happy, then it shouldn't really matter how much you care about him," I advised.

"I know, but, I'm just worried that if we are to ever break up again, then I will be even more upset and I just don't think I'll be able to go through that again," she sighed, irritated and confused.

"Well, if you guys can fix things now so quickly, then I'm sure it will be fine. Maybe your bond will be stronger or something since you went through a break up before, or something like that…" I explained, not really sure how to give advice about something like this. She looked up at me and saw the skepticism in my face. It's not like I thought things weren't going to work out between them, I was just kind of confused about their whole situation.

"You're advice is not good to me if you aren't even sure about it yourself," she said, raising an eyebrow and I just smiled at her sheepishly.

We talked for another half an hour oh so while we ate dinner. She wasn't sure about her whole situation with Kukai, and I was pretty much screwed tomorrow because I still had know idea what I was going to do or say and my only options were to either a) hide in my room and away from Ikuto for as long as I could, which I'm sure wouldn't be very long, or b) face him and try to avoid the topic for as long as possible. I guess there were also mixes of the two options, but either way, I was sure it was going to end up with me getting embarrassed out of my mind. It was around 10 when Utau yawned loudly and said she was going to bed.

"You should probably sleep in your _own_ bed tonight," she pointed out before walking up stairs. "He might just end up coming home early with your luck," she finished and I started to blush as I though about that happening.

"You aren't actually going to tell him that, are you?" I pleaded, although I was sure she was going to anyways.

"Oh no, of course not Amu, why would I do something so horrible?" she said sarcastically and I sighed. "Good night," she called out before going up.

"'Night," I called back, and after a few more minutes of thinking, I went upstairs to my own room.

_What am I going to do? _I thought as I was lying down on my bed, staring aimlessly at the ceiling. There was no way I could face him tomorrow! I wasn't ready, I still needed to come up with some sort of plan or excuse to avoid the conversation and I will definitely die of embarrassment if I have to talk with him.

"Ugh," I groaned, rolling on my face and closing my eyes. I couldn't even escape my thoughts because I wasn't tired anymore since I had been sleeping all day.

I tried hopelessly to fall asleep for an hour or two, knowing that I wouldn't be able to, so I just ended up lying around. My thoughts were whirling through my head so fast I couldn't even think straight. I tired to come up with a solution, just some kind of escape route to avoid Ikuto for as long as I could, but I couldn't come up with anything. Even so, I kept trying to figure something out, but at some point my thoughts started to mix with my dreams and despite how much I had slept already, I drifted off into a very light sleep.

I woke up and it felt like I had only just blinked, I guess my mind had been awake all night trying to unconsciously think of a solution. I lay down in bed for a while longer. I didn't want to get up, I didn't want to know what time it was, I simply wanted to trap myself in my room forever, but I knew I had to leave my room eventually and after a few more minutes, I made myself get up. Since it was still light out, and my clock said it was only 10, I knew I was safe.

Although I knew he wouldn't be back yet, I was still cautious as I went down stairs, and that was when I saw another note from Utau saying that she wouldn't be back until later this afternoon.

"Utau!" I said to myself.

How could she leave me all by myself? What was I going to do if Ikuto got home before her? I paced around the house in panic, my heart racing as I thought about Ikuto coming home. Wonder if he came home earlier? Utau's not here to distract him for me, so there would be no way I could just hide up in my room. Oh my god I don't think I could handle that.

Time seemed to both fly by and go by slowly and the next thing I knew when I glanced at the clock in the kitchen, it was almost 6. Utau still wasn't back and I was panicking more than ever because afternoon was turning into evening and if she didn't get back soon I was going to have to face Ikuto all by myself. When I suddenly heard the lock on the door click, I literally jumped out of my seat, staring at the door in fear. When the door opened and I saw Utau's face, I sighed in relief.

"Where the hell have you been!" I demanded, still panicked.

"Whoa, what's your problem?" she asked, closing the door.

"You left me here all by myself!" I pointed out.

"So? You're a big girl, I figured you could handle it."

"B-but Ikuto is coming back tonight! Wonder if he came home and you weren't back?"

"Well then, that would have been interesting," she explained, grinning at the idea.

"For you!" I exclaimed, still freaking out despite her calmness.

"Look, usually when he get's back from long trips like this, he is pretty exhausted and he goes straight up to bed when he gets home," she explained. "But if you are really that worried about it, we can talk about it later tonight," she suggested.

"You'll help me?" I asked, slightly hesitant since she was the one who got me into this mess in the first place.

"Well, maybe not help you, but at least you can talk it out," she said. I guess that was better than nothing.

"But if you want to talk, we should probably talk down here since Ikuto's room is right next to yours and he might hear us talking," she pointed out, and it was probably a good idea since I tend to ramble a lot.

"Okay, but why can't we talk now?" I asked, because I didn't know how much longer I could hold all this stress in.

"Well, Ikuto texted me a few minutes ago saying he would be home in about 20 minutes and I just kind of assumed that it's not enough time for you to talk."

"Twenty minutes?" I complained desperately.

"Yeah, although I'm sure he's not going to try anything the moment he gets home, it would be a good idea to hide out in your room for the next hour or two," she advised.

"Wonder if he tries to come into my room though?" I asked.

"I'm sure he won't, but if he does, then I guess we will have something else to talk about," she smirked, and I didn't even want to think about that happening.

"Um, I'm going to go to my room now, I guess… I'll see you later tonight," I told her.

"Alright," she replied and a made my way up the stairs, then locked myself in my room.

About 15 minutes later, I heard the front door open and indistinct chatter coming from down stairs. My heart started racing as I heard the chatter and footsteps start drifting up stairs, and for a moment I thought Utau was going to bring Ikuto to my room so we could talk. Then I heard his door close and another pair of foot steps walking down the hall to Utau's bed room, and that door closed, too. I waited for a few minutes, listening for any signs of movement or walking and when I didn't hear anything, I sighed. I don't know how, but I think I managed to avoid the conversation for one more day. Now that I knew I was safe for the night, I spent the next hour or so really thinking of what I was going to do when tomorrow came. I played out all kinds of scenarios in my head, although I knew they would never go according to plan, but it helped. Plus it was better then sitting around and doing nothing, but I guess the stress of today really got to me, and I ended up falling asleep after thinking so much.

My eyes fluttered open, and at first I panicked. I wasn't ready to go out and face Ikuto, but then I looked out my window and saw it was still dark and when I looked at my clock it said it was only 11pm and I was relieved. Then I remembered that I was suppose to talk with Utau tonight and I jumped out of bed, my feet making the floor creak when I stood up and I winced. I had to make sure I was quiet or Ikuto might wake up and I was sure Utau would leave me alone with him in a heartbeat.

I slowly crept down stairs, cringing each time one of the steps made a noise. I was worried that maybe Utau grew tried up waiting up for me, but when I saw the TV was on, I was surprised she hadn't. I was so glad she offered to talk to me now, because I was really starting to stress about this whole thing and I need some advice. When I walked around the couch to sit with her, I immediately stopped breathing and froze in shock.

I saw Ikuto laying on the couch, looking like he was watching TV, and I was sure I was dead, now was when he was going to trap me and force me to talk and I waited for him to say or do something. I kept waiting, my heart racing faster, but when I took at better look at him, I noticed his eyes were closed and I was able to breath again. I kept looking at him for a few more moments, to scared to move or make a noise, I had to make sure he didn't wake up, although he looked like he was dead asleep. _I'm sure you could probably kiss him now and he wouldn't wake up, nobody would know except you_. No! Oh my god I can't believe I even thought about that. What would I do if he woke up? How would I explain myself? He would never let me live it down and he would call me a pervert everyday for the rest of my life! It isn't worth risking, no matter how much I actually wanted to. I quietly turned around, deciding that I would go up and see if Utau was still in her room.

"Amu~" I heard Ikuto say, and my breath caught in my throat. I remained completely silent, hoping that because he couldn't see me, he would think he was just dreaming or something and go back to sleep.

"I know you're there," he spoke again and I flinched, knowing I couldn't hide anymore.

"S-sorry, I, um, I thought you were Utau, so, um, I'll just go back upstairs and-

"Hmmm talk with Utau this late? It must be a secret," he pointed out, still not looking at me.

"I-it's not a secret!" I stuttered frantically.

"Then come talk with me about it," he suggested.

"Um no, I… I can only talk about it with Utau," I explained, trying to stall.

"Ah, so it is a secret," he started, "and seeing as you can only talk about it with Utau, it must be about me," he explained. My heart was racing so fast it felt like it was going to jump out of my throat.

"I never said that," I retorted weakly.

He didn't say anything, and I contemplated running up stairs before he did, but then I saw his hand gesture me to come sit with him. I hesitated, knowing that I should just ignore him and go straight up stairs, only putting this off for another few hours until morning came. I don't know why, but some part of me wanted to just get it over with, and when I regained the ability to move, I slowly walked around the couch and sat down as far from him as possible. I could feel that my face was bright red, but since the only light came from the TV, I was hoping it wasn't to noticeable. We sat in silence for a few more moments, but I could feel his eyes on me. I merely looked down at my feet to avoid eye contact. After a while, the silence and the atmosphere was killing me and eventually I couldn't stand it anymore and I glanced at him. Of course I immediately regretted it, because I don't know if it was the lighting or the setting or whatever, but something about the way he was looking at me was almost hypnotizing and I couldn't bring myself to look away. We just stared at each other, but it felt more like he was trying to read me by looking into my eyes.

"So what exactly was it that you wanted to talk about?" he asked, still not looking away and it took me a second to find words.

"I…I said, it was nothing," I answered, lost in his eyes.

"Is that so?" he questioned, pausing for a few seconds "because that's not what Utau's tells me," he said and with those words I felt myself panicking more.

"W-what?" I asked, trying to act oblivious. I realized I had been looking at him for way to long and I looked away for a second to recompose myself, and even though I knew I shouldn't, I looked back at him.

"Why do you keep staring at me like that?" I stammered, trying to stray away from what he was talking about. He just raised and eyebrow at and smirked and I quickly looked away again. I couldn't figure out why he was making me so especially nervous right now, but his eyes were just so mesmerizing I could barely stand it anymore.

"Utau told me something quite interesting the other day," he paused, and I kept staring at him silently. "About something that was troubling you," he continued, clearly dragging this out for as long as he could. "What was she said?" he asked, looking away and acting like he was trying to remember it. "Oh yeah," he said, looking back at me. "'Amu wants you to ki-

I quickly stood up, interrupting him right before he admitted the inevitable truth because I knew I couldn't stand sitting here so close to him any more.

"O-obviously you are tired, saying such weird things, so I'll just let you go back to sleep and-

"kiss her," he finished, cutting me off and I could hear my heart beat in my ears.

"'Amu wants you to kiss her' I think was what she said," he quoted, standing up as well. "Of course, I told her: 'That can't be right, my Amu wasn't that perverted.' but she insisted that it was the truth, so she told me to wait down here tonight so that I could ask you myself," he finished, and I just continued to stare at him in shock.

"Well?" he asked, trying to pry the answer out of me, but I wasn't planning on confessing so easily.

"Clearly Utau is just trying to set me up!" I retorted defensively.

"How so?" he questioned, seeming amused by my pathetic attempts to stall him.

"T-to get me in this kid of situation," I stuttered more.

"What kind of situation?"

"Th-this kind!" I said, waving my arms around frantically. Suddenly Ikuto took a few steps towards me, closing the distance between us and grabbing my arms.

"I don't know what 'this kind' is," he explained, mimicking what I just did with my arms and I was too surprised by his sudden closeness to speak. "Please elaborate," he requested, getting close to my face and I could feel myself blushing more. I closed my eyes, trying to recompose myself but it was hard. He was acting kind of strange, like usually in this kind of situation he would simply be teasing me, but there seemed to be a mix of seriousness in it.

"A-always getting me in… Embarrassing situations," I explained, barely able to breathe.

"I don't think that's Utau's doing, I think it's your own stupidity," he said, wearing a smirk on in his face. I felt his grip on my arms loosen and I quickly pulled my arms back to my chest and he started laughing. I looked at him for a moment, seeing if he was going to try anything else, but he just looked at me smiling and I was kind of disappointed.

"I'm not stupid," I mumbled, turning away from him and walking towards the stairs. I couldn't believe he was teasing me about something like this again. I actually thought he was being serious, too. He always did this, acting so serious about something, and I keep falling for his stupid tricks and end up getting my hopes up.

Then, all of the sudden I felt Ikuto snake his arms around my waist and I gasped, completely taken aback.

"Now let's not forget the subject at hand," he said, resting his head on my shoulder.

"Wh-wha-what are you doing?" I stammered, completely flustered by his action.

"Do you want me to kiss you?" he asked straight forwardly.

"W-what?" I asked again.

"Do you want me to kiss you?" he repeated a little bit slower.

"H-how can you ask that so c-calmly?"

"Because," he paused, putting his face even closer to mine, "I want an answer," he said in a more serious tone. I turned my face away from his, nervous that his face was so close to mine and I had trouble trying to talk.

"Well?" he asked again after a few more seconds.

"I…" I managed to say, but it was hardly a whisper. I'm sure he already knows the answer, but he just had to make sure he embarrassed me as much as possible before I admitted it. I let out an exasperated sigh, giving in to him.

"O-of course I do…" I said quietly, and both of us were silent.

"That's what I thought," he confirmed, trailing his hands on my stomach as he let go of me. I turned around to face him, taking a few steps back.

"W-what?" I asked, very confused. I figured that at least by now he would have kissed me.

"What?" he replied, acting oblivious.

"That's it?" I questioned him, finally starting to recompose myself.

"Yeah, pretty much," he explained, smirking widely.

"Y-you made me go through all that just to get an obvious answer?" I demanded, almost aggravated that he still hadn't kissed me.

"Aww, it wasn't obvious to me," he said jokingly.

"Ugh, now who is the stupid one," I complained, even though I had calmed down, I could still feel how red my face was. I heard him chuckled behind me and I sighed.

"Ah, whatever… I'm going back to bed," I told him, turning around and walking towards the stairs. I was completely exhausted now, although I know I wouldn't be able to sleep anytime soon after all of this. I only made my way up the first few steps when I heard Ikuto.

"Amu," he called out. I was so tired of all of this, but I turned around anyways and as always, I was stunned by his closeness. I waited for him to say something but he was just looking at me, wearing a small smirk. I looked back at him, confused, but then he slowly leaned his face closer to mine and for a small moment, maybe a few seconds, I felt his lips press lightly against mine, and it was like time stopped.

After he pulled away, he looked me in the eye and didn't say anything. I stood there, frozen, but then I started smiling, unable to stop myself. I couldn't even begin to describe what I was feeling. I was just so unbelievably happy, and it felt like everything was perfect. My heart was racing and I knew I was blushing, but I just didn't care right now, even if he saw it.

"Good night Amu," he whispered softly, smiling back before he walked past me and I stood there until I heard his door close.

After a few more moments, I slowly walked up the rest of the stairs, unable to stop smiling. I wouldn't be able to stop thinking about this all night, except there was one problem, now that I knew what it felt like to kiss him, I hated to admit that I wanted to kiss him again. When I opened the door to my room, I saw Utau lying on my bed.

"What are you doing?" I asked her, and she jumped off the bed.

"About time you got back up here!" She exclaimed, now sitting on the bed. I laughed, closing the door behind me.

"What happened? I want details!" she pried excitedly and I kept smiling at her.

"If I could be mad at you right, I would be, setting me up like that was cheap," I explained to her, but of course I didn't sound mad at all.

"Why can't you be mad?" she asked impatiently, and I sighed.

"To happy…" although that wasn't really the best word, it was more like I was overjoyed, thrilled, ecstatic. I sat down next to her, and then collapsed on my back, still smiling. Utau continued to antagonize me and insist that I tell her about what happened. I eventually did, blushing more as I got closer to telling her he kissed me, and when I told her, she bounced up and down happily.

We continued to talk about it for the next few minutes, and I was sure she was going to tell Ikuto how happy I was now, but at the moment I couldn't care less. Soon after, I told her I wanted to be alone for a while so that I could really absorb what just happened and she was okay with it, but before she left she reminded me that now I have to face him tomorrow morning and even though I was over the moon, the thought of that still made my stomach flip. What was it going to be like now? Was he going to kiss me all the time, or would it always be like this? Teasing me until I kiss him now? Or something else? I pondered these things for a while, but I put them out of my mind soon after because I really just didn't care right now. I crawled into my bed, smiling still even as I was closing my eyes, I would try to stop, but every time I though about it, my lips just unconsciously turned upwards, and sooner or later I fell asleep, still thinking.

_I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I know I did :3 I adore the kiss scene way to much XD It's all cute and romantic and sweet and yeah x) I wish I could have portrayed it better but it's fine x) Not really sure what I am gonna do now though .-. I need to start moving towards the plotline more XD I don't want to bore you guys to death Hahaha. Yay for summer! I'll try to get the chapter at asap :3_


	20. 20 Just A Kiss

_So I shouldn__'__t be allowed to type fan fictions any more, it should just be made a law __'__Sarah is a horrible updater and her fanfic typing privileges are hereby revoked__'_

_Yeah sounds good._

****Flash back****

I crawled into my bed, smiling still even as I was closing my eyes, I would try to stop, but every time I though about it, my lips just unconsciously turned upwards, and sooner or later I fell asleep, still thinking.

****End of Flash back****

I woke up the next morning around eight to the sound of talking coming from down stairs. I smiled when I heard Ikuto talking to Utau, my thoughts drifting back to last night. I knew I really shouldn't be that worked up over a small kiss, but I just couldn't help myself. I slowly got dressed and ready for the day before I headed down stairs, wondering what would await me.

When I got down stairs, I saw Ikuto and Utau talking in the kitchen. Ikuto noticed me first and a smirk played across his lips when he saw me. Utau noticed him and turned around to see me.

"Hey, you're up early," she said, acting completely oblivious to the atmosphere in the room.

"Yeah, I guess," I said, laughing lightly. I kept glancing at Ikuto and every time he would be looking back at me with that smug look and my heart would jump when my eyes met his. Utau nodded in reply, and then it was silent for a few moments.

"I'm just going to, step upstairs and do… something," she explained, heading towards the stairs. I looked at her, confused. I would have expected her to want to stay down here to see how much she could embarrass me about what happened the night before. I watched her until she disappeared at the top of the staircase. Once she was gone, I noticed how silent it was, though I could still feel Ikuto staring at me. I waited a few seconds before turning around to look at him, and as I thought, he was still looking.

"So?" he asked, leaning against the nearby wall.

"So?" I answered, walking past him and towards the fridge and opened it, trying to avoid a direct confrontation.

"Utau told me about how… ecstatic you were last night."

"I have no idea what you are talking about," I replied, hiding my face behind the door of the fridge.

"Really now?" I heard him say, although his voice was closer then before. I turned around and saw him standing with his arm against the fridge only a foot or two away. "Do I have to remind you?" He asked, leaning in closer. I blushed lightly at his closeness, but being the stubborn person I was, I avoided his question and ducked underneath his arm, escaping from his trap. He turned around to face me.

"Still trying to deny it?"

"Deny what?" I replied, still trying to dodge his questions.

"We both know you want me to kiss you, you admitted it last night."

"I said it in the spur of the moment." He let out a laugh at my reply.

"So you don't want me to kiss you?" he raised an eye brow, trying to figure out what game I was playing at. I pondered his words for a second before answering.

"I never said that," I lied, I knew I said it, but I didn't want to admit it aloud. He laughed again, amused by my vague responses. He leaned back up against the fridge, staring at me intently. I looked back at him, attempting hopelessly to read him.

"Is this what it's going to be like every time I wan into a room with you two now?" Utau asked, seeming to appear out of nowhere near the dining room table. He turned his attention to Utau for a moment, smiling at her, and she shook her head in response, gathering stuff from the table and tossing it into her purse.

"Why don't you come to work with me today?" he suggested, looking back at me. I was about to answer when suddenly Utau interrupted.

"Nope, she's mine today," she stated, zipping up her bag.

"Well then, never mind," he chuckled lightly. I threw him a slightly apologetic look, since I didn't really have a say in anything when it came to Utau making decisions.

"I'll see you later," he said, placing a hand on the side of my face a kissing me quickly before walking out the door. I was taken aback and by the time I had recovered he had already walked out the door. I looked over at Utau who let out a slightly exasperated sigh.

"I think you two are going to drive me insane," she explained, slinging the bag onto her shoulder.

"Is that going to happen all the time now…?" I asked out loud, not sure if could keep up a stubborn charade forever.

"After making him wait for so long, yeah probably," she answered. "Come one, we need to get going," she switched topics, walking towards the door and I quickly followed behind.

We got to her work at about nine, and by that time the building was already buzzing with people. I was surprised, I knew her recording company was big, but I didn't know it was _this_ big. When we walked through the doors Utau was greeted by what seemed like a million people, though I might as well have been invisible to them. It took us a few minutes to get around everyone, but we finally got to her studio that had significantly less people and I sighed in relief.

"Now imagine having to go through that almost everyday," she said, setting her bag on a desk. I didn't even want to think about it.

"Utau!" I heard someone call from the doorway and was worried we were about to be attacked by more paparazzi. Instead I was surprised to see Sanjou-san. "Oh and Amu! How nice to see you again, it's been to long," she smiled but then quickly returned her attention back to Utau. "You're late." Sanjou stared her down, but she just waved her off.

"Relax, we don't start for another twenty minutes," Utau reassured. Sanjou was about to say something but then just sighed.

"Come on then, we need to hurry up and get you ready," she said, walking out the door.

"Wait, where are you going?" I asked, stopping Utau before she could follow.

"I have to go record. Did you expect me to just sit around with you all day?"

"Well then what am I supposed to do? I can't follow you into a recording room."

"Um, just wander around, I'm sure you'll find something to do," she smiled before darting out the door.

"Wait you just leaving me by myself?" I called out after her.

"You're a big girl, I'm sure you can handle it!" She shouted back. I ducked out the door to try and go after her, but by that time she was already out of sight. I sighed, annoyed. I can't believe she dragged me along just so I could be bored out of my mind somewhere other than at home.

I finally gave up walking and chose to sit on a bench in the lobby. There weren't as many people as there were earlier but there were still people passing through. I sat there for a few minutes that seemed to pass by like hours until I suddenly felt two hands cover my eyes.

"W-what!" I gasped in shock and quickly stood up and turned around, breaking the bond over my eyes.

"Hey," Ikuto smiled, chuckling.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, surprised to see him.

"I'm kidnapping you." I stared at him for a moment, about to comment on 'kidnapping' but decided it would be best to avoid it.

"Don't you have work today?" I asked, worried he had ditched work just to come and get me.

"I work for myself, remember?"

"Oh, right," I laughed to cover my embarrassment.

"Well come on," he said, grabbing my hand and leading me towards the door.

"Wait, what about Utau? Won't she wonder where I went?" I asked, but followed him out the building.

"Her loss, she shouldn't have left you unguarded like that."

"She doesn't need to guard me, I'm not a little kid," I argued lightly and he laughed.

"Of course you're not," he responded doubtfully as he opened the passenger side door of his car for me.

We drove to the park nearby, one I had been to only a few days before. Ikuto parked his car on the side of the road and gestured for me to get out with him.

"What are we doing here?" I asked as I closed the door and walked over to his side.

"Going for a walk," he said, shrugging his shoulders slightly.

"But don't you need-

"Just enjoy the walk," he interrupted, grabbing my hand a pulling me with him.

We walked around for a few minutes, just talking and me getting laughed at for the most part. As I was looking around the park, taking in the scenery, I noticed a women sitting alone on a nearby bench. I thought I recognized her as the lady who ran into me a few days before. I could have sworn she was glaring at me while she talked on the phone, but then again I was probably just imagining things. I looked at her for a little while longer before returning my attention to the rest of the park. We were coming up to a fountain where I saw a couple of kids running around and tossing coins in over and over, begging parents for another penny so they could make more wishes. I smiled as I saw one of the kids clinging onto their parents legs as they walked away, whining something about 'one more coin'.

"Did you want to make a wish?" Ikuto suddenly asked me. I stared at him skeptically.

"Seriously?" I asked him and he replied by holding up a coin between his fingers. I rose and eye brow at him and he just gestured for me to take it from him. I hesitated but sighed, seeing no harm in tossing it in, just for fun. I took the coin from him and let go of his hand and walked up to the edge of the fountain, pausing a moment before I tossed it into the water. I looked down at the rippled for a moment deciding if I was actually about to wish for something, and I again so no harm in doing so, so I thought why not?

_I wish I could be by Ikuto__'__s side for the rest of my life_.

That couldn't have been a more obvious wish. I waited a second before I heard the plop of another coin in the water, Ikuto apparently making a wish as well.

"What did you wish for?" he asked and I laughed.

"You aren't supposed to tell people or it won't come true," I explained, turning to face him.

"You want it to come true that badly?" he pestered and I felt my face heat up slightly, but not enough to really be noticed.

"Stop poking around in other people's wishes," I said, walking around the other side of the fountain towards the sidewalk. He laughed lightly and followed after me. We walked down the path towards the area where his work was.

"Well what did you wish for then?" I asked him curiously.

"Hmmm, what do you think?" he replied, looking over at me. I stared back at him.

"I don't know," I answered, not actually sure what he would wish for.

"Well what is something you think I would wish for?" he rephrased.

"Something perverted I'm sure," I smiled to myself, proud of my witty reply.

"I asked you to guess my wish, not yours," he smirked. I scoffed at him, shaking my head a little.

"Of course," I replied. I should have expected a retort like that. He chuckled lightly.

"You make it too easy," he said, slinging his arm around my shoulder as we walked up the sidewalk.

It took us about ten minutes to get back to his workshop where someone was sitting down on a bench next to the door. He was a young boy, probably about nine or tent. He wad wearing gym shorts and a t-shirt and didn't look like they type of person who would play the violin, but next to him was a black violin case, so I guess I shouldn't leap to conclusions.

"Sorry to have kept you waiting," Ikuto said to him, and the boy stood up as Ikuto went to go unlock the door.

"It's alright, the weather's nice so I don't mind" the boy said, smiling brightly as he picked up his case. Ikuto held the door open for him and he gestured for me to follow in after. I walked quickly inside and Ikuto let the door close slowly behind him. Ikuto asked the boy what was wrong with his violin and he said something about a bridge. When they reached the table near the end of the room, the boy handed Ikuto his case and he set it down on the table, taking out theinstrument. Ikuto looked over it for a few moments before setting in gently back down on the table top.

"So you think it could cause permanent damage to it?" the kid asked, obviously worried about the violin. Ikuto laughed lightly at him.

"No, this is an easy fix," he smiled reassuringly and the boy immediately looked less tense.

"I knew my dad was overreacting," the boy replied, smiling more.

"I also noticed some developing cracks in the wood, if you would like to fix those up as well I could," Ikuto suggested.

"Yeah that would be awesome!" The boy said happily and Ikuto laughed again.

"Alright, did you want to take a seat while I fix this up really quickly?" He asked him.

"Oh well, my Dad works at the restaurant a few blocks down and told me to come back after I dropped it off so he could come back with me when we pick it up," he answered.

"That's fine, too. It should only take half an hour or so to finish if you want to tell him to come back then," Ikuto told him.

"Alright," the boy smiled at him. "Thank you!" he called out before darting out the door. I peeked out the large window next to the door and saw him running down the sidewalk. I didn't understand how a little kid with so much energy could possibly sit still long enough to play the violin.

Once he was out of sight I turned around and saw that Ikuto was already working on the boy's violin.

"You just jump right into it?" I asked, walking towards the table where he was working. He smirked as he was loosening the little screws at the top that were attached to the strings.

"I've done this countless of times," he said. "I could fix this with my eyes closed," he looked up at me and I shook my head at him, amazed at his confidence. He returned his eyes to the violin, removing a light brown piece that I assumed was the bridge. I took a seat across from him, wondering how he was going to fix something like this in such a short amount of time.

My being there didn't seem to distract him at all and the way he was working, it really looked like he had done this a thousand times. He could probably take a violin completely apart and put it back together again in ten minutes. I placed my elbow on the table, leaning up against my hand as I watched him and I saw him occasionally glance up at me but I kept my eyes on the violin, trying to understand what he was doing.

After a few minutes his hands came to an abrupt stop. I looked up at him to see why and I hadn't realized how close we were until then now that his face was only inches from mine. He looked at me in silence and I looked back, anticipating a kiss. But to my surprise he blew air in my face. I jumped back, blinking in shock.

"What was that for?" I asked and he laughed at me.

"I thought it would be funny, I was right," he answered, glancing back down at the violin.

"Ugh," I rubbed my hand on my face, scorning myself for reacting like that.

"What, disappointed?" he questioned, looking back up at me. My heart jumped slightly at his question, but I managed to stay calm for the most part.

"Um, no," I paused, not sure what to say. "You just seem more... forward today than usual is all."

"Is that so?" he asked, smirking. I again wasn't sure how to answer so I didn't respond. "Well I was given the okay last night, so I'm taking advantage of it," he continued. I threw him a confused expression.

"Since when do you wait? I thought you were one to always go at your own pace," I said and he shrugged.

"I didn't want to rush you," he replied, going back to his work. "And frankly, getting you to admit that you wanted to kiss me was well worth the wait," he added and I didn't saying anything for a few seconds.

"It was just a kiss- well it wasn't _just_ a kiss because kissing you isn't exactly just kissing because it's you," I rambled and he threw me a surprised look and when I realized what I just said I understood why. I quickly went on to avoid that conversation. "Anyways, it's like, it's not like I've never kissed someone before, well I'd never kissed you," he raised an eyebrow at me. "but still! When do you ever even go at someone elses pace?" I asked again so I could stop setting myself up for an embarrassing conversation. He chuckled lightly as he glued down a piece to the violin.

"I just didn't want to rush you," he repeated and I sighed at him.

"It's not like I'm twelve anymore," I said, more out loud then directly to him.

"Hmm, well then, I'll have to keep that in mind," he was smirking wider and when I recalled what I had just said I began to worry what I had just set myself up for.

About three hours later we headed home. The little boy from before returned with his father later on and was pleased with the work Ikuto had done. The boy went on and on to his dad how it wasn't that big a deal and how he was just being crazy thinking he permanently broke the violin. We all laughed at him and how energized he was. A few other people came in during the day, all of them mostly with just small things they needed fixed or questions about a type of violin. I was still surprised by how many people came to such a tiny place.

When we got home Utau was already there watching TV on the couch. She turned around when she heard the door opened and looked at us.

"Where did you go!" she demanded, standing up and walking towards us.

"I kidnapped her," Ikuto replied as he closed the door and hung up his jacket.

"I thought I said I was stealing her today?"

"Well then you should have kept a better eye on her."

"I am not an object!" I intercepted, but the ignored me completely. Utau continued to argue with Ikuto about taking me away from her work, saying she thought she was missing or something. Of course Ikuto was telling her I was a grown up so chances are I wasn't lost. I tried to get in on the conversation here and there but they were too involved to ever really acknowledge my comments. I sighed as I watched them move around the living room and the kitchen, bickering about who I belonged or that I didn't belonged anyone. I eventually zoned them out, wondering to myself if it was always gonna be like this.

_I guess I __w__ill have to break the law now! But seriously, really sorry for another terribly late update :c I made the huge mistake of making a tumblr and I got involved in the fandoms and I can barely make myself to my school work! Ugh I also apologize that the plotline is all over the place, I should have thought this story through more before I decided to write it.__Hopefully I__'__ll get things straight soon enough, even if it is the cheesiest thing ever hehe.__ I _also_ apologize for a short uninteresting chapters._

_(hopefully) see you soon!_


	21. 21 Feelings I've Always Had

_I'm baaacckkkk! Hey guys how have you been? I know I know, another late, late update *slaps self* you all really motivate me to keep going, even if it takes awhile for me to get started, I really truly appreciate your support because this story would be nothing without you! You've waited long enough; onwards!_

_****Flash back****_

_I sighed as I watched them move around the living room and the kitchen, bickering about who I belonged or that I didn't belonged anyone. I eventually zoned them out, wondering to myself if it was always gonna be like this._

_****End of Flash back****_

Feelings I've Always Had

A little more than a month and a half passed and lo and behold, life had continued to run just as smoothly as before. Utau still found something to rant or argue about on a daily basis. But lucky for me I had managed to get a part time job so sometimes I succeeded in avoiding her rambles for a couple days. Unfortunately getting a job also interrupted with trying to plan days to go out or just hang around the house with Ikuto, so when we did manage to get some time together Ikuto made sure to use every second of it. On multiple occasions he had made Utau leave the house just so they could sit around watching TV without her pestering them about every little thing. And there may have even been one day where I accidentally told her to go to a certain café to get some food and made her coincidentally run into Kukai. Needless to say she was gone for a couple of hours and simply muttered something about traffic and long lines when she got back.

Of course, after settling into a nice little routine Utau decided to drop a bombshell that I had mixed feelings about.

"What do you mean you are leaving for awhile?" I asked, trying to keep the shock from showing.

"I have a special concert a couple cities away that I was suddenly asked to perform at, and since I've mainly just been recording for my new album lately, my managers said I should go for it," she explained like it was no big deal.

I pursed my lips at her. "Well how long is a while exactly?" I questioned further. As much as I would have loved to spend alone time with Ikuto, I didn't know if it was such a great idea after what happened a couple nights ago when Utau refused to leave the house. She had noticed that whenever we were together, generally we would just sit next to each other, or he would put his arm around my shoulders or kiss me quickly and decided to point it out.

It was while we were watching a movie and she came down stairs and loudly said "I swear you guys never do anything other than cuddle and sit around. It's been a couple months. Move along." I obviously had a small panic attack when she said that, but fortunately Ikuto had just shrugged it off; and that only made me worry more.

She looked up at me from her phone. "It's only a few days, why do you care so much? You can finally have your quality time with Ikuto," she said and returned to tapping at the screen. Then she laughed a little. "Maybe he will finally make another move," she taunted and I sighed at her.

"Yeah, thanks for mentioning that the other night," I mentioned sarcastically.

"What? It's not like you don't want him to, you are just too much of a delicate, easily flustered butterfly to say it yourself. You need to break out of your shell and surprise him! I bet that would be interesting," she smiled at the idea of that. As much as the thought of seeing a surprised Ikuto pleased me, I didn't think I could bring myself to be quite that forward about whatever she was thinking.

"Butterflies don't have shells," I explained since I didn't really know what else to say. She threw me an 'are you serious' look and I smiled hopefully back at her but she just exhaled.

"Just, stop being so nervous about everything that has to do with him. Trying kissing _him_ for once, or ask to sit in his room with him or something. Honestly, even if he teases you about it that's what he loves about you," she said. It was moments like this that I sometimes felt like she was a couples counselor, well at least for me. "Plus throwing him a curveball is the best thing since you can rarely ever fluster him. You have to take the opportunity when it arises!"

I pondered that for a moment. I knew she was right, but I also knew I was never really one for jumping the ball. "Yeah, well, I guess we'll see," I thought aloud. She nodded in response and then went back to her phone. I sighed and twiddled my fork between my fingers, wondering if I could ever actually find it in me to do things like that without losing all my composition.

A few days later Utau rolled her suitcase down the stairs mid-morning dressed in a short white dress and an orange beret looking more like she was going to the beach then preparing for a concert. I was waiting by the door and she walked up to me, wearing a look that said she knew that I was going to say something.

"What?" she said, setting her suitcase down.

"How many days did you say you were going to be gone for?" I asked skeptically, trying to act subtle about it but she saw right through me.

"Three, four days. Depends how long the concert ends up being and how fast we set up and everything," she explained.

"But I mean, if the concerts only for one day, shouldn't that mean you could be back in-"

"No. I have to rehearse, too."

"I know, except-"

"Forget it. You are just going to have to spend alone time with him," she explained and picked up her suitcase again. "God forbid a couple does something like that," she muttered sarcastically as she walked out the door. I stood by the door for a couple moments and then sighed. It was going to be fine, it's not like I hadn't been alone with him before, that shouldn't even bother me in the first place. It's a good thing! We were a couple after all and frankly by 20 years old, things like this shouldn't make my heart race so much anymore. But nonetheless they still did no matter how hard I tried to shake it off. I supposed it was just imbedded into my system for life.

At 12 o'clock I left for my shift at a clothing shop a couple miles away. I was lucky that I happened to be walking by a couple weeks before when I saw them hang up a help wanted sign and I decided to check it out. Apparently one of the past employees quit unexpectedly and they were at wits end trying to find someone to replace them. So after a quick interview they hired me on the spot. It wasn't a big-time store or anything, just one of those casual shops you walked by about ten times before you actually noticed it and decided to check it out when you found yourself with a few spare minutes. When the doorbell rang with my arrival the person manning the cash register looked up.

"Hi Amu!" she said enthusiastically.

"Hey May," I sent a smile her way as I walked past and headed to the back. May was one of the other two people I worked with at the shop. She was short with shoulder length blonde hair and was probably one of the nicest people I had ever met, although her constantly energized personality could be a bit overwhelming at times.

When I walked through the curtain I spotted Hiro, my other co-worker. He might as well have been the exact opposite of May. He was a little taller than Ikuto and had dark black hair that was cut short. He was generally soft spoken and kept to himself, which meant he rarely ran the register and preferred to stay in back sorting through inventory. But after you talked to him for a few times he was just a great a person as May. I actually had a slight speculation that the two had a thing for each other.

"Good afternoon Amu," he said, his voice straining as he picked up a heavy box.

"Afternoon," I started, walking towards him. "Need a hand?"

He gripped the box a little tighter. "No I got, thanks," he replied, but just as he said that he started loosing his hold on it and I rushed to help him. He laughed lightly and peaked around one end of the box. "I said I had it," he lied, a small smile growing on his face. I laughed at him now.

"Just let me give you a hand." He sighed a little and then shifted before we started to move the box to one of the storage closets.

We, maybe a little too roughly, set it on the ground, causing dust to fly everywhere. We quickly made our way out and returned to the back. "Thanks for the help," he coughed a little as he readjusted his shirt, wiping some of the dust off.

"Not a problem, that box was way too heavy for one person," I reassured him, brushing the dust of my clothes as well. He looked to the corner of the room and I followed his gaze and saw about ten other boxes. I looked back at him and he was wearing a pleading expression. I shook my head at him. "Exactly why does such a small store have so much merchandise already stocked up anyways?" I asked as we both walked over to pick up another box.

"I've been working here for two years and I ask that question every time the managers orders something else," he explained as we lifted up the box to carry it back to the storage room.

A few hours later I switched out with May to work the cash register and she went out to lunch. Usually around this time of day it wasn't very busy, even though it was the weekend a lot of people still had to work. It wasn't usually until the early evening people came in. I was looking down and shifting through some papers when I heard the bell toll and I looked up. "Good morning, how are…" I greeted them, but my voice trailed off as I vaguely recognized the person who walked in. It was the woman who I seemed to keep running into around the town. My mood immediately went sour at the sight of her. I knew I shouldn't be judgmental, but it seemed like whenever I saw her she was glaring at me so it was kind of hard not to. I straightened up a bit. "How are you today?" I tried to act as polite as possible. I waited for a response but she didn't even bat an eyelash in my direction. I slumped over at her response. I wondered if this was something about me or if she just generally had a bitter personality. I occasionally glanced up at her as she walked around the store, looking at a few dresses, but never taking one off the rack and trying it on. She continued to do that for at least twenty minutes and I kept waiting for Hiro or May to come in a ease the tense atmosphere but I guessed Hiro was still doing something out back and May was taking a longer break than usual. I sighed internally and glance over at her again. Her attire seemed too fancy (as usual), clothed in a pure white dress that made her auburn hair pop. She was wearing platform wedges and her whole outfit made her look like she belonged on the cover of a magazine.

"I would appreciate it if you stopped staring at me," she suddenly said out of the blue. I blinked furiously and quickly turned my attention elsewhere

"Sorry," I said quietly. My face burned with embarrassment and I went back to looking through papers to keep myself from looking too antsy. I flipped through a couple of them but I was too distracted to actually look at the words on them. Out of my peripheral I could see her staring over at me but I avoided meeting her gaze again.

"Listen here Amu," she said sternly and I heard her footsteps making their way towards me. I looked up, furrowing my eyebrows in confusion.

"How do you know my-"

"I don't like you," she stated abruptly and stopped in front of me. I was taken aback by her forwardness and was now even more confused.

I stared at her for a moment and swallowed hard. "I'm sorry, but do I know you?" I asked skeptically, racking my brain for some other previous encounter when I might have made her mad at me but nothing came to my mind.

"No you don't, but you know Ikuto. In fact, you are dating him, which only makes me hate you more," she answered. I opened my mouth to respond but then stopped, not sure what to say to that. I couldn't figure how this suddenly became about Ikuto, or how she even knew him.

"What does Ikuto have to do with any of this? Why are you even-"

She cut me off again. "He is all of it. What, did you think this had something to do with you? I don't care who you are, I just know that you're with him, which means I have every reason to hate you." I tried to understand what she was saying, but it just seemed like she was some random jealous woman who I had all but forgotten existed up until a few minutes ago. I stared at her with my mouth hanging open because I didn't even know what to say to her anymore. She glared back at me for a few more seconds and then scoffed, turning her back on me and walking towards the door. She swung it open without even taking a glance back and stormed off. I stood there, looking at the door, absolutely dumbfounded. I had no idea what just happened. I still didn't know how she knew my name, how she knew Ikuto or why she even cared about him. I didn't even know who she was so it's not like I could ask Ikuto if he ever knew some crazy, seemingly obsessive magazine girl.

I looked away from the door, trying to make sense of the situation. "What the hell just happened?" I asked out loud hoping that maybe that would make something click, but I was at a loss. Just then I heard the bell jingle on the door and I looked over and was happy to see May walk through the door. She smiled at me but upon seeing my bewildered expression she walked over to me hesitantly.

"Are you alright?" she asked. I shook my head in response.

"Yeah, I just… weird costumer," I explained, although weird wasn't exactly the right word I was looking for. After hearing it was only that she immediately lightened up.

"Oh, we do get some odd balls every now and again," she answered, tossing her bag behind the counter.

"I'll say…" I responded, wondering if I would run into her again anytime soon.

After I got off my shift at around 8 o'clock, I headed home. I had managed to shake off what happened earlier for the most part, but it was still bugging me. I thought about asking Ikuto about her but I didn't want to seem like some over protective girlfriend asking about his exes. Had Utau been here I probably would have asked her, but she wouldn't be back for another three days, so I decided to just leave it.

When I got home the house was empty and I sighed, slightly relieved. As much as I would have loved to be around Ikuto, I felt like if I talked to him now I would end up bringing up what happened this afternoon and I wasn't so sure how to approach that. I grabbed something to eat from the kitchen and then went up to my room and collapsed on my bed, exhausted. Despite the fact that I knew that I shouldn't have been as worn out as I was from just standing around and moving boxes for a few hours, I couldn't even bring myself to get up to change out of my day clothes.

I had only meant to lie down and close my eyes for a few minutes, but the next time I opened them sunlight was already streaming through the balcony doors. I squinted at the light and quickly sat up when I realized that I had fallen asleep. I looked around my room, still slightly dazed and was relieved when my clock read that it was only a few minutes after ten. Although I was sure Ikuto had already left by now, I still had plenty of time to get ready before I had to leave. I took a shower and got dressed then headed downstairs to have breakfast. After eating and gathering my things I headed off to work.

Fortunately today went by without any problems, and by problems I meant the odd woman from before. I kept waiting for her to return so I could question her myself, but she never showed up. I should have been more relieved than I was, but I couldn't shake her out of my mind. I didn't know why I was worried so much; she was most likely just a jealous ex (or crazy stalker) that was trying to intimidate me, and frankly I was letting her do exactly that. I tried to put it out of my mind as much as I could but she just kept creeping back in.

I left work at seven and when I got home Ikuto was not. I was hoping I could at least talk to him about anything just so I could stop thinking about this stupid woman, but instead I went up to my room to try and distract myself. I looked around and got on my laptop for a few minutes, but there wasn't really anything interesting in the news to read about and I quickly grew tired of scrolling through article after article. I stood up and from my desk and drifted over to a small shelf with a couple of books on it. I looked through a couple of them until I found the one I was looking for. "_The 500 Things_". I had already read it about 50 times, but it was my favorite book to read whenever my mind was feeling occupied because, well, it was such and interesting and absorbing story, I always lost myself in it and could forget about whatever was troubling me.

I sighed at myself. Except that wasn't the real reason, not really anyways. Frankly the story itself was terribly cheesy and overdone but while I had been with Tadase I had read it all the time. Although I didn't read it for the story line. I read it for the characters, one character in particular. His name was Masumane and he was the love interest of the other main character, Rika. I was guilty of reading the story over and over again because Masumane reminded me so much of Ikuto. I knew it was something dumb, but I couldn't help myself. Honestly it was more than dumb, it was terribly stupid. I hated myself for missing Ikuto while I lived with Tadase, and worse was the fact that I knew I still had feelings for him when I married Tadase. It was something I had barely ever wanted to admit to myself, so I had never told anyone else before because it was such a selfish thing to do and I was afraid of the consequences that would follow. I picked it up off the shelf and looked at it and sighed loudly. I was such an idiot back then.

I walked over to my bed and lay on my stomach, propping myself up on my elbows to read and I sifted through the worn, dog eared pages. I wasn't quite sure where I had left off seeing as I hadn't had any need to read it since I moved here, so I simply started at the beginning.

I had been reading for about an hour, already captivated by it, when I heard the door open downstairs. I stopped reading, although my eyes still remain on the book, and I listened to Ikuto's footsteps walk up the stairs. Out of the corner of my eye I saw him pop around the edge of my door that I had left open. I looked up from my book.

"Yes?" I asked him. He didn't respond and casually strolled inside my room, looking about. I shifted a little. "Did I say you could come in?"

"You didn't say I couldn't," he replied, throwing me a small smirk. I was going to argue back, but that was true. He turned his attention away from me and went back to simply looking around at my room. I watched him curiously and waited for him to say something, but he just kept glancing around like he was trying to absorb all the little details."What are you doing?" I finally asked.

"Just looking." I stared at him, trying to figure out what he was _actuall_y doing.

"Are you just going to stand there, or..?" I let my sentence trail off. He turned back to me.

"If it bothers you that much," he paused and walked over to my bed and plopped down on his stomach right next to me. And I meant _right_ next to me. "I guess I could take a seat," He smiled at me and I quickly put some space between us.

"Why are you on my bed?" I demanded, becoming more flustered by the second.

"What? It's not like I'm doing anything weird..." he paused and looked at me suspiciously. "Unlike some people I know," he said, his smirk growing wider. I knew exactly what he was talking about and I was not about to have that conversation. I knew Utau would have told him about me accidentally falling asleep in his bed, but I had still hoped she forgot to mention it to him. I didn't know what to say and even if I did I felt like nothing I could have said would stray away from the subject, so I just stared back at my book. He saw me and tilted his head. "What are you reading?" he asked curiously. I was about to answer when he suddenly grabbed it from my hands and rolled off of the bed.

"Hey!" I said, sitting up to try and level out with him, as he was now standing and leafing through the pages and then flipping to the dust cover.

"_The 500 Things_, a story about lost love, heart-wrenching betrayal, and romance that seems only to be found in fairy tales," he read aloud and then looked up at me. "I didn't know you read books like these," he confessed, a smile was still plastered on his face.

"Like what?" I replied defensively. I knew it wasn't something I would usually read, but I wasn't going to tell him why I _really_ liked it.

"This book is so over the top, it's ridiculous," he explained, leafing through the pages more and searching through the passages. "_She grabbed his hand like it was a life raft, holding her up against the currents of the sea. "Please... don't leave me, not again. I don't know if my heart could bear another loss. Especially if it's you._" He read out loud in a mocking voice and then looked at me with raised eyebrows. I glared at him. I was entirely away of how terrible corny and overly dramatic it was, but that didn't make me like it any less.

"Well it's not like anyone asked you to read it," I leaned forward and snatched the book from his hands. "If you don't like it go find another book to read or something."

"I never said I didn't like it," he replied casually. I threw him a confused look.

"Have you read it before?" I never would have guessed he would read a book like this with such a story line. I mean, I only read it for the characters and just put up with the awful plot for them.

He shrugged his shoulders. "A while ago, but yeah."

"Then why are you criticizing me for reading it?" I raised my voice a little. I hoped that the fact that he had read it wouldn't give my reasonings for reading it away to him.

He folded his arms across his chest. "Because, the main character just seems so... unlike you." He did have a point there. The main character was a girl who was all about finding the love of her life and expressing her feelings towards him so passionately and without hesitation and that was... well, not really me.

"It's a good book, why does it matter if the character isn't like me? Since when do people read books based on themselves relative to the characters in it anyways?" I argued back maybe to carefully because he gave me a suspicious look now.

"How would you know? You're barely ¼ through it," he pointed out. I was about to answer but then caught myself. I was sure he was already growing skeptical of how I was acting, but not answering would probably only make things worse

"I've read it more than once," I told him. He tilted his head a little.

"How many times?" he pried further. I stared at him for second, contemplating if I should tell him the truth or not. He stared back and I sighed, giving in slightly.

"Let's just say sitting around the house while Tadase was at work got pretty boring sometimes," I confessed, hoping to just leave it at that.

"I see," the mention of Tadase obviously affecting the mood in the room. "Why didn't you just go buy another book?" He asked. I didn't really want to dig into this so I tried to steer away from the subject.

"Because it's a fun story to read!" I explained.

"Is it really?"

"Yes! Can't I just read a book without having to play twenty questions?" I asked, faltering a little. He thought about this for a second before he replied.

"Nope," he smiled at me and I rolled my eyes in response. My eyes dropped to the book in my hands. I was stroking the cover with my thumb. The cover picture was of a girl and a guy, back to back, the girl holding a letter in hand. Although the cover was so worn after so many reads it was hard to make out. The room had remained silent while Ikuto was still looking at me questioningly and it was becoming unbearable.

"Masumane," I started softly, not sure if I wanted to go forward with this. But nonetheless, I went on. "He... reminds me of you," I said, my voice dropping significantly. That was something I never wanted to admit to myself the whole time I was with Tadase, but it was the truth, and it honestly made me hate myself, that I could be so selfish. He eyed my skeptically, a mix of emotions on his face.

"Is that so?" I looked up at him and he raised an eyebrow at me. I could tell he was trying to keep the mood light but at the same time he was obviously curious as to what I was thinking. I broke my eyes away from his and I let out a long breath. I wasn't terribly sure what he would make of this; whether he would be angry or hurt or understanding, I was at a complete loss.

"And I guess..." I said, my breath a little shaky. I could feel his eyes on me, waiting intently for me to continue. I swallowed the lump in my throat and went on. "Unconsciously... I missed you." I winced at the words coming out of my mouth. Although now I knew that was an utter lie now. Nothing about it had been unconscious, I just _missed_ him. "So I guess I read it so often to make it seem like you were kind of there," I admitted finally and I could feel the blush and the panic rising in me. Out of the corner of my eye I saw his face grew more curious.

"Really?" his voice had a hint of surprise in it, but to my relief there wasn't any anger. I remained quiet. I didn't feel like I could face him, like I had the right to face him, for acting so selfish. Suddenly he walked back over to my bed and sat beside me, but I still didn't look at him. "If you missed me, why didn't you just come and see me?" he questioned. Instead of replying I took a deep breath as I tried to come up with something to say. I never thought about being put in this situation. Never thought that I would have to come to terms with the truth from that time ago, because I knew no matter what I said, I would hurt him and myself.

"I don't know. It felt like if I saw you again, in the kind of situation we were in... I just didn't want to hurt you," I explained. That' what I told myself anyway, that was it. I just didn't want to see Ikuto hurt by seeing me, because I knew how he had felt back then, and marrying Tadase had crushed him, but I tried to ignore it. In that, I tried to ignore the pain I had felt then, too. I didn't understand so I tried to pretend I didn't feel anything by it. But the truth was I couldn't bring myself to see him because I didn't want to hurt either. It was something I tried to ignore for so long but it was the god honest truth and I couldn't keep hiding it from him. I closed my eyes. "Or myself."

The room was silent for a few painfully long moments and I felt Ikuto shift a bit next to me.

"How would seeing me hurt you?" He asked, sounding genuinely confused but also as though he was trying to put the pieces together. I knew there was no turning back now. If I was going to come out with the truth, I had to go all the way. I felt my heart racing faster in my chest.

"Because, I... It was at a point in time where I was really confused about everything and my feelings but I tried to tell myself it was nothing even though I knew it was so much more than that. And there was something constantly troubling and nagging me at the back of my mind and-" I stopped abruptly when I realized I was talking faster than I could put my thoughts together. And I was scared about telling him the last part. He waited for me to go on. I kept my eyes on the floor and clenched my fists together, drawing in a breath. "And, I suppose, I had been trying to push away feelings that I had always had..." I finished, my voice hardly above a whisper. Saying it aloud only made me feel ten times worse. I could feel my eyes starting to sting. I just told him I married Tadase even though I had had feelings for him, feelings that I _knew_ were there but I ignored them because I was selfish and foolish and scared and I don't even know of what.

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?" he guessed and I knew un-spilled tears.

"I'm so sorry Ikuto," I said glancing to the side for a moment trying to recompose myself. "But they way I feel about you now, I don't know, I don't think it's new. I think that all this time I had just been trying to tell myself otherwise so that I didn't have to complicate things because I'm selfish and I was afraid of messing everything up but now I know it was a horrible, childish, mistake and no matter how many times I tell you I won't be able to apologize enough for it," I went on without taking a breath. He stared at me with astonished eyes and I looked away again. I waited for him to be angry and lash out because I deserved that and more. I waited for him to just walk out of my room without saying a word because he was so angry. I waited for something to happen but he simply sat there without saying anything, and I assumed that meant he was too furious to even move. So obviously I was taken aback when I felt his hands on either side of my face and he forced me to look at him. I was even more shocked to find his face wasn't the least bit angry, but rather warm and understanding.

"I don't care what happened in the past Amu, it can't be changed now. Even if it could, I wouldn't change what happened and miss out on what we have now. Having to lose you and wait for you only made finally being with you so much better" he explained to me and I shook my head in protest.

"But if I had understood earlier we could have been like this sooner and you wouldn't have had to wait for me-"

He cut me off. " And I don't care how long I had to wait for you, what matters to me is that you are here _now_, and I would never want to change this," he continued to reassure me. I kept staring at him with apologetic eyes because it didn't feel right for me to get away with something like that. He stroked the side of my face with his thumb like he was trying to soften my expression. "I love you Amu. No matter what you did then, or now, or in the future. That will never change." If this had been a less emotional situation I was sure I would be flustered like mad but I was too astonished by everything that had just came out. Knowing that someone like Ikuto could care about me so much was so overwhelming I didn't even know how to react. If I could have found my voice I probably would have told him I loved him back, but my throat was too choked up to speak. All I could do was give him a small smile that hopefully said enough. I was pretty sure it did, because he returned it with his own cheeky grin and then closed off the small space between us, pressing his mouth gently against mine.

Not two seconds later a loud phone ringer went off. He groaned and tossed his head back in aggravation and then sighed loudly as a pulled a phone out of his back pocket. He glanced at the caller ID and let out another exasperated breath. "I am really gonna kill her for this one," he muttered and looked over at me. I pursed my lips, knowing that it was definitely Utau who was calling and seemingly the worst possible moment. He sighed again and stood up and answered the call. "What?" he demanded. From the other line I heard Utau's say something about being grouchy, but couldn't make out the rest. He listened for a second and rolled his eyes. "Yeah sure, I have plenty of time to talk," the irritation in his voice was painfully obvious. Utau said something else which he replied to with a snarky "No, when do you ever interrupt anything important?" Utau yelled something from the other line and Ikuto pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance. "Ah yes a long story, I would love to hear all about it," he lied and put his finger to the speaker of the phone and looked at me. "'Good night Amu," he said and I responded with a simple "'Night," back. Utau shouted something again from the other end and he brought the phone back to his ear. "Alright, alright calm down and give me a second," and he made his way towards the door, but just as he was leaving he returned his attention to me one last time. He looked at me for a moment without saying anything. Then a sincere smile grew on his face. "And thank you," he said and then he was out of the door before I could even come up with a response.

His arguing with Utau became indistinct muttering once he entered his room and after a while I stopped listening. I couldn't even believe all of that just happened. I never would have expected for it to play out that way. A smile soon played across my own lips and I fell back onto my bed. It felt like a huge weight that I wasn't even really aware that I was carrying was now off my shoulders and it was an amazing feeling. I hadn't felt this happy and relieved in a long time and it felt like nothing could possibly bring me down now.

But I was gonna kill Utau when she got back.

_Oops I accidentally added more characters that is probably a really bad thing… I will try not to delve into them too much! Sigh I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter, but I have had it finished for about a week and can't figure out_ what_ I don't like so I figured I will just publish it now and if I realize what's wrong, I'll go back and fix it __J_

_And just by the way, the book is just something I made up (hence why it literally sounds so cheesy omg!) Sorry if there are some errors in here that I didn't catch, I wrote it very late at night aka early in the morning and might have missed some things when I was going over it. Anyways I hope you enjoyed the chapter and I do I have an essay due in a few days so I probably won't be able to start it until the weekend but I'll work on it asap c:And thanks for not giving up on me guys, it means so much at motivate me to keep on going with this story!_


	22. 22 Moving Forward

_/crawls into a corner of shame for taking so long to write this/_

_***flash back***_

His arguing with Utau became indistinct muttering once he entered his room and after a while I stopped listening. I couldn't even believe all of that just happened. I never would have expected for it to play out that way. A smile soon played across my own lips and I fell back onto my bed. It felt like a huge weight that I wasn't even really aware that I was carrying was now off my shoulders and it was an amazing feeling. I hadn't felt this happy and relieved in a long time and it felt like nothing could possibly bring me down now.

But I was gonna kill Utau when she got back.

_***end of flash back***_

Moving forward

The next morning I woke to the chiming of my phone.

_Hey Amu, I'm guessing your lazy ass is still in bed right now, but I figured I'd text you anyways. I'm getting home later today, probably around 4 or 5 O'clock. So if you have anything you want to get out of your system, I suggest you do it before then._

_-Utau_

_Anything out of my system… _"Jeez," I sighed. I swear she was so intent on pushing me it was ridiculous. I set my phone back on the night stand and ran my fingers through my hair, trying to untangle some of the knots. I rolled out of bed, not really caring what I looked like since Ikuto would have already left for work by now and since I had the day off today I really didn't see any need to get ready right now anyways. After I tidied up my bed a bit I headed downstairs.

I collapsed on the couch, a bowl of cereal in hand, ready to spend the majority of the day relaxing. I turned on the TV and began to mindlessly flipp through different channels for a couple minutes, eventually stopping on a rerun of an old show I used to watch.

I wasted an hour or two watching a couple episodes, only half paying attention. With no one in the house, it got boring pretty easily. I was contemplating going out to the park or shopping when a loud knock on the front door startled me. At first I thought it was Utau, but it wasn't even two yet, and she wouldn't have knocked at her own house. I got off the couch and tried to fix my hair and clothes as best as I could before opening the door. I was surprised to see Kukai.

"Hey Kukai!" I exclaimed. It was always nice to see someone who was so energetic, although he looked slightly unnerved right now. He smiled, but his eyes were darting all over the place. "Sorry, Utau's not home right now, she won't be back for a couple more hours," I told him, not sure if he was looking for her or not.

"O-h, yeah. Yeah I know that," he answered, his voice a little shaky. I gave him a concerned look.

"Are you okay? You seem a little shaken up," well it was more like a lot, but I figured saying that wouldn't help whatever he was freaking out about. He took a deep breath and let it out.

"No. Well, yes," he stammered out. "Not really, no," he stuttered more. I had never seen him so freaked out before. Whatever it was, it was seriously getting to his head.

"What is it, what's wrong?" I asked, stepping to the side a bit. "Did you want to come inside and sit down?" I added. He shook his head at the offer.

"No, I just…" He ran his fingers through his hair as he tried to find words. "Do you think we could maybe meet up and talk? Some time next week, maybe?" he asked a little more calmly.

"Um, yeah that's fine. I can talk next week. Are you sure you don't want to now-"

"No, not now, definitely not now," He quickly answered. I couldn't figure out what was wrong with him at all.

"Okay, next week it is then," I smiled and nodded my head, trying to piece together anything.

"Great, awesome, thank you. I'll call you," he said and through his hand up to wave goodbye and then quickly walked off down the sidewalk.

"Bye," I replied, too late for him to hear.

"I wonder what's up with him?" I asked out loud as I locked the door and walked back to the couch and returned to my seat. _Oh well_. I decided I wouldn't think to much about it. If he wanted to wait a week to talk then it surely couldn't be that big of a deal, I hoped. "Ahh whatever, I'll worry about it later."

I ended up channel surfing for another few minutes and after finding nothing, decided to go to the movie network. _The Notebook_ was playing and even though I normally wouldn't watch something like that around other people, I had actually been wanting to see it for a while. And I figured the chances of Ikuto or Utau walking in on me watching it were pretty low so surely there was nothing to worry about. Luckily I had flipped to the channel just as the movie was starting so I saw that as more of an incentive to watch it.

_Allie: Why didn't you write me? Why? It wasn't over for me, I waited for you for seven years. But now it's too late._

"No..." I said, my voice breaking slightly. I wiped my eyes with the back of my hands. I couldn't believe how much I was letting this movie get to me and I decided it was a good idea I never watched it with anybody else.

_Noah: I wrote you 365 letters. I wrote you everyday for a year._

I rose my hands to my mouth. "Oh my god."

_Allie: You wrote me?_

I felt more tears welling up in my eyes. I was practically falling out of my seat in anticipation when I heard keys jingling in the lock on the front door. I quickly scrambled for the remote, but it must have gotten lost between the cushions "Crap..." I muttered as I tried to compose myself best I could, hopelessly trying to clear the tears from my eyes. The door opened and Ikuto walked in. I turned away from him and started sifting through the cushions, trying to find the remote. I heard him let out a huff in disbelief.

"Are you watching _The Notebook_?" he questioned. I heard him set a bag down on the counter and the clatter of keys along with it.

_Noah: Yes... it wasn't over, it still isn't over_

"Umm yes, is that a problem?" I demanded, still trying to clear my face, but I couldn't fight back a sniffle. I could practically hear him furrowing his eyebrows.

There was a pause before he spoke. "Are you crying?" he asked, his tone was teasing but there was a small trace of concern in it. I sniffed again in response, wiping my eyes and my nose with my hands again but it seemed impossible to cover up all the evidence of tears.

"I wasn't expecting anybody to be back until later," I confessed, finally turning towards him. I'm sure I was a sight; swollen, red eyes and tear stained cheeks. The true image of beauty. Especially if you added in my still un-brushed hair and pajamas.

"What, have you been crying over sappy romance films all day? Miss me that much?"

"No! I was watching other shows earlier but there was nothing else on so I just decided to watch this," I answered defensively. He let out a laugh and walked over to where I was sitting and sat next to me.

"But you have been watching TV all day I presume?" I opened my mouth to argue with him but I couldn't deny it, so I refrained from responding. This earned another laugh from him.

"You're home early," I accused more that stated. He eyed me up and down, obviously noting my sleeping attire.

"God you've hardly moved today, have you?" he pointed out. Squinted at him, wiping the last few remaining tears from my eyes.

"I've gotten up; I had to answer the door," I told him, although saying it didn't really help my case considering that was really the only time I actually _did_ move.

"Didn't sneak into my room again, did you?"

I cringed at the mention of that. "Do you really have to keep bringing that up?"

He gave a triumphant smile and draped his arm over my shoulders, drawing me closer. "Until you do something more embarrassing, yeah," he turned his head to face me, still wearing a smug smile. I shook my head in response and looked away, my cheeks flushing.

"You're such a child, blackmailing me," I countered and he chuckled.

"Oh yes, I'm the child, says the one gets flustered every time I look at her," he teased. I pursed my lips in defiance and he just laughed more and nuzzled into my neck.

"There you go again, treating me like a child."

He huffed out a laugh. "You are a child."

"I am not!"

"Are too," he replied jokingly. I narrowed my eyes at him and he threw his head back and laughed again.

"I swear, you still act like I'm in middle school," I replied, crossing my arm around me.

"Can you blame me? Middle school Amu was the one I fell in love with, of course I would grow attached," he said, straightening up a bit. I blinked a few times as I tried to come up with a response.

"Yeah well, I'm not a middle schooler anymore. I've said that like a thousand times."

Ikuto gave me a strange look. "Interesting."

"What?" I asked, not catching on what he was getting at.

He shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know, I guess I'm just wondering why you keep repeating it then."

I felt my heartbeat start to pick up. I only now realized I may have overused that line a bit. I had been trying to implicitly tell him that even though I did get embarrassed and flustered when he kissed me or held my hand, I liked it when he did. I was just too afraid to tell him that. God knows he would tease me about it endlessly.

"Amu, are you keeping secrets from me again?" he inclined his head towards mine to try and capture my attention. I continued to look anywhere but at him. He let out a sigh and leaned back into the couch. "I suppose we could always talk more about how you snuck into my room while I was out. And smelled my bed. You probably went through my closet, too, huh?" He went on and I knew he was just trying to get me to talk but I was so embarrassed about the bed thing it was working. "You know I noticed a pair of my-

"Okay! I'll talk, just... don't finish that sentence," I finally spoke up. Even though I didn't take anything from his room, the thought of him accusing me of it was too much. Nothing I said now could really be worse than where that conversation was going, I hoped. He smiled triumphantly, waiting for me to speak. I tightened my arms around me to give myself a sense of security, seeing as there was no way to avoid this now. But I didn't know where to start without him making fun of me or calling me a pervert.

"So, why do you keep repeating the whole 'I'm not twelve anymore, I'm not a middle schooler, I've matured' thing? Please tell me, I'm curious," his words said he was curious but the tone of his voice made it seem like he already knew exactly what I meant and he just had a thing for making me admit things out loud. I let out a shaky sigh. No matter which way I said it, he was going to call me a pervert.

"I'm just trying to say," I paused, trying to think of some arrangement of words that would sound as innocent as possible. _I want you to kiss me and hold my hand and hug me and sit next to me and even though I act like a defiant little child if there was anything that I didn't want you to do or if I felt like we were taking things too far too fast I would tell you that._ Oh yeah, that doesn't imply anything at all. I dropped my face into my hands, at a loss on what to say.

Ikuto didn't say anything at first, but seemed as though he was piecing it together. "Now I'm just taking a leap of faith here, but from what I've gathered, you are basically saying that if you wanted me to stop doing something, you would say so," he guessed spot on. I groaned into my hands, not wanting to look at the evil smirk that was surely on his face now. I heard him let out a laugh. "You go on and on about how much of a pervert I am but look at you! You're just as bad as me, if not worse," he said, obviously enjoying this new found information. "So I'm guessing this means you also want to kiss me, right?" he questioned further. At this point I was so red there wasn't even a point in trying to hide my face seeing as blood was all the way up to my ears.

I sat up and laid back against the couch and finally looked at him. "Don't you think you are just making assumptions now?" I was trying to play off the new found comedy of the situation in hopes of avoiding answering that question.

"Well seeing as we both know you want me to kiss you, I can't help but wonder if you goes for the other way around," he said and my fears were confirmed. It seemed like yet another direction I couldn't steer away from. I broke my gaze from his and remained silent. "Just admit it, I'm the only one who is going to hear," he continued in an attempt to coax the words out of me. He should have already known it was only embarrassing because he was the one who was going to hear it. I didn't really have a problem telling other people, except maybe Utau because she would relay the information to him.

"No," I told him, my voice surprisingly steady. I knew playing games could only hold off answering for so long, but I'd take what I could get.

He cocked his head to the right, clearly not having expected that response. "No?" he repeated as if to make sure he had heard correctly. Taking my silence as a yes, he bent forward and placed his elbows on his knees. "So let me get this straight; you're saying that you want to kiss me, but you won't admit it?" he looked like he was amused by what I was doing, but there was a trace of confusion on his face.

"I guess it would depend on how you interpret it," I answered vaguely. I wasn't really sure what that even meant but I would rather dance around the question than straight up answer it. At this point he was starting to crack a smile but he looked more lost than before.

"What are you doing?" he asked, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Nothing," I was just stalling in the most efficient way I knew how.

Ikuto let out a laugh at this response. "Are you playing games with me?"

I slowly shook my head. "I'm not playing anything, I'm simply having a conversation," I replied, glad that for once I was able to keep my head straight.

"I can't believe you are actually doing this," he laughed again, bringing a hand up to his face and rubbing his eyes. "You're just stalling by using all these evasive answers," he guessed correctly again.

Despite myself I tried to defend against that. "I'm not-

Before I could even get three words out he shot me look that silenced me right away. I closed my mouth without bothering to try and finish.

"I knew you were up to something, I just couldn't tell what," he pointed out. "Your level headedness was what gave you away actually," he told me, like he was explaining errors he found in some elaborate plan. "But you should play games more often, it's cute."

My composure faltered at the word 'cute'. "What?" I squeaked out, the tone of my voice flipped around entirely.

"Ah, there she is!" he exclaimed, throwing his arm around my shoulder again, bringing me closer. "Alright, so if you like games so much, how about we play another?" he suggested, adjusting his arm more tightly around me. "It's called 'I'm not letting you off this couch until you answer a couple question for me'."

I tried to get a hold of myself again. "Um, I'm not a fan of that particular game," I answered. It never ended well for me. He smiled at this.

"Great, let's start," he said, completely ignoring my input. "Why were you really watching _The Notebook_?" I opened my mouth to speak when he quickly added "And don't say it was because it was the only thing on when we have premium cable and a stack of movies in the corner."

I sighed, but I was slightly relieved seeing as this question wasn't so hard to answer. "Because it's a movie I've been wanting to see for a while, but I didn't want to watch it around other people."

He raised a skeptical eyebrow at me. "Did I forget to mention that all question must be answered honestly, no half truths, or else?"

I gave him a funny look. What kind of person thinks adding 'or else' to the end of something makes it more intimidating? I decided to humor him. "Or else what?"

He leaned forward, pressing his forehead to my temple and whispered into my ear, "Or else." The feeling of his breath against my skin sent a chill down my spine and I shuddered. I was sure he noticed but I was too busy trying to recompose my face to worry about that.

"Um, I never got around to watching it before, and since I thought I was going to be alone now seemed like the best time to watch it," I added. My face must have been ridiculously pink after that, but luckily he had yet to point it out. He glared back at me, doubt still clear on his face. "That's it," I reassured, and this seemed to convince him enough.

"Alright, moving on," he said. I braced for the next question because surely it was going to be even worse. "Have you snuck into my room at all today? Or really any other time since last."

I rolled my eyes at this one. "Really?" I asked him. He was never going to let that one go. He raised his hands in his defense.

"I'm just asking, because if you keep going in there I'm going to have to buy a whole new wardrobe sooner or later."

"I was only in there _once_. It was an accident and I didn't even take anything! I went into your room and fell asleep on your bed, end of story."

"Wow ,Utau really blew that one out of proportion," he said, looking away like he was recalling something. This shot a panic through me.

"What did she say to you?!" I demanded, but at the same time I was afraid to hear what exactly she had told him.

He shook his head. "Nothing, nothing, let's move onto the next and final question."

"Whatever she told you was a lie, what I said was all that-

"Do you want to kiss me?" He cut me off, but after hearing that I felt my mouth freeze up instantly and it took me a second to find my voice.

"What?" I felt like we were replaying that night from when he first kissed me and I hoped it would be easier this time around.

"Let me rephrase that. Do you want to kiss me, but you're too afraid to?"

I opened my mouth, trying to find words that were neither a no or a yes. "I... I'm not afraid to," I ended up saying. He nodded in response.

"But you want to."

I had walked right into another one of his traps. "I never said that." I quickly said out of habit.

"You and that 'I never said that' thing," he laughed. "Alright, alright, one more."

"You said-

"Why?"

I hesitated for a moment before speaking. "Why.. what?"

"Why do you want to kiss me? If it's for the same reason that you think is mine, then it's because you're a pervert, right?" He clarified. I knew he was playing off of the fact that I more often the not called him a pervert whenever he planted a surprise kiss on me.

I figured the easiest way out of this was to just say 'I want to kiss you because I'm a pervert' but I felt like saying that would be so expected and it would only give him another reason to laugh at me. And of course, it wasn't the real reason, as if that wasn't obvious. I desperately wished I could manage to say 'Because I love you.' but how could I ever say something like that? The nerve it would take for me to actually say that aloud was not something I had in me. But the idea of seeing his face looking so surprised would almost be worth it, and it would definitely make me feel better to say that instead.

"If you ever want to get off this couch you have to say it," he reminded me in a light tone. He would be so taken aback if I could just say it, even whispering it would be good enough.

I took a deep breath, keeping my eyes fixed on my hands. It was now or never, or at least not for a while. "Because-

"Oh come on, give me the honor of using full sentences," he added quickly. I looked up to glare at him and he was smiling, pleased to see how embarrassed I was.

I sighed and closed my eyes. _Alright the first part he'll expect, second part will throw him completely through a loop_. I swallowed thickly, giving myself one last mental push. "I want… to kiss you," I started, happy that I was able to get the first part out without any issue.

"Because?" he gestured me to continue.

I took another breath. "Because, I..." I knew I could say it, it was just two more words, and I wanted to say it and I was sure he wanted to hear it so I just needed to grow up and say it. I saw him wave his hand, telling me to go on. "Because I...I love you..." I said it. I couldn't believe I succeeded in getting those words to leave my mouth. It felt so good to finally say them again, not to mention relieving. As I expected, Ikuto was entirely taken by surprise. He leaned down to get closer to me so his face was almost on level with mine.

"What?" he asked a moment after I said it. I figured this situation really couldn't get much more embarrassing so I looked at him and I decided whatever followed this would be worth it for that face. His playful smirk and devilish gaze were wiped clean off and had been replaced with slightly parted lips and wide eyes. Of course the moment passed just as soon as it came and that amused grin was right back where it always was.

"Did I hear that correctly?" he questioned and I groaned internally.

"I'm leaving now," I said, starting to get up. The moment was over before it started and I would not stick around for the endless teasing.

"No you're not," I heard him say from behind me. I was barely halfway to the stairs when I felt his arms wrap around my waist and stop me in my tracks.

"Wha- let go of me!" I demanded, but in response he just lifted me higher so my feet weren't even touching the ground.

"Now why would I do that?" he asked, taking a few steps backwards. I could feel him starting to lean back and if he didn't put me down we were going to topple over.

"Because," I started, feebly trying to wiggle my way out of his arms. "You are going to lose your balance and we're going to-"

Before I could get the word out of my mouth I felt us fall back and I waited to crash on the ground. I had expected a much harder impact until I realized we had fallen onto the couch, back first, with me lying on top of him.

"Fall," I finished, letting out a sigh. _Why did we always end up here?_ I waited for him to let go of me, but he didn't move. "Are you going to let me get off or what?" I asked. He didn't answer at first, like he was contemplating something. I wasn't able to see his face from where I was so I couldn't even begin to try and decipher what exactly that something was.

"Nah," he eventually replied, his voice nonchalant.

"What do you mean 'nah'?" I scoffed. He couldn't hold me here forever. Sooner or later he would have to get up; hopefully before Utau got home.

"Why did you say that?" he blatantly ignored my question.

"Say what?" I felt his head move, and I assumed he was trying to get a better look at my face.

"You said 'I love you' instead. Why?"

I rolled my eyes. "Why do you think, dumbass?" I retorted. As if that answer wasn't obvious enough in itself. I felt his chest shake with a light laugh.

"That's not what I meant," he clarified. "You don't usually say something like that so out of the blue, especially when you have other options in front of you. So I repeat my question: Why?"

I sighed, unsure of how to start. "I don't know," I said hesitantly. Part of it was because seeing that honest to god look of surprise on his face was probably one of the most gratifying sights in the world, but that wasn't all of it. "I guess, because... I don't really say it as much as I should," well, more like as much as I wanted to, but I would keep that to myself.

He didn't respond immediately, taking in what I had just said. "You know you don't have to say it all the time for me to know that you do," he answered.

"I know... But I still feel like I should, since I never really do anything like that..." I confessed. I never held his hand first or hugged him or kissed him. I hardly said 'I love you' or expressed how much I loved him in any way because despite what I said about having grown up, the second I looked into his eyes I felt myself revert back to that girl from ten years ago and get too flustered do anything but call him names.

"Like what?" he pried. Even though his face was still out of my line of sight, I could hear a smirk in his voice.

I tightened my arms around myself. "You know," he was just continuing to play 'Lets see how many things we can get Amu to confess in one go'.

"Like kiss me?" he guessed. I exhaled, giving in to him.

"You could use that as an example, yes," I responded. He laughed again at my evasive answer.

"If it's not clear already, you can kiss me whenever you want. I promise I won't reject," he teased, although I knew there was some truth in that.

I wasn't quite sure how to answer that, so I went with, "I figured as much."

He didn't reply to that so we just lay there in silence, other than the murmur of voices coming from the TV. I kept waiting for him to respond or move or do anything, but he appeared content with just staying like this. I, on the other hand, felt like I was crushing him and wanted to move.

"Are you planning on letting me go anytime soon or do I have to try and make a break for it?" I eventually asked him. He seemed to think this over for a moment before he spoke.

"Hmm, well the latter could make for an interesting situation," he answered. I shook my head internally at him and was about to fight my way free when I felt his arms loosen around me. I struggled to sit up and when I managed to do that I quickly got off of him. After I did he swung his legs around the couch so he was sitting up, a satisfied smile spread across his face. I rolled my eyes at him, turning around to head up stairs again when he called out to me.

"What, you don't want to sit with me?" I stopped and turned around to face him. He was staring at me expectantly. I could have said 'no' but I was growing tired of holding up that façade. Instead I shuffled back over to the couch and sat down beside him; not too close but not too far. He threw me another smile and offered me his hand. I stared at it for a moment and he wiggled his fingers impatiently. I let out a small laugh and carefully placed my hand on his, our fingers intertwining.

"See, it's not so hard," he said.

I pursed my lips to the side is disagreement. "Yeah, well," after all of that holding his hand didn't seem so difficult but who knew what tomorrow would bring.

"I mean you could always kiss me if you were feeling up for a challenge," he said, clearly still not abandoning that topic. "And if I remember correctly, you are the type of person who likes a challenge," he added.

I tried my best to keep my cool and not fall for his games again. "I get this feeling that you are trying to manipulate me," I responded.

He let out an exaggerated gasp. "Manipulate is a strong word, I prefer coax, or encourage."

I shook my head at him. "I'm not going to let you trick me into kissing you," I told myself I would do it in my own time.

"No, no, I get it. You're too afraid to, entirely understandable."

"I am not!" I quickly replied. He turned to look at me just then.

"Then do it," he said, his voice both taunting and curious.

I was taken aback by his candid answer and it took a moment to recollect myself. I let out a nervous laugh. "So what? You expect me to kiss you, just like that?"

"Yes," he replied without missing a beat. Then he cocked his head to the side a bit. "Well, no, but wouldn't that be something?" he smirked at me. I stared at him skeptically, knowing that he knew he had me wrapped around his finger. But I couldn't help but feel this need to prove him wrong nonetheless. His body was turned to face me, so it was an ideal position to do it; grab his shirt and kiss him. Surely he would never see it coming; two surprises in one sitting would be a new personal record. I kept my eyes fixed on his, contemplating and planning out if and _how_ I was going to do it, exactly. My train of thought was broken when he spoke.

"If you're going to do it, then just do it, otherwise we are going to end up having a staring contest for the next-"

I grabbed the front of his shirt, having it all planned out in my head. Grab him, pull him closer, kiss him and cut him off mid sentence, bask in the glory that is surprising Ikuto.

Unfortunately I barely got to the first part before my resolve failed and I stopped in my tracks. I dropped my head in embarrassment. How he did it in one fluid movement with so much ease was a mystery to me because I was already through. There was no way I was going to summon up all that courage again.

"I'm waiting," he said, interrupting my inner dialogue. My heart jumped when he spoke.

"Are you really saying something like that now?" I questioned. His criticism wasn't going to make this any easier.

"What? For a second there I thought you were actually going to do it but now I just end up with a wrinkled shirt, I really don't see how I got anything out of this," he continued to try and agitate me. I gripped his shirt tighter in response.

"Would you just... Give me a second to prepare myself," I answered, which sounded a lot stranger said aloud than it did in my head.

"Who needs to prepare themselves to kiss someone?" he laughed.

"I do!" I argued. And he should know that.

"All you have to do is press your lips to mine, I really don't see the difficulty in that."

I was entirely aware that he was only trying to egg me on further but I couldn't stand his relentless mocking anymore. I raised my head and closed my eyes, leaning forward and expecting to feel Ikuto's lips on mine. Instead I was surprised to feel my cheek rub against his. I paused for a moment, trying to process what I had just done, and my eyes popped open when it hit me. I could not believe I just did that. I closed my eyes too early and slid right past him. I stayed frozen in that position, utterly mortified Not even Ikuto sniggering in my ear caused me to move.

"Did you seriously just miss?" he asked in a terribly amused voice. I didn't dare answer or move and I had accepted that I would sit like this for the rest of my life. I felt Ikuto place his hands on my cheeks and slowly move me until I was looking at him, still too humiliated with myself to look away. "I don't know what kind of loser can't even initiate a kiss properly, but I admire your determination," he said, a smirk plastered on his lips. I couldn't even begin to grasp what I had just done. The one time, _one time_, I was finally determined to actually kiss him, I was too stupid to even do it right. I was so upset with myself I had almost not noticed when Ikuto started leaning forward to kiss me. To be honest I was more than happy to lose myself in it when he stopped just as our noses were almost touching. I waited for him to close the space between us but he continued to stay where he was.

"You have to meet me halfway," he whispered. His words snapped me out of the daze I had been in and I looked him in the eye. Hardly a few inches away, they were filled with expectancy. I tried to swallow down my uneasiness and as steadily as I could manage, I slowly leaned forward. It seemed to take forever but eventually my lips met his. I felt him smile against my mouth and after a moment passed he pulled back slightly, just enough so he could speak.

"See, I knew you could do it," he murmured, and then quickly returned his lips to mine.

Utau came home about half an hour later to the two of us sitting on the couch together, mindlessly watching whatever was on the TV.

"I'm back!" She announced as she came through the door.

"We can see that," Ikuto responded, not bothering to turn around to look at her.

"Hey, don't get sassy with me. I've had a long trip and I'm tired and I'm not afraid to hurt you."

Ikuto laughed at this and turned around, casually draping one arm on the top of the couch. "How did the concert go?"

"Good, it was pretty packed, although they could have chose a better location. The acoustics were weird and all but hey, what can you do?" she explained, setting her suitcase by the door. Ikuto nodded in agreement as she walked over to the couch and sat down beside him. "Gah, I'm so hungry," she complained.

"Well what do you want me to do about it?" Ikuto replied.

"Go make dinner or go out and get something," she politely demanded rather than ask.

"Why didn't you just get something on the way back?" he retorted.

"I was tired."

Ikuto sighed loudly, realizing he probably wasn't going to win this argument and got up. "Fine."

Utau went from pathetic and whiny to gleeful in about half a second. "Thank you!"

Ikuto grabbed his pair of keys off the table and headed out the door.

"So is this what you two have been doing the whole time I was gone?" she asked as soon as he had shut the door.

I rolled my eyes. "Obviously not the entire time, but what were you expecting?" I asked, slightly afraid of what was running through her head.

"I don't know," she replied, surprisingly not prying further. After a few moments I remembered something I had been meaning to ask her when she got back.

"Hey, are you and Kukai fighting?" I asked curiously. She shot me a confused look.

"No, why do you ask?" her voice slightly worried.

"Oh I don't know, he just stopped by the other day and seemed sort of, I don't know, freaked out? He wouldn't tell me what was up, just that he needed to talk to me about something later," I explained. Utau was wearing a concerned look but quickly shook it off.

"Well, I'm sure it's nothing, probably some soccer game he lost and he doesn't was to complain to me about it," she tried to shrug it off as nothing, but I could still see the unease on her face. I hoped everything would be alright with them.

After we ate I retreated back to my room to check my email for anything from work. When I logged on to my computer I saw and address I didn't recognize. Out of curiosity I opened it. I furrowed my brow in confusion at the text inside.

_stay away from ikuto._

Even without a signature I knew who it had to be from. I glared at the short message, trying to understand if this mysterious redhead was threatening me or just trying to scare me away. All I knew was she was insane if she thought I was actually going to fall for her strange antics. I was contemplating replying to her when Utau suddenly burst through my door, of course without knocking, and I quickly shut my laptop closed.

"Why doesn't anybody in this house know how to knock?" I asked. She ignored me, closing the door behind her. "Anyways, I thought you were exhausted from your trip? Why don't you go to sleep or something," I told her, not feeling much in the talking mood after that email.

She plopped down on my bed across from me. "Ikuto told me about your kissing disaster,"

_Did he tell you are did you ask him about every possible thing that could have happened while you were gone?_ "Ugh, why am I not surprised," I said instead.

"Not going to lie, that's pretty bad," she told me. "What did you even do when you were with Tadase? I get Ikuto is different but come one did you two just sit around watching movies all day? I mean, what did you do on your honeymoon?" she asked.

My eyes widened at the word 'honeymoon'. I scratched my head awkwardly, feeling the atmosphere around me quickly becoming more and more uncomfortable as I had not been prepared for a question like that. Even though her tone was joking, I couldn't help but panic, and Utau caught on. She gave me a funny stare

"You two did…" she let her sentence trail off. Her face was a mix of confusion and bewilderment.

I pressed my lips into a hard line, not wanting to answer her unfinished question.

Her jaw dropped. "Oh my god you didn't." I sighed at her revelation. I had managed to keep that secret solely to myself for the longest time. With Utau around I should have known it would come out eventually. "How did that happen?" she pressed further, still in disbelief.

I shook my head. "We... had a fight the night of, and I told him he could sleep outside for all I cared. I took the bed and he slept on the couch that was in the hotel room," I explained and she leaned for as if that would help her understand better.

"Well what about after? When you stopped fighting?" She asked and I shrugged my shoulders.

"I don't know, it just never happened. He was a really busy guy, and he was tired a lot, and pretty reserved so it just… didn't," part of me was grateful for that now. I knew something like virginity shouldn't be that important to me, but I guess I was sentimental about some things. Suddenly Utau was hitting my leg, her face full of excitement. "What, what is it?" I asked, taken aback by her sudden change of emotion.

"Do you understand what this means?" she exclaimed. I had an idea as to what it was but I was hoping, praying I was wrong.

I shook my head at her. "No, what does it mean?"

She gestured me to lean forward and she cupped her hand around my ear. "This means you get to save yourself for Ikuto!" She whispered enthusiastically. My fears were confirmed, but my eyes still went wide in shock and my mouth fell agape.

"You can't be serious."

She stopped jumping around. "About what?"

"Please tell me," I started, but realizing Ikuto was right across the hall I beckoned Utau closer and whispered harshly in her ear. "Please don't tell me you aren't _fangirling_ over the fact that my first time is going to be with Ikuto."

"Of course I am!" She said loudly. I stared at her, now the one who was in disbelief. I wasn't some fictional character she could freak out about, yet she seemed to think the exact opposite.

"Ugh," I pinched the bridge of my nose between my fingers. Sometimes, a lot of time, she was too much. "If you could please, _please_, refrain from mention this to him, you can tell him anything else we were talk about, but please, not this. I am begging you to keep this one secret to yourself," I pleaded with her. She pondered this for a moment.

"I guess that's a fair enough trade," she said and I sighed in relief, leaning back into my chair.

Unfortunately, after learning this she decided to ask me anything and everything she could think of about that had to do with me and Ikuto.

_Ugh I am really not feeling this chapter. I'm sorry if you didn't feel it either, but (as usual) I was having trouble with the timing and I feel like the build up in most scenes were weird and there were a bunch of random moments and I don't know ugh I just don't like it. But I was tired of making you guys wait and I did the 6 month hiatus thing after I promised I wouldn't do it again and I'm just really super sorry._

_But on a lighter note, can I just say thank you. Thank you to all of you who are still reading this because I just realized I have been writing this story for almost THREE YEARS (at least on the 25__th__ it will be). And there have been a lot of times when I have thought about giving up, but you guys are so great I have to keep going. My goal is to finish this before October rolls around so I can keep it to about three years because I feel like any longer would be to extensive (I know you are probably thinking 'that's less than a month no way!' but I'm really going to crack down on it!)_

_Anyways, hope to see you all soon!_

_(Also side note: I'm still trying to make Amu grow up (Slowly because too fast would be odd character development) and be more open/forward/less embarrassed about things so keep that in mind!(Notice not a lot of stuttering in this chapter ;))_

_(Another side note woops: who notice the breakage of the fourth wall?)_


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